why am I more afraid of losing you than I am of losing myself?

if I am not there in your gathering,
there is no sadness,
there is no sadness..
stories of ours, of our closeness,
aren't less,
they are plenty.
I have turned
my mornings into evenings sitting in your courtyard.
[that is I have so many times passed my time there.]

I knew long ago my mind was too delusional,
To the point of forgetting it was just an illusion.
I kept deceiving myself with empty dreams,
And broken promises kept on piling up once again.
I am slipping between a scarce chance and stability,
I forget uselessness of my desires since the sun is never on my side,
I am friends with nights full of insomnia and sleeplessness.


Run, I run into branches of the sunny wires,
Tumble and kneel to whatever catch my eyes,
I mark them as godly, pray for wellbeing,
Afraid to allow a human touch.
I don't have sorrows yet to eat me inside.

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Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat