So many thoughts feelings expressions emotions
locked behind deadpan eyes and a voice that's toneless.
A mountain of a person consolidated to this form.
A body unimpressive.
A face unexpressive.
The chaos upstairs requires all of my attention.

Conversing takes a back-seat which is why I seem distant.
Too many things to say only leaves me in silence.
I don't know how or where to begin.
If only I could let you inside to weather the storm
maybe you could make sense of this nonsense and bring me to port.

We attempt rescue, unable to bear
the stardust-coated dragonfly
beat, beat, beating
frantic on the glass.

We entice him to perch
on our extended lifeline-broom
nurse him in a box, where he flutters
quivers, lies quietly blue.

My son cries bitterly
as we place a minute cross
upon the dragonfly grave
while intoning our final goodbyes:

We honor those who have fallen victim
to this fatal architectural trap, lured
by skylights of enticing white-light death
and the paned illusion of freedom.

In admiration of winged determination
and perseverance in the face of futility
we carefully tend the fragile, curved bodies
lay them here to rest under the mock orange.

years of gauze-weighted detritus
swept beneath these ponderous shrubs
a reminder - what seems like freedom
                                                         ­           often isn’t.

I think of you always. I think of you and that is one of the few times I smile. Just to know that someone as amazing as you are exist, that I could be a part of your life. No matter the pains and sorrows I suffer, I find joy in that simple truth
I know you are in pain. I worry for you. I know this world has it's ways of being all too much at times, it can be for me too. I know, and you know I know.  And that is enough to help me be strong  even under the weight of this world I have to carry.
I just want to say, or I must say, because it was never a choice I made, it was the will of the fates. I love you more than I knew I could love anything. I love that it is your thoughts in my head, your words that I speak, your name on my lips. For you I find strength to do anything. And I will do anything just to show you how much you are loved. You are my dragonfly, the rising sun after a cold night. I'll be the biggest fool in the world, and be happy, because I am your fool. I hope these words reach you and give you peace. You should know how much you are loved.
Until I am holding you in my arms, I hold you in my dreams

Yours eternally
- Torin

I dreamt of you
Without falling asleep
As strange as that may seem
In fact
I dreamt of you
As only I could dream
While being awake

I decided to ride the slide sideways

Letting my feet hang over

And one edge guide my neck

I went straight down for a second or two

But with my eyes to sky
I didn't worry

Rather, I just enjoyed the view

Here in the desert
it's been raining
on and off
            for days
making the succulents and cacti
glisten with wetness
their thick skin sparkles
and catches nature's ironic eye
flowers and plants shine
so much better in the half-grey
Here in the prehistoric depths
Of rocky whitewash and silt
             flash floods rush through
flushing out all guilt
         And inside
a raging storm commences
and I feel so blessed
to be a part of this celebration
my lungs expanding in my chest
I breathe in deep
that fresh purity of air
let it cleanse right through me
from my toes up to my hair
It rushes in my body
taking no prisoners in its force
flows through every vein
cleansing poisons in its course
its power flows into me
washing out this stubborn pain
Turning the confusion
                     into clarity again
From inside subconscious thoughts
           realization thunders
rinsing from my mind
                 the emotional strain
and replacing it with euphoric wonders
Come, my raging desert tempest
Bathe me
       penetrate me with wet
restore and purify
my being
take over and disinfect
let me feel my own strength
until it pours out from my cells
into the space inside my heart
where love and lust still dwell
My tears mingle with the sweet drops
                as I fling arms open to the sky
releasing strikes of lightening
for every word I cry
as I summon, pray for lightness
mixed with the sturdiness of earth
Let joy rise up and bubble
within my being
as rebirth