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Sam Sep 2017
look out your window
the stars twinkle in the darkness, shining over the quiet night
i love you more than there are stars in the sky
the grass begins to sway in the little "wooshes" of the wind
there must be at least a million little blades of grass out there
and i love you more than that
the colors of the trees begin to change, giving beautiful hues of red, gold and orange
i love you more than the amount of leaves that will fall this autumn
my everything
my world
i love you
Sam Jul 2017
Congratulations,* I whisper,
feeling myself sink in my chair
further down, hoping nobody will notice.
My heart is pounding,
pumping the terrors
that run through my veins.
I don't necessarily understand,
though I know **** well
what's ahead of me.
Good Luck, is whispered back,
answering my acclaim.
*You'll need it.
  Jun 2017 Sam
Amethyst Fyre
I had to write this in case I die
And they go through my accounts, find my poems
I had to make sure they know that, despite what they read

I could never **** myself

I loved you all too much, I had too many plans
It's just that, I really wanted to sometimes, you know?
I saw too much reality in life
I saw all the endless ways I could die and it scared me

And I'm sorry Mom, that I never told you any of this
It's funny that, in your own way, you knew how this was going to play out
You were always afraid I'd be like Dad, never asking for help when I needed it the most
But I was going to, I swear
I was going to fix this, as soon as I went away to school
I just couldn't have you know this side of me
I loved you too much for that

And to the people who did know this side of me
I'm sorry too
For the moment when they first break the news that
"Rachel's dead"
And you think I really did **** myself and that you couldn't save me
The taste of relief bittersweet on your tongue when they tell you how it really happened

Just know that I wanted to make the world a better place
I never thought I was enough to do that, but I was trying
Every day, I got up and stuck a smile on my face
Even when I was hurting so badly that I wanted to **** myself

So please, all I ask is
Don't console yourself by thinking I'm in a better place
Every day, no matter how much it hurt, I chose life.

And so, on the off chance that I die tomorrow, or the next day or the next, I just had to get this out there.

My choice was always life.
It was always all of you.

With all my love and the final beatings of my heart,
Sam Jul 2017
I've forgotten how to write
the words
they used to flow onto my paper
one by one, they'd complete my work
full emerson into the world of poetry
no distractions
no drawbacks
just the purity, the innocence
of poetry
Little over a year ago I began my poetry journey
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