a separate life
that can be controlled
to relieve the stress
happiness stole
poke it with a pin
grimly smile and then
simply say*
this is your end

..
..
..
..
..

I'm getting lost
in the hopes
they won't find me




X A
12:39
11/3/16

I was going through my clothes
and I suddenly realized
just how much an object
can invoke memories
when I came across my  plaid shirt
with white buttons
that I wore the first time
I went to my therapist  
then later I got my love swallowed up
by a complete stranger
at the state park
that I met on Facebook
on your time
oddly enough, the thing
I remember most vividly
was the scenery
and the warm breeze
on the riverbank
before that it was
my favorite shirt



VII B

11/2/16 22:06

I hate to see the sun rise anymore
because when it does, so does my Dad
I barely have time to get a cup of coffee

and then i'm on the move
all **** day, or otherwise on call
for whatever crazy **** pops in his head

and nothing I do is ever good enough

doesn't make a **** what I do
just because I don't do it the way he would
it's always wrong somehow

but by midnight he's in bed
and I can finally focus on something
without my brain getting all scrambled

I am at peace

my phone stops buzzing, too
I don't have to worry
about phone calls and visitors

I can charge my batteries

I can just be "me"
and after a day like today
it couldn't come too soon

20

VII D

11/2/16
22:20

oh the sun; when it rises
painting the sky in beautiful surprises.

oh the sun; mid day
warm rays beaming in a really too hot way.

oh the sun; coming upon night
this is when we say goodbye to the sun's too bright light.

Here in this place where I once played,
midst memories now cast aside
The clouds my worthless life has made,
rain down in teardrops I have cried

.

.

.

.

I'm going to do some traveling

but I won't get too far

I've got an ounce of madness, and

an Epiphone guitar


3 20s in my wallet, so

it won't be long, you see

and I feel like I need someone

to come along with me



so come with me into the waters

I need some company

we'll cast this heavy world aside

and float on apathy



so follow close, don't lose your step

I think I have a plan

we do this right and things

will never hurt the same again