She blew smoke out of the corner of her mouth
And I loved her more every time she did it
Feet beat rhythm, rhythm
On the pavement cracked and stained

Lines never looked so smooth
As they did to either side of her
In dead spaces, all, lit bleak

"It gets the taste out better, water
Better than gin, I don't know why."

My heart screams curses
Running on ***** Camels, running
Shaking pulsing, kicking, dry

"Takes two Spirits to get like this
Two ******* Spirits, waste," I spit

Spit hits the ground in fat rain drops,
"Why smoke if you can't stand the taste?" she breathes, so slow

Why smoke at all? For the health of it?
I smoke for you, my love
All jacked up on cigarettes for you
Don't question it, don't inquire.

She blew smoke out of the corner of her mouth
Cancerous, our hearts beat low.

i need to start falling in love
less often.
stop idolizing every brave girl
who shows me the part of her skin
that rarely sees the sun &
waits patiently for my response………..
…..& i always inflate her ego
like a carnival balloon,
& in the coming weeks
i twist it into different animals.
a lion when i'm lonely,
a mouse to mimic misery,
but one day when i'm twisting up
the closed fists of some
metaphor of a memory
it pops & she's suddenly aware
of the clown.

but love is a dish best served
not at all.
skip the meal
& lose the weight of love
& the world seems so much bigger
& instantly you fit into places
you had never even tried before.
the feet that used to make those
distinct etchings in mud
like a tiny topographical map,
hauling that love around
like a bowling ball in a backpack,
those feet don't even touch the trees anymore
& the clouds envy your freedom
as they whisper pick up lines to the moon.

smiles fade
into empty couch
cushions
late nights
talking about
the future
reduced to
the idea
that change
is only
natural
gum wrappers
litter the floor

     "would you like
      a piece?"

perhaps
but offers
made on winter
nights hold
no
relevance
now the sun
exists
burning my eyes
as I roll off
the couch
the impression
of that
emptiness
clinging to
half of
my face

Mistakes rest on my collarbones
William Burroughs knocks on my chest and listens to the echoes

Catch my breath and weigh the possibilities

Navigating the side streets
we drink tequila from a tea *** while the bowl moves counterclockwise

Tuck my friendships back into pockets and carry them like loose change.
Take a penny, leave a penny
Just don't leave me lonely.

I lay in your front yard with my mouth wide open
I capture the songs of the day so we can share them in the moon light

You simply go through the motions
your mind full of figures,
while I think about thinking
                                               of thinking
                                                        ­          of thinking
                                                        ­                             a thought.

I fumble through life, my shoe laces tied together
You laugh into our kiss and call me useless

So please,
use less of me.

Tears are flowing like the riverside
we're sitting by. I won't ask why
but I'll dry your eyes tonight.

I'll stay with you 'till
the day breaks.
This is honey for
your heartache.

I won't hate you
for your mistakes.
This is honey for
your heartache.

Face is glowing, all starry eyed,
bluer than sky. I know that I
don't want to see you cry tonight.

I'll run with you
when you can't wait.
This is honey for
your heartache.

I'll stay with you 'till
the sun breaks.
This is honey for
your heartache.

i rope in your lungs
with my fingers,
there is a space
between your bones
and i want to fill it,
pouring in the lines
they told me
before they left me,
one by one,
leaving you
to carry me home

your fingertips,
they are riverbeds --
they are waiting
for the moment
when i can grow gills
and swim with the words
that crowd inside your chest
when you can't find
the right ones
to say

there are stars
tattooed onto the underside
of your stomach, there are
tiny planets swimming
in your blood stream
that i wish i could
dance my fingers through
just to remind you
that there are heavens
stirring in your heart,

this heart,
it chokes with shadow
some nights, but there is
a beacon shining in your bed
that i can't wait to discover,
submerged in the wreckage
our bodies left behind

and someday,
let me stir clouds
into your eardrums
let me breathe life
into the caverns
you've forgotten existed
let me fill your skull
with salmon finding
their way upstream,

you found your way
through the stream
that flows in my wrists,
you kissed the reeds
growing in my blood cells,
and one night, you held
my jaw together
as the sickness threatened
to break through it --
you always knew

how to unlock
the fastenings
in my vertebrae,
the ones who beg
to pull me down.

if somehow
the darkness
in my throat
began to spread,
i know
you would be the first one
pleading
to be dragged
along
with it.

My love;
Do I dare drop another shrouded truth upon your eardrum...?
I left another footprint today, you know
...but those granules of concrete are still hollow,
still quiet;

I've hidden behind your golden dreadlocks too often,
and heard your contemptuous laughter echo,
the crooked whistle of another gunshot
piercing the silence, and a silhouette
-of course

....yet I can't let go.

You're so young, I tell myself;
Your bedsheets are still crisp, still odorless;
...this sleep does not trouble you, does it?
-with her kissing nightmares.

And I dread my toes slipping-into that cadencing abyss,
...the scattered doom of my growing death wish;
there's no one to hold me,
but you.

The pillowcases still hiss...
their fingers clench my hair, often;
and threads tie me to a new paranoia
every night.

And I know
these windows aren't clean
...they disgust me;
yet they're my only source of light,
and I choose to compromise;

It's left me with nothing,
but your rusted blood on my tongue
and these shadows formed on the wall,
by your electric blue flesh...

I'm tired, dearest
...your fumbling silence hurts me-
maybe another drop of ******,
will bring you back to life.