I wonder what it would be like to not leave a note
And have you piece me together
And if I could watch you do it I wonder what you would say
Would you paint me in warm colors, always happy, always caring, never selfish?
Or would you speak to me in hatred through the thin fabric of life and death that we so willfully hang upon
Would those selfish emotions absorb you like they did me
Would you hate me more than I hate myself
Because you loved me for you or because you loved me for me
I don't know if either is better

I'm not always happy, I don't always care, and I am selfish
You don't know me, I dont think you ever will
And I don't want you to, I am evil
I am cynical, I am angry, I am the opposite of empathy
And I think under all that ******* you are too

Maybe it'd be a good lesson for you to see me drift into a quantum fluff
And become all the blips that crowd your radar with existential superstition
And I hope that it's quick, I don't want to see anything flash in front of my eyes
I do not want to see my life pass me by
I don't even want to say goodbye
I just want to be.. No thing.

Where do I seek when all of my friends are antiques
Crooked in the face, a little oblique
The Human Condition is a special boutique
Riddle in with cash for souls
Anything to fill the hole they could not
Buy them out just to watch them rot
You'll see their lives more complex then once thought

There's a board game for those like us
Rolling die and choosing cards
It's much like Russian roulette, but with car crashes and house fires
For some the game may end in a pyre

But if you win you still don't win
You just play the game till your bones melt through your wrinkly old ******* skin
But if you sin enough, you may make the wall of no return, just like the rest of my friends

I cannot conceive of not being
Therefore I cannot die

Go to church to ripen your life
You’re layered like an onion, hard to get past the tusk
You’re riding in the back of my hearse
On a bed of colloquial sins
Let me ask, does it hurt your back?

Let’s open the book and contradict
Get through a few pages, this books a bit thick
Pick out a few verses that I’d like to call my favorites
We could sit there all day, we could politik
You could become my favorite little hypocrite

We could take the definition of love verbatim
We could boast, keep a record of wrongs
I could preserve you in the carbon chamber of my mind
If love never fails, then love is never patient nor kind
Ball and chain I will bind every loose end I can find

Kneel your head, darling, at the call of a pew
Have you prayed today? You’re looking a bit gray
Your skin is thick like a damp haystack at the end of May
You’re here to stay with me, I will undertake all the pain for God's sake
Mumble my vows while you sleep next to me
Thread the needle when your falling part
Sew you up like my own work of art

You’ll be my masterpiece, and I’ll be your master, and you’ll find me some peace
I will be the only one to awe at your greasy hair and your cold dead feet
And we can take back that one time you wore a white dress at the courthouse
And all the times before that, that my hands snuck under your blouse
I’ll be ****** if I do, I’ll be ****** if I don’t
What’s said is done, I found this book too late to make it count

I remember speaking to the child on the corner of Robusto and Jane
Who I gave a quarter just to give her her way
She was so easy to please with her parking meter brain
Something as simple as that can either ruin or make your day

If we all came out of an egg would the question beg a God who cared
To give you such a soft shell and such a cynical stare
We come in scared and we leave impaired
Torn from womb and put underground only to be the remains of something of someone, from somewhere

We will be relics, and not the kind behind museum glass
Just little pieces of paper on the walls of others who soon too will pass
And the little girl so pleased with donations
Will soon be reaped of her tumultuous temptations
When her ironclad youth is misled by its sail