I rushed to write a letter
Emotions rising inside of me
I remembered your words
The way they lifted me and saw me
And so I rushed
Pen to paper
Rolled it up
So that my words are no longer seen
Tied and bottled
I gather my strength and throw it into the sea

You were always way out of reach.
But now this sea that sits between us seems endless
The sea sweeping and returning
My words back to me with the tide
I return to read over my words once again
Foam rushing around my legs as I sit
Reading over my letter once again
Unheard unread
Can't help but rewrite a copy for myself
Because even if you never see my words
I'll know what I wrote for you
Know what these feelings are

Without a second glance,
Every step pops.
The rationale of my brain,
Every day hops,
Between the steps that I take,
Drops cling to me,
Before they evaporate.

As the steam of those drops evaporate,
I gaze up at them til they are no more,
No longer in my field of vision.
Pop
Foot down, gaze down;
At the floor beneath my foot.
My mind stops,
Waiting,
For drops that'll settle on my arm once again.

Rock the boat,
  I'm fine
Little waves won't hurt me.

Rock the boat
    I'm fine;
What are a few more,
  I can handle it.

Rock the boat
       I'm fine
   I'm fine...
I can handle it

Rocking
    rocking
   rocking
         rocking
      To and fro
                Overflow-
                      Underwater,­ can't breathe--
               Overhauled, overstretched
             Inhale
          Deep breath
I'm fine...

Be nothing
Feel nothing
Hear nothing
See nothing
Static
Cut.

The hurt will never die
Rather, just temporarily put off
Whether forgotten
Or numbed,
And in the presence
Of remembrance
And vulnerability
How could one's entity
Fathom experiencing anything
But heart ache
As vivid as yesterday,
Last month
Last year
A lifetimes worth of
Sorrow,
Betrayal,
Hurt and
Withdrawal...
How could one's soul
Forget the pain?

Angry distasteful stare
Eyes squinted, affronted glare
Dismissive
In all her care, uncaring
Unwanting of any responsibility
Associated with falsehood
'You're unreasonable'
Emanates without being spoken

How can you begin to even think for yourself
Think of the validity of your perspective
When you're caught overwhelmed and mocked
Belittled in what you think is fair
And I'm stuck with that stare
And you without a care

Drawn out silence
The seeker and the sought
What would the power imbalance have been
If the sought could only speak

It's overwhelming
To expect and expect
Only to receive silence
Deemed unworthy of attention
Unworthy of acknowledgement

Silence
What would the conversation have been
Had there been even a single word
Uttered
In response
But silence
And a refusal to reciprocate
Such that should they eventually speak
Their words begin to take on that emptiness
And the void grows larger
And already
The upset begins to lose itself in an endless void
And you're stuck in place

How could you forget
When all around you is that silence, resounding
How could you forget
When all this time your ears desired, awaiting
A response they'd never have.