I stay awake
Thinking of one
While another sleeps

Longing to feel wanted
Wishing to be held once more
Wanting to remember
What it ment to be safe

I lay awake
Unable to sleep
Creating false realities
Just to help me feel

Perhaps another level
Or another page
Might help in this
Long night ahead

Which is which
So simple as a child
So difficult as a adult
Understanding the difference
between right and wrong

Is it right to look else where
Is it wrong to pursue passion
Is it right to learn how to persuade
Is it wrong to ask for help

So simple
So difficult
if only I knew
which is right and which is wrong
like I did as a child

Such a simple mind
such a simple time

My first kiss
My first friend
My first shoulder to cry on
My first support
My first love

But life is a cruel thing
Taking him so young
Leaving a stone and flag
I cried for years
Our son trying his best to support me
But how can a child help the parent

So much pain
So much fear
And I never wanted to forgive him
He didn't have to leave
He could have stayed
Stayed with us
Watch his son grow

But I guess remembering you
Is better then having you hear
Despite my longing for you
Craving your touch once more
We found happiness in the pain

We still visit you
Still loop you in when something happens
Leave you a seat at events
Like his band concert last fall

I think we're finally finding that happiness again
We can never replace you
Nor do we try
But we are getter better
One day at a time

Just push a little bit harder
Just stay a little bit longer
Just work a little bit harder
Just breathe a little bit deeper

Just sit for a little bit longer
Just stay still for a little bit more
Calm your nerves
Get ready for the push

Just a little bit now
Just wait
till the gates open
and the trumpet calls

One, two, three
NOW
run, run fast and run hard
Run like your life is on the line
Just a little bit more
Just last a little bit more

because of you
when feel defeat  
i now bleed black ink