You are black and I am white
We don't look the same
But we are both humans
Just by being human, you deserve everything I have

I shouldn't be privileged
But I am
I wish I could change the World
But one thing I can do
Is to never think or behave like those monsters

You are amazing, beautiful, intelligent and brave, so brave
To live your life, I could never understand
But I can try

You deserve to live, to create, to love
Not to die
Especially from the knee of a white man

Fight for yourself, never give up
Shine among those ignorant minds
Show them that you are above them
And you will prove who you are

You built that country, and if you have to destroy it to change those ignorant minds
Go ahead and do that

I'm trully sorry

Inhale.
Hold it. Feel it. It hurts. Just don’t cry.
Exhale.
Smile. Do your job. Go home.
Inhale.
Crying. The chest hurts. Muscles clenching.
Exhale.
You are fine. You are human. You are flying.
Inhale.
I am falling. Dark. Emotions took over.
Exhale.
Light. See your friends. Smile. Life is good.
Inhale.
I am alone. Numbness. Lips shaking.
Exhale.
Just like breathing, my life goes in both directions.
Which one will be definite?
I don’t know. I don’t want to know.

If I die today.
Would I be alive tomorrow?
In minds. Of those who loved me.
Or would I be buried under the ground like my body?

If I die today.
Will the whole world stop spinning 'round?
Or not. Like nothing ever happened at all.
Just another body buried under the ground.

What I've done, and people I've faced,
would it matter, or go unnoticed?
Would it leave a footprint of someone important and kind?
Or just a faded memory in a corner of some nobody's mind.

If I die today.
Would I be alive tomorrow?
In minds. Of those who loved me.
Or would I be buried under the ground like my body?

If I die today.
Will the whole world stop spinning 'round?
Or not. Like nothing ever happened at all.
Just another body buried under the ground.

Wind will blow, and rain will fall,
but will the Sun still be shining over everything I've done?
No one knows, and no one wonders.
No one, but me and my troubled mind.

Constant thinking and overanalyzing has got me so far,
but when you see me
my smile is consantly on.

You see, life is tough and everyone is acting...
As if everything's fine and merry!
But, when you see me, all smiling and gleeful...
Know that I'm thinking:

If I die today...
Would I be alive tomorrow?
In minds. Of those who loved me.
Or... would I be buried under the ground like my body?

If I die today.
Will the whole world stop spinning 'round?
Or not. Like nothing ever happened at all.
...just another body buried. under. the ground.

My wings are broken
And I keep falling down
So much to say but no word coming out of my mouth
Can't keep up with this weather
Maybe I should fly south

Feathers on the ground
Wounded and broken, clouds are
so far away
I can se the Sun, yellow and gleaming
Free as a bird in it's literal meaning

Breath goes in.
Breath goes out.
Does the air inside my lungs make me alive?

Here I am. Sitting on my couch.
Thinking if I truly am. Alive.

Is this a dream? Should I pinch myself.
Just to feel something.
Another breath goes in.
But this time I hold it a bit longer.
I can hear my heart beating so loud.
But not louder than my thoughts.

Should I listen to my heart or my mind?

I lit a cigarette.
Bright orange, red and smoke I see.
Poison goes in.
And I feel more alive!
As smoke, my thoughts are vague.
The flame is coming closer to my fingers.
I feel warmth!
Flame goes out.
So do I.

Just like a magnifying glass,
I can see everything clearly.
But you don’t!
Lay me on the forest ground, facing directly into the sun,
So I can burn this forest I call “my love for you”.
And so I started a fire!
Nothing left, but smoke and burned emotions.
I have to learn how to stop loving you,
So give me a break and disappear!
Move away, so I can forget about you. Please!
You chose to stay, and the grass started to grow back, trees are recovering,
But my heart will break again!

I found myself in the great burrow of nothingness.
Shall I close my tear soaked, life absorbing matter I call my eyes?
It seams that time has forgotten me.
Ground is nothing but a surface holding me from falling further.

Where is the exit sign that has hope written within it's frame?
There is no exit sign!
Not in the shape I expected.
There is a hand. Hand that is wrenching it's skin and bones to give me some form of life.
That hand is more than any exit sign could have offered me.

That hand is love, life, family and closest friend your heart could desire.
So I grabbed that hand!
And the burrow of nothingness becomes the burrow of everything.

I felt each hair on my body moving,
As you walked by.
Didn’t know the air tastes so sweet,
As I took breath in.
I felt my pupils expanding,
My heart pumping blood through my veins.
My mind was empty.
As high as I can be,
But didn’t take anything.
And for a moment,
I felt like I was in heaven.
Why can’t this feeling last,
And why does it only exist in my imagination?
A troubled mind pushed me back to reality,
And I’m miserable again.
I need another dose, so I won’t become delirious.
I need the drug!
I need you,
Again!

There is one flower picked up from the Garden
You know what happened to him

He didn't even blossom
Didn't even taste the sweet rays of
the Sun
Wasn't even touched by the rain or blown by the wind

But you did.

Wasn't smelled or admired by others like You were
You planted him
You watered him
And You ended him

You were his mother Earth
But You didn't want him
Life ended before it began

There is one flower picked up from the Garden
And you know what happened to him

One room. Visible only to me.
It exist and it doesn't.
At the same time.
Two windows. Colored in brown.
Hundreds of tenants, but only one permanent.

You can't see it. But you've been there.
You come and go, but I can't leave.
It's the place of many dreams and many nightmares.

But don't worry. That's the way it's supposed to be. I have my room and you have yours. I don't know if I've ever been in yours but you've been in mine.

Wait! I can hear something. It sounds like me. What is he talking?

Oh, he is not talking.
That's just me.
Thinking.

11pm on a Saturday night
And my chest started to hurt
Because since 11am
I’m thinking bout my life and it’s dirt
Wanted to numb my pain
But got nothing to take
Thought ‘bout sun and rain and drowning in a lake.
Wait, Who has time for a ******* rhyme!
Oh silent death how tempting you sound!
Aren’t you thinking bout your fam? -stranger wondered.
Yes, I am, to much all the time! Thanks for asking!
But sorry dad and mom, sister and brothers
Your love is unconditional, but my heart needs love from my own soul
It hurts, breaths getting harder, mind playing deadly game.
Went to a job on a Sunday morning
Did ******* amazing! Should feel proud.
Those people drained my living essence
Helped them all, and minute by minute I felt every drop of my blood flowing through my veins
I want to go home, be alone, cry alone, live alone, die alone! ****!
But here I am, writing these words
As if I will show it to anyone.
But it feels better…
6pm on a Monday afternoon
And my chest started to hurt again. God!
Wanted to numb my pain
But got nothing to take.
Getting high by my emotions,
And that’s enough,
At least for now.

The ground is shaking.
Buildings are falling apart.
People are running away.
But I am standing still
Got no one or nowhere to run to.
If the roof fall upon me,
would I feel pain or relief?

Scream and shout, but you’re not here.
Miles away, you are in you own sphere.
Pinch myself to feel some things!
But all I miss is what your presence brings.

Today I woke up with tears dried on my face.
Guess I was crying in my sleep, miss your warm embrace.

Your love ain’t real it never shows.
At least not to me, lord only knows.
I wish I have told you what my heart felt,
But our love is forbidden like me in a bible belt.

Pictured us loving on a sunny day.
But those pictures could never exist.
Cause your straight, and
I’m gay.

Painted my walls in bright white
"They are immaculate", they said
So clean and fresh
"I wish mine walls look like that", they said

I was happy, but only for a brief moment
Yes, my walls are all white and clean
But what's hiding underneath that white layer?
No one wonders, no one cares.