******* hollow feeling lump in chest
tired of the dead man dead feeling
you feel it behind the eyes too
like looking through people to their souls but actually since the soul is nothing
it's right on through
like everyone is a single atom thick

best days better left behind bereft of joy
fighting in vain for fleeting fulfillment
instead seeping bile from punctured
***** appendix found septic too late
even still now hungry for real life like
stomach tapeworm eating purpose
lost along the way now empty, grey
when did time get away from us all
leaving bitter little paisan us's
stripped bare of long dead dreams
like Christmas morning c-section strippers
five dollar bills stuffed in withered *****

I see you upside down lying on great
High captain's house ceilings circa 1920
Strange babe you look down on me smiling
Quell my desire like what snowy night
Bus ride did I take to some bleary eyed
Character now too long dead like those
Cold empty nights we used to meet
Walking back alone long miles
Thru bitter wind east coast wind
Thru bitter east coast powder
How sad he seemed then as if he knew
And I knew  too but really knowing does
No good except through our brief
Shared solidarity experience not alone
That same look I now see on yr. twisted
                               Head

So I guess we know now too that really
I don't care for you and you don't love me
Tho we feel like this our last chance
What more chance left our tattered souls
               (If you believe in that kind)

Why speak words no words to wax
I pack up few paltry possessions
You keep old sea captain's house
Now ruined for me like pet geranium
Bloomd once then died from neglect hiddn
I cried 'why did my otter die
                     Why do they do that

I find one bedroom flat
Look over city lights holding cheap beer
Quiet dread you can smell like pheromones
Here staring walls eternity sleep
Cold drafts in bones
                Tho windows sealed shut

tonight I sleep the second most happy Newfoundlander
sleep in all of Ontario, right after the man whom I met tonight at random, who done grew up in Brigus like ol'father
and did know and respect gone good ol'grandfather who I only met perhaps as bundled babe cradled in-arm old pictures of him

warm and fuzzy like a big blanket
all draped like a Newfoundland flag
over homespun homesick ** Chi Minh
shoulders, shell shocked soul soldier
mmm '** yes 'tis truly the seed of Morpheus
lo good old blowhard old god of dreams
tho I sleep not
thru barely eye opened
lucid reverie

all chumps and chimpanzees gathered
round the fire roasting rotten meat
we are our ancestors no new species
evolutionary hubris we still drag
clubbed mongoloid feet
bashing out sabre tooth wisdom
on rocks in our pathetic
primordial little caves
hidden in these layers of abstraction
the alpha males still ****** the world
but now with bombs and jet planes
banks and bankers and atms and credit
thinking why bother but to get ******
i take tiger over sniveling banker or
manager who wont hire for
i lick not his bootheels
nor crawl up his
gaping ***
wound