So I sat there crying crippled defeated.
And remembered your smile.
Confident childish and undefeated.
I love you.

Sometimes I get into this lyfe style. A lyfe style of remorse for feeling bad for myself. A lyfe style of projecting my loneliness on others and trying to title a book titled "The times I've broken my heart". And that's just the start of the story.

 It seems I was walking home one day and the oncoming traffic of the overhead displayed a sign that read "You've caught feelings today" my love was expressed through the form of tears. Or "white lies" I guess you could say because my tears are invisible to others and they're lies disguised till this day like the dust bunnies you sweep under a rug. And I know I messed up by talking to you so much. Because that was my first mistake. Getting attached is the quickest way to getting heartbreak. But to me its something more.

 You see I'm a mold of clay passed around for the whole elementary class to see. Some people jam their fingers in me and others mold me completely differently until no one can even realize I'm playdough so instead I'm just tossed away.

Or an even better one. We'll start with the cliche "I'm a towel put out to dry" but my owner never returned so instead my skin just bleached in the winter and I withered away into a line cloth that eventually floated a stray... Or maybe I was swallowed up by the lies of others who told me I was something more than an eroded piece of ripped line cloth clay.

Whatever the matter I'm an endangered endangerment to myself. I'm not suicidal but my thoughts tell me otherwise. Have you ever looked in a mirror and seen you're two bad sides holding each others hands? Singing lullaby's about how you're lyfes demands are mediocre and no were near ideal. You're a joke to the joker and even worse you're a joke to the ones around you who only see your smile.

 Because they don't even know who you truly are. Maybe if you put away the childish dreams of falling in love and picked up an adult magazine to hide forever any sort of horseplay that comes along with being alone, and being so weak to love.

And maybe that's just it. I'm to weak for love but, I'm to weak to be loved. So maybe my fake strength can offer me an attribute to this loneliness. Or maybe I'll just make a new title and call it "Moving on and moving away"

Its just I easily succumb to the idea of love. And it seems everyone around me doesn't feel the same. So I guess I'll just remain here as dried up shriveled line cloth clay.

You wanted a poem. Well fine I've beaten one with my ****** hands to help you pass the time.
You're so interested in me and its filled with naïvity a young blossom such as yourself should realize love comes with bad health.
I'm more mature and it conflicts with your ambiguous nature.
You disgust me by being so childishly selfishly manalady. You're a degenerate calamity unraveling my sanity and joyful lust to be adventurous at meeting new people, your evil two headed twin hides inside your skin and she's calling out to me!
"She's a lier" one says "she's your future" says the other are there no more clear signs to discover, my unrequited mysterious ambiguous naïve lover.
I'm giving up on you so here's that poem.                                              
You've been dying to have more than you'll ever want me.

SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF LOVING ME? Can someone that beautiful be that blind? What fluent frequency of antiquities ties both hands behind your back as you yell overboard and collide with the concrete at full impact? Does demoralizing yourself help cope with the rope tied around your hope as you stick one leg out and wish a knight in shimmering black armor strings you along. Like you're his new play thing and nothing is wrong. How does my well being take sides with yours? You and your infinitely closed tiny doors that lead to a huge ocean that's filled with blood as your heart is beating. And I've begun to leave your lyfe I salute you good bye. And maybe you'll see me when you actually want to try for something we can hold high and brag to everyone else about being happy. Its sappy I know and this po- em is me connecting your dots or at Least the bread comes I thought you left behind. Because even jack and Jill shared a crime. After all killing a witch is no innocent gesture to pressure and jester about so lightly so why do we re-read a child's book to our young ones about how any form of dying is a fun one.

You're my bedtime story I keep by the stand. You're my bedtime story that built the confidence of the man I am. You're my bedtime story! So why won't you sing me to sleep? Because you're devils have crawled in to deep.

For my words would plunder with joyance if you're gloom wasn't the cloud that fed my imagination of what a good person should be. Your oppressive pessimistic contouring lies feed my brain until the water in my eyes drips onto the floor reminding  me that I am no more. No more than that of a snow sprinkle that tickled your nose. But at least that snow sprinkled made you laugh even For a fraction of a second because I know although we had our fights. I could never tear a whole in your heart. When all I did was fool around from the start.

You're so ******* beautiful. I just wish I could tell you when your talking. But I wouldn't wanna let you know I'm missing a couple of words you're saying in between cause I'm to busy staring at you.

I've got to start using my heart.
I've got to stop seeing with my mind,
And believing my wild accusations.
I'm pointing fingers with 4 fingers pointed back at me.
I'm blamimg people who only have love for me.
Who only see the good in me just to prove them wrong the next day.
Before I thought it was the winter that was making me cold but I didn't realize my heart was only freezing because I stopped using it.
And because of that I've frozen the only rose that bloomed even through the harsh weather.
All I do is blame others for the frost bite growing in my soul.
I never let them in to at least start the furnace etched into the hotel rooms they've etched into my heart.
And for that I'm sorry my beautiful rose.
I wish I could be the one to watch you bloom again.

Here's a cute poem for a cute girl.
Her names Demi and she's my god.
She's beautiful and funny but cold to the touch.
She's an icicle melting and I'm a friend who comes in clutch.
She's beautiful and I'd wish she'd see it sooner.
Cause there's to many loseres begging for her attention.
And it ****** me off how some of them are so possessive.
Reminds me of my bad luck striking black coal.
The only gold,
I've come across comes in the form of my beautiful friends.
And the only diamonds I've struck comes in the form of our trust.
I love you demi you're a great person.
Just do us both a favor and make amends with,
The demons you see every now and then.
Cause your my god and I know you're stronger then them.

I can't get you out of my head.
And no that's not a means to an end.
Its the start of a braceful beginning.
Or an irrotational sense of my state of mind which is questionable around this time.


3:52 and I'm still thinking of you.
If love is defined as constantly admiring anothers lyfe and worrying about their well being then why can't I call my feeling for you love?
Is it because you won't let me?
It seems the closer I strive the further I get pushed away.
It's like swimming to shore feeling you're almost there only to notice the waves swept you to a perilous trench,
Coated in black ink.
But no matter how many times I'm swept away by that tidal wave it never discourages me.
Because only I see that beautiful weeping mermaid alone on her glistening island of black ink.
Just let me wash it off.
And together we'll live in your treasure.


And darling we might not be pirates
But we might be peasants.
And I may not bare any sort of sensational fruit.
But I bare presents.
In the form of my love.
The strongest communication I can join your communion of common relation.
And together we'll strive for that feeling of common knowledge and shared intentions.
Common strife and shared dimensions.
Because we may not be peasants for much longer.
We've been plungering and sailing this ship of love long enough.
That I'm sure we're pirates with greedy ambitions.
And tedious repetition of unknown religions.
And one day we'll be rich off of this boat we've made from out love.
And one day we can stop sailing and settle down.
But until that day.
Our love is yet to be found.
So let's stop waiting around,
And set sail.

You wanted a poem. Well fine I've beaten one with my ****** hands to help you pass the time.
You're so interested in me and its filled with naïvity a young blossom such as yourself should realize love comes with bad health.
I'm more mature and it conflicts with your ambiguous nature.
You disgust me by being so childishly selfishly manalady. You're a degenerate calamity unraveling my sanity and joyful lust to be adventurous at meeting new people, your evil two headed twin hides inside your skin and she's calling out to me!
"She's a lier" one says "she's your future" says the other are there no more clear signs to discover, my unrequited mysterious ambiguous naïve lover.
I'm giving up on you so here's that poem.
You've been dying to have more than you'll ever want me.

My sister once told me that I get way to attached way to easily. That my feelings get the better of me and my emotions control me. That no matter how many walls I build to keep contained the brittle gentle flame of my youth. The sadder the reflection of my frame takes the bitterness of my soul away to play a game making me wonder if I even know me anymore? The bodies buried, mangled and contorted. Like the demons who fought and crought and stick and stay and say PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T LEAVE OUR PRESENCE WE LOVE YOU TO MUCH TO MAKE AMENDS WITH THE PEOPLE WE'VE BURIED IN YOUR HEAD. The people who didn't deserve such distasteful discipline. The people who wanted to help you BUT WE PUSHED THEM AWAY because you only need us. And forever we'll make sure you stay. So don't ever again tell us how to do our job. Because as long as you live you're heart will always fog. And create misty air to confuse your mind. From truly seeing free from the desolate time. So take your brittle delicate self and move it somewhere else FOR I HAVE NO TIME TO DEAL WITH A DISOBEDIENT IMMORAL  SELF INFLICTING CHILD. WHO'S EYES GROW SORE DUE TO HIS OWN MILD. EAGERNESS TO LOVE AND LOVE AGAIN. TO LOVE AND LOVE AGAIN. TO LOVE AND LOVE AND LOVE AGAIN AND AGAIN. Quit letting yourself be fooled. I won't always be here. To take the blame for you. I won't always be here to push away. And if not for me you wouldn't be sane. Sure I'm your demons living in dark voidless hollow caves. But I'm also your conscious that takes all the blame. And when I'm gone. Who will help you keep sane? Maybe the loved one, so never let true love fade away. Not today or tomorrow. Nevermore be afraid. I love you but I can't stay. My sister once told me that I get way to attached way to easily. That my feelings get the better off me and my emotions control me. So I told her, oh yeah? Tell me a different story. Because I already know how this one goes. How it plays out and holds how my self contemptuous thoughts reallocate configurative  degeneration to demesmerize my surrounding location and fill a hole for joyance love to live. So maybe you're the bitter one and I'm too sweet.

I looked at her and she looked at me.
I, smiling so happily.
She laughed cause you could see the expression on my face.
Clear as day white as snow and just her taste.
The show went on and we held hands.
Screamed **** YEAH like it was our initial plan.
To have fun and enjoy this show put on by many.
However I lost her shortly after because I didn't have any,
Words that followed up "My name is Christian."
She gave me a tight hug and exclaimed in frivolous joy "My names Sidney!"

She was so gorgeous
I couldn't make out the words that left her luscious lips.
And it wasn't because of the ignorant audio that already dulled out my senses.
This girl was every word that describes beautiful.
This girl was every word that describes that feeling you get when you drink a glass of water after a hot summer day.
Refreshing.
Refreshing in the sense that she cleared my head with the words she spoke.
My mindlesness lead with a chuckle and a slight nod signifying that I heard her when in reality I hadn't.
My nod only meant I understand you're perfect in my eyes.
And maybe an understanding nod was every word she wanted to hear.

Hey beautiful.

Whoever you are my heart belongs with you.
I'm sorry I'm numb now.
I didn't mean to it just seems life's given me no other option.
I know your smiles out there I've seen it a thousand times
And a thousand more times I'll see it again.
But when is it truly yours?
When will you ever return that feeling of love to me?
Of lost love.
True lost at sea.
My true love return to me.
Before I die wasting away to this rotting world feeding me.

There was a taste on my tongue
There was a rise in my gut
There was a scent in the air
There was a goodbye I missed somewhere
But from who?
Has it been that long?
I loved you whoever you were.
Come back because lately I've forgot.
What's it's like to be me...

Who was it?
There was someone always here...
I forgot them again...
I've been so focused on myself.
I've been so self centered and egotistical.
I forgot your name.
I know I love you.
I know I miss you.
But that's all I can remember?
I hate this feeling.
I know you were with me through everything...
But now you're gone again..
I've forgotten you.

Love come back.

I'm not going to even try.



    -David Leviathan(The Lovers Dictionary)

Am I so disgusting that you can't bare the sight of me?
Does the validation of who I am not check out with the expiration date on my stamp?
Because I don't understand.
What about me makes you say no?
I'm shriveled I'm beaten I'm torn I'm ripped shredded grinded into dust.
I'm disgusting look at my lust!
IT FOLLOWS ME
I'm so blind.
I'm so emotional.
I'm so blind.
What am I that makes you say no?
What am I that even when you recognize the way I look at you,
With such precious precise precision,
It kills you to love me back the same?
I'm a monster and I don't know what's wrong.
But I've had this curse.
For to long.

I like poetry that's what I told her that's what I told him that's what I tell everyone it's what I live by its what I'm greeted by  but it's also what nobody sees sure I'm a poet but what does that mean?

I'm not trying to hate you but I wish that this would all just go away floating too much in the air and stirring around messing up my hair it's ******* with reality and time so you been messing with the way I look at the floor when I look at the walls I see demons crawling from the creeks and the cracks and they're not yours but they're mine and they're coming back this time it's different I don't think I can stop them they're consuming me but that's okay I guess to you it's not like you mattered from the beginning so I guess I'll just be consumed.

If I fall in love with you,
Will that be okay?
I think your heart is where I wanna stay.
I'll nuzzle inna cocoon and when I hatch my bad habits will flutter away.
Everything about me is incomplete.
So please be the one to help me rethink.
My lyfes goals and destination.
Your love will be my greatest elevation.
So let me fall in love with you
Because your love is all I want to consume.

So consume me.

See me the way I see you.
See me so I know at least something is true.
Because I'm tired of the lies.
And I'm tired of her eyes.
They pierce me and make me want to cry.
To drown out my emotion and maybe truly feel nothing.
I want to look in the mirror and see,
An empty motionless body.
Looking at me.
I'm already a ghost.
Just covered in decaying flesh.
I'm melting
My limbs are crawling
My heart,
What heart?
You've let me down again.
Seems like lyfe hates me,
To the bitter end...

Maybe I shouldn't be writing so much?
Its just another way to lose my touch.
In the feeling I want BURIED and gone.
To the memories I want KILLED and WRONGED.
I want to remember a void.
An empty play skape where all I did was toy.
With other people SO THEY'D SEE HOW I SUFFER.
Cause I'm tired of being the ONLY ONE.
Who's light hearted, dead inside,
And DEAD BY THE SUN.
Because darling you're the rays of blistering hope that pierce through the skin in my back.
Because darling you don't love me for me.
But how are you supposed to when I don't even know what love is to me?
And at this point I CAN'T tell.
And I CAN'T SMELL
And I can't SEE
Because darling...
There's something wrong with me.
Maybe the doctors missed it?
Or maybe my parents never brought it up?
But I was born without a soul.
Baptized in HELL and blistered when I reached THIS SO CALLED HEAVEN YOU CALL EARTH.
And maybe just maybe.
I should drift off to sleep.

Do I reply back?
Or do I let go?
Why are my emotions so out of control?
Why do I see ghosts every time something goes wrong?
Its like there's a sign singing me a song.
Its like there's an island out there,
Buried with treasure.
But I'll never find it.
Cause I'm buried in elusive pleasure.
I'm blinded by what I don't have.
Its like a mirage in the sad sand.
Its like dead birds plummeting to the ground.
The sad part is I can no longer hear the sound.
Of the music calling to me.
**** IM TRULY LOST AT SEA.
PLEASE OH PLEASE
SOMEONE HELP ME!
I HEAR THE SIRENS ECHO SOUND
THEY'RE ONLY GETTING CLOSER TO SHUT ME DOWN
TO SINK MY BOAT AND CRASH MY LYFE.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'VE DONE THIS TWICE.
TAKE THE DROWNING FEELING FROM MY HEAD.
AND SINK ME UNDER...
  
So I'm dead...

Things started out so simple.
Loves open heart was a window.
Of unexplored opportunities both humble and nimble.
I'm still young stupid and translucent.
To the eyes of the experienced I'm a nuisance.
A beginner hanging from the ropes.
Caught up in the high hopes.
Of the simple obvious oblivious obliquity, Of lyfes trajectory.
Falling from the sky,
Knowing I'll never reach this high,
Again.
Soon.
Maybe.
Later.
Loves equator.
Has made me sink.
So to the depths cheers.
I drink,
To you.

I wanted to call you and tell you thank for caring and thank you for being here for me and all these other thank you's for being the most open hearted beautiful person I've ever met.
But I didn't want to wake you up because it must be exhausting being perfect. And maybe we don't like the word perfect because its an over exaggeration of the human imagination but you're not someone I would've ever thought of meeting.
So in a way you're an over exaggeration of my own mind.
I want you here for a while. Cause maybe if I could be selfish that's what I'd wish for.

Goodnight, sweat dreams.

I'm moving away today and I'm not coming back.
For the people I love,
The people I live for,
And the people I've lost.
I'm saying goodbye severing my earthly tie.
No matter the denies,
I receive.
But if leaving was never my initial goal.
What pushes me?
The empty void that's sat here and toyed with the emotions I don't have.
I'm no longer annoyed by the simple tasks lyfe demands,
Because they're all the same to me.
Although I lack the necessary motivational pact to move on.
I'm moving away today,
And not coming back anyway.

I think I want to be with you.
I want to cherish the moments we have
Not that I already don't.
If I could allow myself one thing,
It'd be to fall into the deepest abyss of you.
I wouldn't be scared.
Even if that's some type of reassurance for my self conscious,
I wouldn't be scared.
This isn't a fairy tail,
But more like a brothers grim.
I'll get tangled in the captivating woods of your soul.
I'll be devoured by the bewitchment of our love.
If there is such a thing.
I'll let myself only be guided by the light of your sorrows.
Not because I hurt you,
But because I want to find what has hurt you and learn from it.
I can promise I'll  always abide by your side.
And reside by your pride.
I'll never be caught dead in some type of disguise.
Because you don't deserve that type of lie.
And you never have.
So let me fall into your depths of hell,
And I shall crawl out with you.
Let me sink to the icy depths of your frigid ocean.
And I will emerge breathe taken,
Not by the lack of oxygen I was unable to inhale,
But by the breathe taking opportunity I was forsaken with to prevail.
To emerge victorious with the beauty,
You call hell.



Its really heaven to me.

A continuous concord of concurring events.
Draining me of my relevant reoccurring drowsiness.
I wake up in the same bed,
Twisting and yearning for the day it'll all end.
Waiting for the repeat of this tremendous cycle that cyclones with no remorse for the living or dead.
But at least the deceased have a grave for them to rest.
Meanwhile I'm stuck here trying to live in my head.
I share a room with two voices both mutilated and demented from the cemented walls I've put up to defend.
Those who claim they know the secrets to an ally cats fight.
Will surely know the secrets to how I end my flight.
By derailing this inconclusive inconvenienced inclosable train.
To a sanctuary I can never find so instead I submerge in my pain.

I want to start this out by saying
What if I mess this up?
I've lost what made me so sane.
And my ties to this earth have left me.
At this point how can I even consider?
I've become so latin and so bitter.
I know she wants to see the good in me.
But I've been rotting in a shell for a thousand years.
So please just let this work.
Because I'm tired of the tears.

You wanna know me?
Well that's just great.
On second thought I think I'll stay here,
And emancipate.
From this cage filled so thick
With millions of lies that chose to be disguised as flying birds staring at the outside.
Wishing for escape.
Well lay that to rest my dearest
Because the way it's going right now,
You'll never be set free.

Honestly I wish I was the same.
Despite all our rough battles and loves bitter dismay.
I just may have forgotten who I am.
Just a former shell of the ghost hidden within.
I've become a monster.
Riddled with thick skin.

Possibilities.
Are endless they say.
But is that true with so little time waisting away?
I am not only words but also a man.
A man with so few expressions to feed life's demands.
How can I review such crucial day view?
When I am yet exploring the possibilities set by a few.

Fill... Fill... Set back... Fill...
Life has become a repeat.
Of past anomalies and tremendous defeat.
Fill. Fill. Set back. Empty?
The things I come cross everyday.
Which are new to me in every way.
Fill me with new content to stay.
In my mind for just one day.
Full...
With no new knowledge to learn.
One can only yearn.
For more 'unknown days' to pass and lay here waisting away on soft grass.

New surroundings surrounded by infinite bodies
Im soaring I'm floating and free
I'm crowded the halls all flooded with disease.
I'm drowning faster than I can sink
My bodies deceased yet my mind set free
New school fills my thoughts so much I ought to organize these thoughts
Yet here I lay surrounded
Forgot drowned by the ones I know not yet but I live I love to find these unknown factors
And put them to rest
In my head.

If I did exist then show me a sign,
otherwise I might resign for incomplete parts do not make a whole.
They only fill a bottomless pit which is fed by the toll as others around me come and go.
Filling my soul with an unbearable void.
Designed to cage and trap, the things inside of me that fill the gap.
If I'm made of spare parts doesn't that make me incomplete?

I was never meant to stay.
Although it truly hurts to say.
I find myself not being able to make it.
Through this day.
Without thinking.
Why am I even waiting around?
In this room full of contempt,
No sound.
It's been over three months now.
Yet I'm again waiting
Constantly debating.
Are you the poison that lets me drown?
I've cried my heart out,
The love is gone.
Now what's left is the hatred,
That feels so wrong.
But it never fails
Everytime you say the same song.
'I'm sorry, I was someone else,
Please come back I'll be myself.'
But I'm tired.
Quit with the lies.
I see the truth hidden underneath those eyes.
When you show your love,
Your just opening a bottle.
One that I swallow,
To the last drop.
Hoping I can endure.
Your poison once more.
I'm hopeless.
Everything I do without you fails.
Guess I'll continue to sink down this line.
Of drowning because of all your bitter sweet lies.

This secret
Is a very important one.
A secret that only I can trust you with,
My only one.
Besides the way you smile,
And how I hope youll stay a while.
This is a secret I hope to never regret.
Spoken in differnt languages,
But clearly meaning the same.
Are words said to tame.
For your imagination can only wonder,
The Secret that may ponder
Lies behind my lips.
Just as these same lips once bestowed a kiss,
For a cause now lost in devastation.
Your greatest elevation.
Lies behind my eyes.
The beautifulist disguise,
To keep a secret so bliss.
However for you my only one.
Out comes the secret spoken to no one
You mean the world to me and nothing would be.
Unless you stayed with me ina castle,
Made by our doors.
And I love you
Are the words that speak the most true.
That reveal the secret,
The way I feel about you.
Words un hearble so hear them threw.
I love you now please stay in our home,
A kingdom made from us our castle.

You can't even trust me
Not with a single thing
Or so it seems.
I've been hiding in such clear sight.
Hoping you might
Love me.
Once again.
What am I waiting for?
How much do you want more?
You told me to wait,
And to not instigate.
So I watched from a view so far
Sat on my balcony
Tried so hard not to plea.
For help?
But if its love why would I need help?
I hold so much content.
Over every incident
Yet these feelings dont wasnt to stay.
I love what I lost,
But I lost what I love.

She saw me again today
This day,
Rid the dismay.
Find a tittle so clean.
'Us'?
Must I ask the obvious?
Look up at the sky
Think ****,
Its so high.
But closer
To her I'll stay.
Because this day,
She looked at me.
And said a title so clean.
I want a 'Us' to mean,
Together forever just you,
And me.
Yesterday I woke up.
Washed my face,
The bags ripping away.
At my skin.
Were she now kisses.
And I look up at her,
My bags fading away.
Under my eyes.
She sees where I hide my lies.
They can no longer stay.
Hold me continue to stare.
At my eyes I've been there.
To places where I don't dare.
To step in again,
But ever again this time will change.
This time you have me,
And we
Have 'Us'

We live because we're free.
A people who truly believe.
That love is hard to find.
And to find is to look beetween.
A thin line than runs straight through the middle.
A thin line that can barely be seen.
And when you cross that line
Try to define,
Your own logic,
Never taste defeat.
Which is a feat
Because defeat is a substance that doesn't help.
Only locks away,
The pain you taste, a pain that shouldn't be felt.
A pain that lacks the desire to win.
Consuming you from the line thats hidden within.
The lies disguised as the substance,
An evil within.
Which don't help but  numb the pain.
Of Love never truly felt.
Only ever looked like a game.
With the pieces lining up,
Queen next to King.
But who made the first move?
Thats for you to know.
But before you find out,
You should probably without doubt.
Get away from the substance,
That brings you hurt more than facing the pain.
Find that line that lays in beetween.
No gain without pain.
So just face it and accept a wondeful feat.
Beat the substance.
And fine,
that greater line in beetween.

Day after day she sat in the rain.
Why're you alone?
He asked.
Because I've got no where to stay.
Well I've got a place free of charge.
I wouldnt wanna be a burden,
Besides I'm tired of hurtin.
You tired of the lies?
Like a false truth?
No just tired of closing my eyes,
To see.
A world o hurt surrounding me.
Well its safe in my heart,
Besides I got no home too.
Maybe you could come stay?
And I'll have a home for two.
That's what what they all say,
But they never stay.
I'm not a bird,
Not meant to be inna cage.
Locked behind bars,
Nah, don't want it that way.
Besides I've become so used to the rain.
I've got coats and a heart that'll heal yours?
I know I don't got much,
But I know if you were there I wouldnt need
A sunny smile, or a fake company.
Then I'll take your offer.
But you must promise me.
Never live in my heart until im comfortable in yours.
She said.
Which is a poem of why her hearts now dead.

There's a reason for everything I do.
Which is a statment I can conclude,
But first, before I start a new.
I'll ask, why do you let your past follow you?
Just because  it's a reflection?
Your mirrior.
Something you never look forward too,
But something that'll always haunt and taunt.
Looking in the mirrior  suddenley reminds,
Life is extremley unfair, no matter the time.
I've been through the past and im stuck in the present.
You'll never know what comes ahead.
So stop looking back with so much resent.
When there's a future, so unknown but pure.
The past is a memory not a cure.
Just because you've left so much love,
Does not mean you should peel feathers from a dove,
No matter how many feathers you pick,
They won't substitute the rock solid hatred that's decided to stick.
I know you miss the words so soft that clinged.
I love you,
No you dont,
This time you can finally be relieved.
Cause the past is just a wondering ghost.
That choses to re live,
Even the most horrible stories.
Just because they're stories he'd never give.
So long with him now here comes the greates fear.
But the futures the future,
I've got time to wait it's no where near.
Just because I mentioned the past as a ghost.
Doesnt mean you won't love the present the most.
There's a reason for everything you do.
Which is a statment...
Only you can conclused.

Im right here waiting with you.
She calls and we're both worried sick.
Her mom seems to have lost it
And she couldn't avoid not being hit.
Our blood boils, till our brains no longer think clearly.
Until finally we both become wearily.
You love her like any best friend should,
No it goes beyond that, more like a never ending sisterhood.
I hear it your voice the way you care for her.
And I try talking and just being here,
However she hangs up on me,
And I hope shes not sheding tears.
But who could avoid it?
No crying for someone you love dear.
Even I cried for her friend.
The one who is not saying a word because she doesnt reprimand.
The way her mom is treating her must've torn a hole.
Inside her now 16 years of lyfe that she has treated as a toll.
She's a beautiful person that doesnt deserve this.
And my friend the one that hung up on me,
She knows no matter what we do all we can do is wait.
For the next day to come along so we can be there and give,
A life she deserves surrounded by love.
A life that reminds her we need her to live.

I find myself trying to ger your attention
And I find it hilarious how you once said,
'You'll always have my attention, no matter the pretention'
Look how the tables have turned.
It's different to be on the side,
That one promised you'd never have to abide by.
Its even harder to accept.
That the love they left behind,
The one they said would never deminish
Not even through tough times.
Was a promise made, only by a window of opportunity.
Forcing you to stay.
So now I sit here no longer able to feel.
No longer trusted or judged
Because im starstruck,
By a false promise made.

I walked right past you
If not for the void filled hallway
I would've stopped
And said please stay.
Let's talk
But not another second passed
Its like watching an hour glass,
Knowing what comes at the end,
But not being able to stop it
Time doesn't bend.
Instead I blurted out a quick 'hey'
And both our faces containing dismay.
You quickly flashed the same smile I adored.
And I passed one back wondering what you were waiting for?
I knew the hourglass was running low.
And the smile you shined me had lost it's glow.
Once again time had passed
And there was nothing,
Not even a grain of sand.
Left in our forever ending hourglass.
That seemed to go as fast as an infinite mass.

Sometimes during the drowsiness
And after the feeling of remembering the times we stayed up talking.
I call your number hoping for the day.
When one missed call can become one never ending conversation,
And I can finally say.
I've missed you.
But I laugh because I know.
That you'll just say,
I know you do, but your love,
Is a love I threw away.

Because it feels so much like falling,
Into love.
Being in love is scary,
So much like falling a frightening descent into beautiful
Madness.
Yes... You
I'm falling into and I dont dare to stop
The fall,
Cause I need it for so much.

You mention him when your around me.
Lovers? No just friends because youre not ready.
For a love that I'd fill you with,
But a fire that'll start when you're gone.
I will be engulfed by a hatred so pure.
Not For the reason that I was only an option
And never a cure.
But so I can hate the love that you told me about
And know it's something that only I ever adored.