I read our messages from the past and smile so hard...
but then I go back to reality forgetting Im no longer yours
and you're not longer mine...

I texted you
When I felt so alone
And so scared
And so ready to disappear
You pulled me in to reality
Or out of my terrible one
And gave a good reason to live

I now knew that one person loved me

You hug me so much
And tell me you love me
And you kiss my cheek
And you run and smile when you see me
And I don't think you know
How wonderful that makes me feel

I knew that someone's experience is better when I'm there

You saw my monsters
And you noticed my face
And you noticed my hand picking at the thing touching my face
You heard my silent scream
And you told me everything was okay

I now knew that my screams could be heard if the right person listened

I cry as I write this,
I love you
I'm grateful
Thank you

my vision is blurry as I type away,
making several spelling errors.
I miss you, and I still love you,
but I know I shouldn't.

I don't want to fall like the leaves in autumn.
or like the snow in winter,
or rain when god is crying down to what a disappointment I am.
I want to shine like the sun, I want them to notice my sparkly lip gloss and admire me, like Athena.
I want to guide everyone through the night with my moonlight.
but I fail to their eyes because they dont see a success,
they see the opposite, they see ugliness. well now I know to never try again.

I wear my bath costume
And I surf by the ocean

Devoted
I never miss a day.

Time goes well at techno
I do not watch the clock
When it is going to finish.