victoria

victoria Jun 2021

And my head may rest
Where the ocean kisses the sand
And you may find me
Between my heart
And your hand

Your hand that grips mine
And I'm safe down on the shore
The ocean calls for my soul
But my heart cries for you more

Will you take the place
Of the waves beneath my feet
Take the moon and her tide
As my independence, gently retreats

I'm leaving my home by the sea, to move 5hours away with my fiance.... I'm sad to be leaving the coast. It saved my life.... But I must try new things. This is my first adult relationship and I'm 44 years old!!!

victoria Jun 2021

Grounded by love

If I don't have love
To hold onto my feet
I will fly too high and
forget how to land

But my feet need only
to be held lightly
So that I may still
flutter and dance

My wings need to be free
Clipping them only
dampens my spirit
But please hold softly
to my toes
So I know, that love
Waits near below.

victoria May 2021

Finding Bukowski.... Late

And then there was the day
that Bukowski ruined my life
I'd have been a regular girl
Maybe made a good wife

But he got a hold of me
Then cynicism snatched my mind
He was almost beside me
Grabbing my behind

I'd gotten straight
I'd forgiven my past
Then incame Hank
So it didn't last

I'm on the level
No knives in MY skirt
The other girls they teach
How a man to hurt

But I was gone, just gone
I couldn't have destroyed you
The Gods had been good to you
The tracks had adored you

And within your words
I found no salvation
Just a world you'd flown from
Leaving only adoration

But I was born in 77
A 17 itch before you passed
Your life still an obsession
By loving an outcast

A rose garden
Whiskey
Typewriter
That's what you gave to me
You gave me thicker skin
Now
I'll write...
I'll just be

#bukowski

Found Bukowski at age 43... This is a blessing, any younger and he'd have destroyed me

#bukowski

victoria May 2021

Living Demons

Living demons

I read you
over
and over
and over
again
I read you so violently
.....so vividly
You are viscous
Vile
Venomous

Raging red mist
Clouds my vision
Your viscidity allures my fury

....and I would **** you

....I would not stop

Fingertips of razor blades
Knuckles to the bone
Spitting tears
Mouth foaming
Veins protruding with every single
Stab

.....And I would **** you

......I would not stop

Infiltrated by evil
Life for a life
Death hath no fury for what I will commit
......I'm already dead

......And I would **** you

.......I would not stop

And after....,
I would light up a smoke
And finally breathe from the heart you broke.....

I killed you .....

And I did not stop....

Wrote this after watching a film in which a mother's daughter was taken and killed...

#violence

victoria Apr 2021

Best friend

Best friend poem

And just as I felt myself fall
as the tears fell hard to the floor
and my heart unraveled it's stitches
And crawled out under the door

Instinctively you just know
That everything isn't ok
That life has forgotten to love me
So you pick up the phone and say...

The words they come easy
Like my favourite book to read
Familiar, fun and carefree
And finally I can breathe

And my heart returns with a new beat
As my smile turns wide as the sea
Because I'm your Thelma
And you're my Louise
And that's how it will always be...

(But without the suicide 😂)

#best #friends

victoria Apr 2021

The prince and his wife

And I am glad
After a possible 60 years
With the man I love
That the world won't comment

That the people won't discuss
How I should feel
How my children should feel
Because I wasn't born to the public

Oh my gladness
Oh the relief
That I was born of the working
That memes will not terrorise my family
And my great loves will not suffer
As your patriarchy bestows

victoria Apr 2021

Man and his shoes

Man and his shoes

There is a man
At the water's edge
He glares savagely
Eyes raging
At the horizon

Unable to steady himself, his mind
Angry at his life
At his world
He spits virulent nonsense at the waves...
But they provide no relief

He hopes each cry will disperse
Each drop of venomous saliva will
wash away with the tide
He is infected with bitterness, but
a hundred moons and a thousand oceans couldn't save his retched soul

There are many watching, wondering, but he stands
alone
Only the gulls surround him
Waiting to feed from his bones
He's redolent of despair
And they smell his desperate heart

As he rocks his upper body
Back and forth, back and forth
The waves greet him mockingly
And swallow his shoes

Written whilst sitting on the beach in Brighton, England. There was a man, shouting into the sea....

#madness #broken