Watch the flow of the ocean
Each wave is its own muscle
Rippling to the shore
Then retreating back into its body
Slowly gaining strength to return
Singing never ending rhythms
That will not fail to calm you,

Listen to the sighs of the sea
Tumbling around
Caressing the sand
Somersaulting sea shells
Exhaling salt water breezes
That will free your mind
If only you'd let it.

everything hurts
           my backbone is constantly struggling to keep me upright
        my head is always hanging
     my heart
                         well that's broken. shattered is a better word actually
           my everything
                  everything is being subtle
more than everything hurts
                                         but i cant think of a word
                                            that describes it
better than everything
                                         because my
                    everything
hurts
          aches
           ­        everywhere
                                                                ­      and sometimes i think
                                                           ­      that maybe
                                                           ­                 a hug could help
                                                            ­                                 why can't anyone tell
                                                      i just
                                                                ­   need
                                                          ­                              to be held safe
                                                            ­                 because i feel broken
                                                          ­     please
                                                          ­                         hold me together

It was the way he said my name that broke my layers of resolve not to cry.
I was weak, just like always.
Why did i expect this time to be different?
To hurt less simply cause I didn't want to cry?
It was the seriousness in his voice, I think, which tripped me up.
He really wanted out.
I was desperate, homicidal even.
I didn't want to be alone.
The shadows scared me.
Following me around like a tracker,
I couldn't help a shudder everytime I caught sight of one.
They grew and shrank in seeming unison.
I clutched his robes and begged.
I will do anything, just don't leave me alone.
They might hurt me.
I have lost everything.
Please oh please I don't want to be alone.
My cries fell on deaf ears.
He had turned away, his face like stone.
This was time to pay.

I squint down into the empty bottle of wine

"Is a relief from embarrassment here?"

No.

Shame.

Swirling what's left,
I drink to poor memories.
I drink to forget.
I drink to soothe.