my skin crackled with electric excitement
anticipating the unknown touch
nerves stretched and begging
satisfaction but a stroke away
sweat blazing a trail down my spine
heat vibrating through me
oh to quench such thirst

Its not who you've been with,
Its who you're able to be with.
Don't let your past impact your future,
You are better than you think.
Gain confidence and self esteem and look to a happier future,
You will find someone who cares for you like no one else ever will.
Just wait, don't rush into anything,
Time will heal all wounds.

*Even a broken heart. Just be confident. Know you can do better and you will.

Sitting in my room
A ****** is the moon
I stare back at her
Gone when I wake at noon
She's always gone too soon

Who do you run to?
When you just want comfort
When you just want to be cured
I just want to be cured
I just want to be cured

If you were a puzzle,
I'd take you apart
and carefully analyze each piece.
It'd be a challenge to learn every part,
how they fit in together, and why,
a fun little game of you.
I'd begin to know the real you.
The mystery part in which i had no clue
Everything you hide, i'd find
But while I was playing this game,
forgive me if I maybe-
just maybe-
slip a piece into my pocket
(it was an accident I swear),
so that whenever you're being put back together,
you wouldn't be whole without me.

O Madiba! Madiba your ship has finally come to rest
Rest now, now rest, for peace was your bequest.
Humiliated, disgraced, yet in captivity you chose
By embracing your enemy, you learnt and rose.
Insulted, assaulted, assaulting, at fault,
Lover, Soldier, for Justice, for God’s sake!
Stop work, break bread, water and salt
And follow in his wake. 

O Madiba! Tata Madiba you who have overcome
A true mandala spun, a Nelson who has won
Overcoming loneliness, cowardice and fear.
Bravery but a blindness brought on by all held dear.
Shame, defeated, blame, defeated, fame -
Let all come, let all shake,
Same blood, same, all the same,
And follow in his wake.

I like crying
Because I'm not allowed to
But since I'm not allowed
I
Can't.

Since you said
That crying isn't good
I physically can't do it
Even when  need to
Even when I have to
Even when I want to

And when I do
I burst
Every feeling that was trapped
Explodes in rage
And they come out all at once

I don't try to hide the pain
Trust me
I want to let it out
I like the feeling
Of drowning in my own thoughts

When I was a child
I sat in my closet
And wrote in the diary
As each word was written
I flew farther and farther away

At that point
I only wrote when I cried
So I could let my tears
Fall on the pages
To 'prove' my sadness

I liked-
rephrase.
I like being sad
It could be because
It reminds me that I'm still alive

I still picture her
When she came in
She dragged me out of the closet
And sat me on my bed
My uncomfortable bed

She snatched my book
Skimmed through the pages
And pointed at the smudges
They messed up the words
Plus they were circled with black ink

So I gave a simple answer
"Those are my tears"
I glanced at my book
In her clammy hands
"I circled them to remember the pain"

Hugs
Are supposed to be nice, right?
Well I hated her hugs
They were rare
But I didn't miss them anyway

She softly said
"Aweee"
Then walked out
So I went back into my closet
Where I can sit in darkness

She left my diary on a shelf
And I haven't touched it since
But I always remember the circled tears
And when she sat in awe
Adoring my sadness

She made me believe,
That sadness is loved.