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409 · Dec 2020
Warped Reflection
Thomas Glennan Dec 2020
Warped Reflection
She just wanted to be in control
Always demanding, always shut down
Never once thinking, but what once he’s old?

She once tried to hurt me, not counting the toll
But there came no apology, not one sad sound
She just wanted to be in control

My countless failures, always retold
Since I was a child, I’ve always been bound
Never once thinking, but what once he’s old?

I dream of the future, my freedom beholds
To escape from my darkness and one day be found
She just wanted to be in control

I see it before me, my story yet told
I’ve fought for my life, a malnourished hound
Never once thinking, but what once he’s old

For now, I wait dying, my life in her hold
Child of mother, peasant of crown
She just wanted to be in control
Never once thinking, but what once he’s old
Written in the Villanelle style
395 · Dec 2021
M.T
Thomas Glennan Dec 2021
M.T
Love or
leave me
dear God won't you reprieve me

Build me up
break me down
some things are easier when you're not around

I'm defeated
I'm tired
my thoughts uninspired

I've not a bed to sleep in
a cloth to weep in
the reaper comes creepin
259 · Oct 2021
She grows
Thomas Glennan Oct 2021
Like a perfectly mixed recipe
A ray of sun, for her to bask under
A few drops of rain, to wash away her imperfections
Lots of healthy soil, for her to build strong roots
Fresh air, for her to sing when no one is listening
Give her just a bit to bake and soon you'll see
She grows towards the light like the tallest sunflower
Always chasing hope, always standing above the rest of the garden
Thomas Glennan Jun 2021
Cyclically recycling re-resolving and prescribing
Waning and waxing
Revolving rapidly yet repeatedly reconditioning
Training for the marked off trail and practicing perfidiousness
Ever-failing always falling
Sprinting from ladders and slipping past stairs
Adamant on Adam's folly restitute to lies
Lust, she is a sneaky beast and one by many names
188 · Feb 2022
Can't Force you to Love me
Thomas Glennan Feb 2022
You're not made of roses
Why can't you be easy
Is it perfect or broken
Why can't you need me

To your needs I molded
You just try to appease me
But my cards aren't folded
******* look and you'll see me

It's almost always good
So why am I hurting
You leave me in fear
I'm so sure heartbreak's lurking

Just love like the others
I am not your chore
Your head under covers
Why can't you give more
179 · Dec 2021
A Coward's Hobbies
Thomas Glennan Dec 2021
I watched every episode of my favorite show intently
I didn't want to miss a minute of my escape from reality
A day of the world I wished I lived in
I listened to every song in my playlist on repeat
I wanted to break my heart enough times to stop healing
A melody of melancholy and dread
I wrote down the most gut-wrenching words I could think of
I needed to voice the pain that coursed through my veins
A pointless exercise as I'm not even clever enough for myself
Why can't the pictures on my screen come to life
Why can't the lyrics make me numb
Why can't the endless words I write down ever come close to showing how I feel
Misunderstanding cuts much deeper than malice
To hurt me you must know me
But to live unknown is a fate worse than death
Dying is easy young man, living is harder
174 · Nov 2023
Suddenly I’m…
Thomas Glennan Nov 2023
Suddenly I’m…
You raise your hand to me
And suddenly I’m 6
Wincing from the pain of my grandfather beating me
But I’m not 6, I’m 20

You call me a problem
And suddenly I’m 7
Being punished by my first teacher for telling the truth
But I’m not 7, I’m 20

You say I should skip a meal
And suddenly I’m 8
Starving for a weekend because my stepmother wouldn’t feed me
But I’m not 8, I’m 20

You say we’re not that close
And suddenly I’m 9
Not allowed to hold my baby sister by my stepmother
But I’m not 9, I’m 20

You shut me out
And suddenly I’m 10
Locked in my room for days by my stepmother
But I’m not 10, I’m 20

You yell at me
And suddenly I’m 12
Shaking from the fear of my stepfather screaming at me
But I’m not 12, I’m 20

You use me for ***
And suddenly I’m 13
Being ***** in the only place I felt safe
But I’m not 13, I’m 20

You tell me I will fail
And suddenly I’m 14
Being ridiculed by my teachers
But I’m not 14, I’m 20

You tell me I’m not enough
And suddenly I’m 15
Hearing from my father that I’ll ***** it up eventually
But I’m not 15, I’m 20

You tell me I’m not enough
And suddenly I’m 16
Being laughed at by my coaches
But I’m not 16, I’m 20

You say you need space
And suddenly I’m 17
Having my heart torn to pieces for the first time
But I’m not 17, I’m 20

You call me names
And suddenly I’m 18
Being manipulated by my mother
But I’m not 18, I’m 20

You say he’s just a friend
And suddenly I’m 19
Being cheated on for the first time
But I’m not 19, I’m 20

You say we can’t afford it
And suddenly I’m 20
Realizing I can’t afford to live
But I am 20, and 21 seems too hard
171 · Oct 2021
Remodeling
Thomas Glennan Oct 2021
One last kiss
One last dance
I walk this miserable, lonely, dark, grey, awful, life
In a trance
You broke my heart
I broke yours first
I think the memory of my selfishness, greed, lust, disloyalty
Hurts the worst
One day I'll build a home
One without my past life's mess
Even though we've grown apart, distant, away, separately
You'll always be my princess
I hope that one day I'll be given the chance
To give you that deserved romance
But if you had left me yesterday
I can't say I'd blame you anyway
153 · Jan 2021
Lonely Sunset
Thomas Glennan Jan 2021
You sailed away
On a boat
On a boat I put you on
I set the course
I pushed you into the water
I tied you to the hull
I cursed the boat for leaving the dock
I dragged you through the streets
You let me
You let me break you
I cried as I dragged your beaten body across the pavement
Angered by your cries for help
You sailed away
I dove in the water
I swam to you
I reached the boat
You helped me climb aboard
Just as my clothes dried
You pushed me back in
Full steam ahead
You sailed into the sunset without me
149 · Apr 2022
Will it ever?
Thomas Glennan Apr 2022
I sit alone
Atop my throne
A kingdom of nothing
Towers built on lies
A river of melancholy surrounds my castle
A drawbridge of self-destruction protects the inside
Soldiers adorned in black to defend empty rooms
A massive table barren of nourishment for an empty belly
One chair
An extravagant bedroom
One king
Desperate for rest
He sleeps and wakes more lethargic than before
Dragging his feet through failures
Decrees from the highest place
One day we will thrive
But all his advisors, his subjects, servants and supporters

Are gone
131 · Oct 2021
"How are you? I'm Fine."
Thomas Glennan Oct 2021
Head weak
Can't sleep
Neck deep
Eyes weep
Thoughts creep
Words bleep
Sirens beep
Long ******* week
129 · Sep 2021
The Forgiven's Folly
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
Longer
Should I have kept my arms around you
Should I have held your hand in mine
Should I have kissed you
Should I have taken in the smell of your hair
Should I have stayed

Better
Should I have loved you
Should I have treated you
Should I have protected you
Should I have been

Faster
Should I have learned
Should I have made you mine
Should I have apologized

Smarter
Should I have been before I hurt you
Should I have been when I let you go

Wiser
Should I be as I try to win you heart all over again
Thomas Glennan Feb 2022
I can break my own heart now
Thoughts of you put it together again
Wasn't sure of want living was
But now I know how

You're wildflowers in a country meadow
A ray of sunlight through cloudy skies
It never rains
A waterfall over a lover's grotto

I still don't sleep
How could I
There are simply too many words to describe
This feeling deep

Assurance
Warmth
FREEDOM

being tied to another
not just one
tethered to your love
breaks the chains of fear
of doubt
of shame

Your name give me wings
You're every bit of sugar in my tea
I'll scream your name till it rings
Till it echos in the wind
121 · Sep 2021
Drunk on Cheap Wine
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
A rocky bond at first, we solidified our kinship with mud blood and trust
Not only did your iron sharpen mine, and mine yours
But I laid my sword at your feet when you hadn't one
Brothers in the valley and kings on the mountain
David and Damocles
I, David, failed miserably as a king, as all I knew how to be was a peasant
A prisoner of his own brother, you draped my rainbow coat on my shoulders like the spots of  a *****
Nothing short of imperfect, I was never meant to lead, but I was always faithful to you, surrendering in humility
The sword over your head, inscribed with lies and deception
Not only did you ignore the blade, destined to pierce your own heart
You cut it down, and pierced both of us
You spilled my blood like water, while believing you bled wine
Maybe so, but the fermented fruit of your disloyalty will always taste sour to me
119 · Sep 2021
Dreaming
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
Read closely
Yes, you
Don't focus on the words

I so badly want to say it again

Literally nothing would make me happier
Only you
Very seldom does a man truly need something outside of himself
Even if he hates to admit it

Yet, I find myself at one of those moments
One of the few moments in my life where I am left needing
Under one condition, just one way, one person, one phrase can fix this

And you've just read it to yourself
117 · Aug 2021
A Solitary Game
Thomas Glennan Aug 2021
Waiting is tedious
Waiting is more than the passage of time
Living is easy
Waiting is hard
Waiting implies a goal
An award
An achievement
Waiting is strenuous
Waiting requires patience
Patience is virtuous
Virtue is not easily attainable
It requires effort
And that, is why waiting is rare
Most just pass time
Those who are willing to wait
Are worth waiting for
#j
117 · Jan 2021
Reality
Thomas Glennan Jan 2021
My anxiety is of a complex variety
Experienced uniquely but lacking propriety
Living in sin and bolstering piety
Everyday beaten by my mirroring ******
The serpent of darkness my soul slowly eaten
Hollow inside, beneath my aketon
Sneaking behind me his minions of fear
Back to the wall and feeling them near
Never appearing but seeing them clear
Always in my mind
Never far behind
Claws begin to grind
Rarely I escape
Hiding from the shape
Fanged mouths begin to gape
The fears I cannot fight
Safe only in light
They always come at night
113 · Sep 2021
A soul's elegy
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
Peeking out under the rock on my back
It cripples me, and saves me from the pyre
Serving me as both a weight and a flak
Still fragged by shrapnel from overhead fire

O Tantalus, much more than a story
How greedy was he, grasping for a drink
Just treading water that's plenty for me
Deeper underwater I feel I shrink

Alone, I put the rock on my own back
Or rather, like a bug I crawled under
The light, often avoided in the cracks
For my sin and greed, there is no sunder

I cannot remove myself from my sin
I deeply need my god and savior
Without salvation I wear grossly thin
I should daily thank him for his favor
112 · Sep 2021
Not about you
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
Not this time
My hands aren't that empty
My lips aren't that lonely
My heart isn't that longing
My eyes aren't that weepy
My mind isn't that restless
I am not so hopeless
That every word from my mouth concerns you
I am not so forgotten
That every thought in my head describes you
This one isn't about you
It isn't about my regret
It's definitely not about my insecurity
I'm not pretending I'm fine
Just because you're not mine
And that surely did not rhyme
111 · Sep 2021
Persephone
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
Burdened by her memory
Tortured by the ghost of his former

Whips and ropes
Beaten and restrained
He welcomes the punishment

She leaves him in the spring
For him the winter never ends
Even as the seasons come and go

One day he'll learn
Obligation is her errand
Her love remains in the seed

It never blooms until she's gone
One day he hopes to take it in
Even the lost need flowers
91 · Sep 2021
Vicariously
Thomas Glennan Sep 2021
A smoky room
A rainy street corner
A park bench just after sunset

The business man just trying to escape work
The woman who can't choose between her dreams and practicality
The student without a place at school

Closing his eyes for a moment
Turning her eyes up to the gray sky
His eyes following his pen across his notebook

Dreaming of his love
Remembering the man who loves her
Writing the story of two lovers

He sheds a tear
She cries softly
A single drop that smudges the words

He stops chasing
She realizes she's gotten away
He hesitates to write the end

He will never have her
She will never love him enough
He's broken his own heart through their story
89 · Dec 2020
Words May Never Help Me
Thomas Glennan Dec 2020
It’s the nervous kind of cold here tonight
The kind where you sit with your back to the wall
You just lean on back and stare at it all
Listening still for the quietest call
Not due to longing more out of fright

With a pen in your clutch you’ve incredible might
To conquer the demons that sneak in your mind
Too scared of the monsters that creep just behind
Two more creeping in trees and your suddenly find
There’s no greater terror than that out of sight

You push down your pen like a sword drawing blood
Desperate to find the words that ****
Verbally painting them just for the thrill
To know them is one thing to see them a skill
Scribbling and slashing but behind you
A thud
87 · Dec 2020
Cornered
Thomas Glennan Dec 2020
Cornered
Drip
      Drip
            Drip
                  Ripple
Young
         Scared
                   Tired
                          Hopeless
Inside
         Desolate
                      Outside
                                  Defiant
Nobody
            Cared
                     Everyone
                                   Watched
Goodbye
               Jumping
                            Falling
                                      Crashing
Concrete poem, feel free to give your thoughts
82 · Dec 2020
Unfinished Man
Thomas Glennan Dec 2020
What is there for dried ink to do with a blank page
An unfinished character somehow is upstaged
His incomplete details stretched thin by a thick swage
From start to the middle, kept from reaching the last stage
He picks up his pen and scribbles with desperate rage
but just like the magic of a charlatan false mage
his pen has gone empty, no words on the blank page

— The End —