I come before you with not just words or promises. I come to you with a vision. A vision of our future.

A vision of our love, loyalty and the dedication we will share over our lifetime together. Of the roots we will plant, the home we will create and the family we will make. Of the blood sweat and tears we will sacrifice for each other, but that our laughter and joy will make them seem so very small.

This vision is something I never saw before you. And you have made me see it all so so clearly.

I will grow old with you.
I will go grey with you.
I will be with you for as long as this life allows me to be.

I am sure of you.

I vow to you that I will remember this vision of certainty in the hurt and sacrifices that are inevitable in life. Through the bad days, through the tough months through sickness and any obstacles.

I am sure of you.

You make me believe in romcoms again.
You’re the one I wouldn’t run away from.

If there’s one ******* thing in this world I never want to stop seeing. It’s your smile, your real smile, when you look at me.

Where am I?
“You’re dead.” They said.

“It was quick, that’s why you have no memory. No pain, you came straight here.”

And where is here?

“Heaven of course”

Right right.
Well, glad I made it.
So what’s next? Do I go inside?

“Nope first you have to settle up your will.”

My will? Like my last will and testament?

“Yep!”

I think I did one of those, when I was living?

“No no sorry... not the will of your earth stuff. The will of your energy.”

My what?

“Your energy. The energy that was given to you upon birth.”

What do you mean?

“Energy never dies, it just goes into other things.”

Ok... sorry i’m still a little lost.

“You know when you felt like someone who died is with you? Or you get a sense they are watching out for you?”

Yes... of course.

“Did you think that was just in your head? Your emotions getting the better of you?”

Well kind of...

“Wrong! That’s their energy. They willed a portion of their energy to you. That’s why you felt them. They gave you a piece of themselves. It’s the most core thing you can will.”  

Wow. So I get to choose who feels those moments with me?

“Yes. Yes you do.”

Ok this might take a while...

“Don’t take too long, all of the people who willed to you - they’re right inside so excited to see you.”

I feel like saying I love you but I haven’t yet.

Sometimes I say it in my head after saying good night.

I double checked my text to you last night to make sure I didn’t accidentally let it slip. I felt so strongly I just knew my thoughts could have leaked onto paper.

I feel like saying I love you, but I haven’t yet.