Material, it’s just something to make into something more right,
Material can make you happy for a second but it doesn’t last,
Seemingly nothing gives me the serotonin I oh so crave,
But receiving something new gives me that good 15 seconds of remembering that feeling,
But no, things can’t make you happy,
Situations, memories, people.. they make you happy,, right?
Sometimes those memories are too far away and you haven’t seen those situations in days,
But the people, the people do their best, but their best isn’t always enough, like that 15 seconds
It may seem like I’m horrible, the only time I can get happy is buying things to fill a void that was never meant to be full,
But it’s okay, right? Because I’m not filling it with drugs or bad people , no,
I’m filling it with that good 15 seconds where I remember what it’s like to feel alive.

I’m sorry that I’m not enough, for you
But I promise I’m trying to
I know my best isn’t enough
But doing all of this is tough

You speak so calmly but I can feel the screams
My tears come flowing out in streams
You think I don’t try but it’s all I ever do
You think I’m rude but I’m trying to be nice to you
I don’t know what you want from me
I’m giving everything I have

Sometimes I feel like no matter what
I’ll just never be enough

I am Max.

I can not be simply imagined

Many will create a character in their mind of what I must be like

None will get this character right

Because I am not a simple thought

I am not what you want me to be

Trust me I’ve tried before

I am not that cool, has it together punk

I am not that smart, likeable shy alt kid

I am not your next conquest or partner

I am not your next interest or crush

I am not the one you fall in love with

I’m the ***** that will break your heart

That teaches you not all love is right

I am the heartache you get when you think of love

I am the ******* tears in your eyes when someone says “I love you” back

I am the mistake you’ll make

I’m the drug you’ll want time and time again

But I do not come back to break people

I will break you once and myself many times

I’m the one you’ll scream and yell at when it’s over

I’m the one you’ll block and never unblock

I am the mistake you’ll make time and time again

But the truth is that I’ll never be right for you or anyone

For I am a phase that some may have

But I am also the whisper in the wind that comes once, never twice

I am Max.