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Sisilia Feb 2016
Daddy why don't you love me?
Is it because i look more of 'her'?
Is it because i am a reminder of what has gone and will never return?
Everyday i see a father hold his daughter dearly,
With so much affection and love,
And then i look at us.
Is there even an 'us' anymore?
Was there ever an 'us' to begin with?
Why daddy why?
Why must you push me away?
Cant you see daddy? i'm hurting too,
I smile for the sake of you, reminding you that i'm here,
That i'm here to share your grief with and morn over our lost,
But why daddy why?
Why must you scorn at me with such raw hate?
Cant you see daddy our numbers will never add up
You lost one.....................................
But I've lost two.
i was never daddy's little girl although i never hated him for that, the more he pushed me away the more i was drawn to him, the more i craved for his fatherly love, but still i wait here patiently to notice me as his daughter and not the plague.
  Feb 2016 Sisilia
Tafuta Atarashī
I'm not doing so fine.
I distract myself from the anguish
By pouring music into my mind.
But that could never comfort this
Feeling of helplessness felt inside.
Jesus take my heart, take my sighs
And the subtle pain from which I hide
And take me into your arms
Dear Lord take this wandering sheep
God, in your Sons name please
Remove this sadness far
Away from me.
  Feb 2016 Sisilia
James Cracker
My ***** is in the kitchen.
taking care of her puppies
And my *** is by my side.
Ready to harvest the crops...
Speak nicely.
Sisilia Feb 2016
'Just smile'- she said to me, just smile
And so i did...For her,
For 6 years my smiles were forever genuine,
For 6 years and only 6 years was i happy to be apart of this world,
For 6 years oh how my smile was genuine.
However, Little did i know that those 6 years were only a tease of happiness,
Little did i know that my genuineness was to be replaced with a cold façade.
6 years gone in a blink within only a night.
When 'he' came in and took my innocence with him,
'Just smile' she said just smile.
And so i did. For her
12 years i stand here smiling without emotion,
12 years i stand here smiling without the women who had given me such a demand,
12 years i stand here smiling when she never stood by her own words,
12  years i stand here hurting,
6 years stolen and never returned
12 years of  keeping a constant, hard façade,
Praying for a change in the future years,
For i still stand here smiling, yes i'm just smiling.......
For me.
#Smile a genuine smile. #for yourself
Sisilia Feb 2016
I see the devil in me,
Though Sundays oblivious to him.
They say everyone is beautiful,
though looks can be deceiving
Lucifer was once an angel too.
a beautiful one,
But what am i  if i'm down here?
If the devil is below me,
and God is above me,
Then what i am?
Who am i?
I sit on the fence although the fence is between both different worlds'
But which side do i sit on?
The devil's or Gods?
#Which side are you on? #Don't answer that. #only if you want...
Sisilia Feb 2016
I am a star that looks upon all at night,
I am a star that is always by itself,
You'll probably know me as the one that doesn't shine as much,
or the one that strays from the 'popular' constellations.
i am a star that gets picked on from the others because i am the smallest, even the man in the moon laughs at me.
But instead of spiting back at them i laugh back....... you wanna know why?
because i am a star that is alone for a reason,
i stray from the constellation because when one burns they all burn,
i am that star that is the smallest but is the most constant star there is,
i am a star that will always be looking out for you from above,
every night,
i am the star that is sometimes out during the day,
the one you tell your secrets too, the one to cherish them
or the star that cries with you, for i am the star that is alone for a reason...
to be a constant reminder that you will always have a friend and that  you are not alone..
Yes, I am that star.
#firstpoem  #yeahdontknowwhatelsetosay.

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