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Nov 2016 · 699
Behind the collar
Sisilia Nov 2016
We stood together in the dark
My arms around your neck
Your's at my waist,
Whispering sweet nothings to me
Now my heart was beating twice the average speed,
but it wasn't because of our breaths mingling together
or because your full pink lips were only inches from mine
NO,

It was because my heart knew the truth before my mind comprehended it
That behind the collar hide a different man
a man who plays with me only in the dark
but in the light of day preaches the word of god and points out the sins that i'm guilty of.
Never touching me the way you do in the dark,
in fear of others' judgement;
afraid that i will ruin your  ' i am a man of god' act

I should have known from the first time we embraced,
the way i hugged you with all my might never wanting to let you go
only to have felt your one arm ******* excuse of a hug in return.

'What are your goals in life'?- i asked you
You replied- 'To show you how much you mean to me and more'
Here you filled me with a sense of hope I've only ever dreamed of feeling
How naive of me to think that you've never said those exact words  to another women.
A women for example whom patiently awaits your arrival at home.
For behind that collar hides a man who still plays the game deceiving so many then kicks them to the curb.
Well you did teach me one thing and for this i am thankful

Love is a game, you either play the game or get played,
Or you can simply take a seat on the bench.

I've kept that bench warm far to long and yet i still got played even when i wasn't  playing.
But I've had enough of being the bench warmer and i'm ready to play the game.
Looks can be so deceiving. And i made the mistake of falling once, never will i fall again. (Did some minor changes)
Oct 2016 · 747
THE FREAKS ARE OUT TO PLAY
Sisilia Oct 2016
October 31. Halloween
A Celebration celebrated worldwide for children and adults to dress as whatever they desire and are free of judgement... of condemnation.
A night where the freaks hidden inside every '
normal' person comes out to play either;
commando,
or a zombie,
a damsel in distress or
might i add a naughty little schoolgirl..

An open invitation to ask strangers for candy,
a game to see who can collect the most......
Halloween is just a game that is just full of surprises aren't they?
Oh! Halloween is a night everyone looks forward too.....
the dead included
We like games too.

We, the ones who linger between realms awaiting trial.
waiting to be stationed into our eternal home a pick between;
a forever scorching, fire blazing hellhole or
forever be glistened by the almighty light.

On Halloween night,
we the dead are free to wonder back into the world we begged to leave
whilst upon the stars the judge laughs upon his throne at us,
knowing all to well we despise this place.

Mockery is a well known game,
played by many, deceived so many.
Even mortals shamelessly mock the dead and tease us with life
irony is they live for this very night
to dress up and be someone/something they desire the most.....
the things they so often remind thy selves are;
abnormal,
freaks,
an abomination..

For god so loved the world,
he gave his only son,
to prove that he can and could give and take life as he pleases
We 'freaks' learnt that the hard way..
Every Halloween the Gods are at play and so are the humans,
but never us.

We the ones the mortals fear
And the Gods personal entertainment.
These humans wonder off into the parade whilst we linger in the depths of the darkness
He told us as punishment we are to watch them parade about us
and celebrate the day of the dead,


He who looks down upon us cursed us.
To have a sirens call-
to lure them in,
sedating them with sweet nothings,

BUT only one rule applied to us all:
NO touching the one thing we freaks' all lacked; *SOULS

That's their sick,game
to tease us by gifting us to caress the mortals ever so slightly but nothing more....
'SADISM' is what we call the game in which Hades and the Gods play;
and us being the pawns.......

Well not anymore.
Not this time
No! tonight we will purge on whatever comes our way,
Sedating them with the curse of a sirens call.......
the one that the mighty gods has gifted us with,

Tonight we feast on what the humans are celebrating; DEATH.
No more hide and seek games, with the humans
No more cat and mouse games with the Judges
its our turn to give a good scare!
Tonight we play our own game,
We call it 'PEEK-A-BOO'!
'cause tonight we'll will give them one *HELL
of a Spooky night,
'cause we're coming for you!!!!!
Excuse the Halloween Puns :)
Sisilia Apr 2016
An atheist said to a reverent:

Heaven is a fairy-tale for those
who are afraid of the dark

The priest replied:

Atheism is a fairy-tale for those
who are afraid of the light.
Quoted by Philosopher: Ray Andrew.
Please note that i have nothing against atheism nor atheist people.
They are no different from any other being.
I'm sorry if this did offend anyone in anyway.
Mar 2016 · 537
Stone cold
Sisilia Mar 2016
One shall not look at beauty
as a gift,
for it comes with it's own
**punishments
Mar 2016 · 879
**catch me**
Sisilia Mar 2016
yes
come home
just a little closer
jump my darling, i'll catch you
The closer i stand at the edge of the cliff the louder their chants become,
beckoning me to come home
mother screams at me to get away from the edge when my other mother is telling me to jump,
she said she'll catch me with all my brothers and sisters beside her cheering me on
come little sister, join us
they are everywhere, from small crystal droplets of rain to the treacherous  waves,
when i'm underwater, they whisper stories about what home is like,
one mother cries whilst the other is cheerful
i want to be happy, to be free, with all my brothers and sisters,
so i jump..
straight into the treacherous tempest
they kept their promise, mother, brother and sister,
their waves lashed out and caught me
the more we embraced the more the sea swelled and heaved,
together we chant
finally home
Mar 2016 · 596
Existing
Sisilia Mar 2016
He's slowly fading away
deeper into the dark void
He shouts my name, screaming, kicking and thrashing about,
arms outstretched towards me
I try to save him i really do
But he's falling deeper now
growing smaller and smaller by the second
His face blurs through my teary face
If he dies you will die with him, my subconscious screams at me
but it was to late,
When reality hit me.
When i came to realise that it was not he who was falling, but me.
Deeper and deeper i fall into the void, arms outstretched towards him..
although who is he?
He is no one but from my own fantasy
It was all imaginary
His face
His arms
His voice
His existence
Everything
The only thing that is real is that i'm falling deeper and deeper
I've lost my mind they told me,
I smile through my teary face, as i reach closer to death,
They were right, i did lose my mind, i listened to to mind and not my heart, so now ill pay the price;.....
With my life
Follow your heart even if your mind says differently....
Feb 2016 · 990
That's not your shadow.
Sisilia Feb 2016
You are his personal entertainment
His guilty pleasure.
Nothing is hidden from him.
Everyone fears him  not because of the stories that are told about him but
because he's knows your secrets,
He SEES them.
All your 'secrets'
All the ***** sins that are unforgivably unforgivable
those ***** little deeds that you've committed,
he knows all of them.
He watches from the darkness, he is always close.
Have you ever wondered about your shadow?
How it moves slickly by you?
Is it really 'your' shadow?
Come a little closer, i'll let you in on a tiny secret........
Its Him.
The darker the shadow the more secrets he has against you.
The more power he has over you.
He taunts you to do more evil so you wouldn't forget who holds the reins on your life.
Every one has two sides the good and the bad
its only a matter of which side you play with the most
its only a matter of who always aims to sit on top of the nice list
or who plays with the evil in the dark more..
*him* could be anything or anyone you imagine him to be..
My *him* happens to be a man i have forgiven but have never forgotten..
Feb 2016 · 804
Why Daddy?
Sisilia Feb 2016
Daddy why don't you love me?
Is it because i look more of 'her'?
Is it because i am a reminder of what has gone and will never return?
Everyday i see a father hold his daughter dearly,
With so much affection and love,
And then i look at us.
Is there even an 'us' anymore?
Was there ever an 'us' to begin with?
Why daddy why?
Why must you push me away?
Cant you see daddy? i'm hurting too,
I smile for the sake of you, reminding you that i'm here,
That i'm here to share your grief with and morn over our lost,
But why daddy why?
Why must you scorn at me with such raw hate?
Cant you see daddy our numbers will never add up
You lost one.....................................
But I've lost two.
i was never daddy's little girl although i never hated him for that, the more he pushed me away the more i was drawn to him, the more i craved for his fatherly love, but still i wait here patiently to notice me as his daughter and not the plague.
Feb 2016 · 855
Just Smile
Sisilia Feb 2016
'Just smile'- she said to me, just smile
And so i did...For her,
For 6 years my smiles were forever genuine,
For 6 years and only 6 years was i happy to be apart of this world,
For 6 years oh how my smile was genuine.
However, Little did i know that those 6 years were only a tease of happiness,
Little did i know that my genuineness was to be replaced with a cold façade.
6 years gone in a blink within only a night.
When 'he' came in and took my innocence with him,
'Just smile' she said just smile.
And so i did. For her
12 years i stand here smiling without emotion,
12 years i stand here smiling without the women who had given me such a demand,
12 years i stand here smiling when she never stood by her own words,
12  years i stand here hurting,
6 years stolen and never returned
12 years of  keeping a constant, hard façade,
Praying for a change in the future years,
For i still stand here smiling, yes i'm just smiling.......
For me.
#Smile a genuine smile. #for yourself
Feb 2016 · 634
Which side
Sisilia Feb 2016
I see the devil in me,
Though Sundays oblivious to him.
They say everyone is beautiful,
though looks can be deceiving
Lucifer was once an angel too.
a beautiful one,
But what am i  if i'm down here?
If the devil is below me,
and God is above me,
Then what i am?
Who am i?
I sit on the fence although the fence is between both different worlds'
But which side do i sit on?
The devil's or Gods?
#Which side are you on? #Don't answer that. #only if you want...
Feb 2016 · 385
I am that star.
Sisilia Feb 2016
I am a star that looks upon all at night,
I am a star that is always by itself,
You'll probably know me as the one that doesn't shine as much,
or the one that strays from the 'popular' constellations.
i am a star that gets picked on from the others because i am the smallest, even the man in the moon laughs at me.
But instead of spiting back at them i laugh back....... you wanna know why?
because i am a star that is alone for a reason,
i stray from the constellation because when one burns they all burn,
i am that star that is the smallest but is the most constant star there is,
i am a star that will always be looking out for you from above,
every night,
i am the star that is sometimes out during the day,
the one you tell your secrets too, the one to cherish them
or the star that cries with you, for i am the star that is alone for a reason...
to be a constant reminder that you will always have a friend and that  you are not alone..
Yes, I am that star.
#firstpoem  #yeahdontknowwhatelsetosay.

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