I think we both knew
That it was going to end
Before it began

White lights flashing
Hold on through the night
Another reason to survive

Keep her company
Lie beside her
Whisper sweet nothings

My first gulp of fresh air
Is met with a smile
Eager to find peace

I found comfort
In the feeling of being wanted
Enough to choose to live

And so you keep me company
Lie beside me...
Whisper sweet nothings

Truth spurns
Hardest when your heart is wounded  
One less reason to live

& I still find comfort
In the feeling of being wanted
Just not from you

A breath in between sips
Of sweet morning air
As the sun cascades down branches
And drapes upon glistening flowers
Fresh with morning dew

Deer prance across
wheat rumbling in the wind
He doesn’t smile often
But a heart of content
Reflected in a crystal blue

mosaics
of tiny sparkling slivers
glittering

what is the correct response
when a world has been ripped away
how do you feel
when there is nothing to love

there's a fist clasped
around my heart
and I could feel my heart
beating rapidly
against my ribcage

the words leaked out
in between my teeth
and my tongue
shoveled them out
onto your heart

but what you did to him
and to her
to them
and the spewing boiling words
did to me

I've been seared
long enough
we've been fighting
more than
long enough

as the words spill
flooding around us
I float away
you streaming after me
tears brink at the bank

you shove
everything
I ever gave you
and tell me
not to lose them

and I walk away
knowing
that I just broke
both our hearts
broken

but tightness
in my chest
didn't dissipate
nor did the tears
evaporate

I lost
what you gave me
but I still have
the pain wrapped up
in my heart

and with time
I will begin to weave
it back together
but for now
it will stay broken

crawl
into my flesh
and sink
into my bones

I want to know
the truth
am I beautiful?
...not yet

I kneel before you
and I bow my head
I reach for the dangling treasure
in the back of my throat

I reach and reach and reach
until
there is blood coating
my fingers

but am I beautiful?
not yet

clammy fingers
grasp an ice cold glass
burning my fingers
but satiating the beast

to be hungry
is to betray you
numb everything
with ice

am I beautiful?
not yet

I can feel you now
etched into my skin
and I feel so paper thin
light as a feather

I look at the bodies
you put before me
and I all I see are
ribs
and
collarbones
and
spines

they are sharp
and my belly heats up
because they are

Beautiful.

and someday
I will look like them
but
not yet