crawl
into my flesh
and sink
into my bones

I want to know
the truth
am I beautiful?
...not yet

I kneel before you
and I bow my head
I reach for the dangling treasure
in the back of my throat

I reach and reach and reach
until
there is blood coating
my fingers

but am I beautiful?
not yet

clammy fingers
grasp an ice cold glass
burning my fingers
but satiating the beast

to be hungry
is to betray you
numb everything
with ice

am I beautiful?
not yet

I can feel you now
etched into my skin
and I feel so paper thin
light as a feather

I look at the bodies
you put before me
and I all I see are
ribs
and
collarbones
and
spines

they are sharp
and my belly heats up
because they are

Beautiful.

and someday
I will look like them
but
not yet

Little girls grow up
with their mamas
and they love them
for the rest of their lives

little girls
all grown up
will someday lose
their mamas

but mama
I'm not all grown up
so why
do I have to lose you?

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

Revolving around you
I come back
And I leave

On my knees I come crawling
The floor creaking
Groaning

Pleading
Don't stay
Leave space

My chest is empty
My heart so alive
I left with you

Don't leave me alone
The four walls sit
Blank as me

Don't forget
Words echoing loudly

You
Loved
Me

A
Dull Ache
In my heart
Is a constant reminder
Of you

I thought
That it would eventually
Fade
But the memories of you

Embrace pain closely
And every day
It gets harder to
Say goodbye

And it hurts
To think about
Meeting someone
New

Because
You were the
Only One
for me

My standards
Are as high as
Our spirits were
When we were together

I miss seeing your face
Every day
Every hour
Every minute

Now I stare at photos
Trying to spot
Any difference
From since I last saw you

I am terrified
You are becoming a stranger
And once you're just another blank face
My world will crumble

Nights
And days
Of you
Holding me together

Listening
Crying
Listening
Hugging

And I don't think
I ever
thanked you
Enough
...

Thank you

L
e
  a
   k
    i
     n
      g

I n t o  

my ears

        s
       p
      i
     l
    l
   i
n
g

O  u   t

My lips

These

Words
Words words
Words words words
Words words
Words

That
h
u
r
t

Me

Because they

h
u
r
t

You

And

t
     e
          a
               r
                   s

f
a
l
l
  l

Fasterfasterfaster

Than I fell
For you

These
D E M O N S

In your

     Heart                 heart
Heart heart        heart heart
Heart heart heart heart heart
Heart heart heart heart heart
Heart heart heart heart heart
   Heart heart heart heart
        Heart heart heart
   Heart heart
      Heart

Are
SqUeEzIng
My  
        l
     u
  o
s

And i think

i love him i love him i love him i love him

but

how
can
He

love love love love love

someone else

When

He
C A N T
Even

Love love love love

h
  i
   m
     s
       e
         l
           f
             ?

One look
is enough to get me confused
Is everything ok?
Of course, I was just asking...

Moments at time
feel completely normal
Then the cold creeps back in
and I'm lost in your look again

As I begin to walk away
it almost hurts that you don't stop
and turn to look at me
...almost

I always come back
because I have grown to love you
Even if you hate me
like the others do

We have changed together
What's stopping us from growing together
When did we become strangers
Resent me anymore and I’ll break

They think you're great
often I'd agree
but lately, you're a puzzle
I lost the last piece to

I'd ask you to fill me in
but we both know you'd lie
for better or for worse
you don't want me to cry

I know this hurts me
and I leave every day
an ache in my stomach
and a buzz in my head

but does it hurt you
to leave me
and forget
all the beautiful things we have created

You and I
and you and us
We are...
We were beautiful things