I want your love
I want your everything
I want no one else to have you
I want you to Be Mine

roses & ivy,
                       grow,
                            s
                               w
                             i          l
                                 r

s.h.i.f.t & CLAW

back bone, bare bones, counting verteb
                                                          ­      r
                                                         ­       a
                                                        ­        e
                                        a  s
spineless,­ no moral c     p
                                  o  m

          North
West­              East
         South

never fond of waking up,
(bare feet, touching cold slate)

cluttered hearts surrender,
(wrists cutting, a fine lullaby)

holding pearls hands closed,
(sea urchins inhabit, a narrow soul)

painted roses en pointe(d) toes,
(thousands of galaxies, offer a million wishes)

tea lights will, guide her home,
and back to, a place she,
is yet, to know.

Life surrenders that,
soul mates,
never,
        DIE.

© Sia Jane

Spill blood
like wine
over the bed-sheets.
This ceremony
leaves none
unexplored.

As soothsayers
we see dreams
and visions of
time past
and passing
in the entrails
and tea leaves.

What did we hope to find
in the fleshy hollows
where our sweetness
sits in wait
to rot?

Once found
is our fate made sound?
Solid.
A still life
in the waiting room
where we will break our bonds.

When the movement
stilled
and the dust kicked up
was hushed,
did we find ourselves there
under the blood stains
and honey,
or were we waiting
forever on the outside?

Always am I transparent
under a shifting moon.

How many times did I  not learn
From a lesson taught before

How many mistakes repeated
100 times or more

How many chances
Did I ignore  - to forgive ?
Then make amends

How many people
Have I  led to believe
To trust in me their friend ?

No value held in spoken words
Unless we act them out

Reassurance only found within
The heart that holds no doubt

A smile is just a gesture ?
A hug is just a squeeze.?

Manners don't mean nothing
Just words  - Thank you  and please ?

It's true these things are simple
But like a tender loving touch

Without them
Then we realise
They all meant.    ....... so very much........

I want you to remember
That to write
Is to express yourself,
The flicks on your n's
And the loops on your f's
Show me the inner workings of your mind.
When she sent that letter,
There should have been tears on the page,
You should have been able to see
The corners had been folded and torn,
And the paper was *****, crumpled,
And covered in coffee stains.
You couldn't see any of that, though,
Because she chose to send it to you
In the form of a small series of lights,
Accumulated on a screen
To mimic a cold,
Soulless version of herself.
Maybe it's because she didn't want you to know
What was actually going on.

You look at me
With eyes melting
The colour of dry grass
Golden
Pale
In the winter

Questions
Form
Evaporate like mist
From your lips

I see them moving
In hope
And sorrow
Coinciding with your soul
But I can’t
Say anything

I promised myself I wouldn't talk to you
For a week.
Every day of that week,
I woke up feeling sick.
Feeling like there was a pressure cooker
In my chest
And the only way to let off steam
Would be to say something to you.
I battled.
I won.
I trudged through every ****** moment,
And yes,
It was hard the entire time,
And yes,
I hated myself for being unable to stop
Wishing I could just fold.
And the only thing that kept me going
Was that if I waited long enough
Maybe you'd notice you wondered where I went.
If I could just wait a week, that was how long it had been
Since you said anything to me.
If I could wait a week
We would be on equal footing
For once.
If I could just
For once
Not be the one trying so ******* hard
To get your attention...
And here it is,
A week.
A week I bribed myself through
With the promise that the moment it had passed
I could say one little hello to you,
And the possibility that maybe you'd say something
Back.
Here it is,
A week
And
What I realized this morning
When I opened my eyes and thought of you
Like always
Is that now that I've gone this far
I am afraid to lose my self respect...
Just for now, I have a glimmer of pride in my own heart.
Just for now, I find that I am much more afraid to say something to you
And have you ignore me again
And feel powerless and stupid and...
WEAK again,
And have to live in fear, loathing myself for loving you so much,
Than I am to trudge on in painful
But calm
Silence.

A dream passing through my thought, to it I become alive,
in her yellow satin bikini, my love, walks across the beach
on the water's edge she stands looking back
thinking I'd join her, for now, forget other things.
I am in the spell of a dream that keeps on enticing me for long.
Strong scent of whisky and tobacco, encircles me like a cloud
the breeze gossips about it and spreads the word around
the girl in the table next, knowingly smile, still pretends reading
all of us, my love, I, the girl belonging to someone, smoking non stop
are lost, marooned here, still we are floating on a bubble each
others hardly notice, each has a dream still vague, kept on hold
half formed, unknown still or in different states of existence.
            But a voice mysterious, whispers this in my ears:
                                                  "Aren't we all still in a past dream?"