He really isn't such an extravagant specimen of humanity
The other day he told her that he wasn't a mess
And the funny part is that he believed himself
He believed that he wasn't so pathetic as to deny his masochism whilst depriving himself of sleep
He believed that he didn't send messages to random people on HP because he was lonely and maybe just maybe that other person would live in south africa and get to know him and love him
He believed that he sent those messages because he wanted to help people
His pathos of trying was so painful to watch even he stopped seeing the reality of his metaphorical wrist and literal subconscious
And even though he watches good shows and listens to good music and has valid philosophical opinions that are well structured of both he still second guesses himself
He still doubts his ability to be anything in life but his dreams are real and o so powerful
He has become a farse
A pathetic dismal farce
And the worst part about this farce
Is that this farce somehow still believes that he is different and better farce than all the other farces out there

Yes he hates himself
But he has become so good at lying to himself that he doesn't even believe the words as he types them on this screen

'Why', he said.
'Because', she said 'I can't love anyone the way I loved you. Not even you'.

We just drove through a small town
It was fascinating
Fascinatingly morbid
Morbidly surreal
There were probably 10+ plots that were haphazardly converted into graveyards
'Ratchet' as my generation would think but not say because that would be 'disrespectful to the dead'
In each of the graveyard were hundreds of graves
And it was strange
Strange how such 'ratchet, disrespected and haphazard' graveYARDS
Contained such Beautiful and ornate gravestones
As if to say that nothing could lessen the glory of their death
They would leave behind an impression of beauty
Even in death
(Even though they never chose their gravestones. But don't say that because it would be 'disrespectful to the dead' in their blissful abyss)
It makes one think
That in a town of less than 1000
There was easily more  than 2000 gravestones
It shows how life goes on
How, even in a small town,  we are insignificant

Your scent circles me
Draining my sanity
Drawing me in with a sirens song
But these urges could never be more wrong

If I were to take one nip
Of your luscious soul
Within but a click
I'd engulf you whole

I hate you, no
That is a lie
I hate that you don't know
You're going to taunt me until the day I die

You're within but a fingers reach
Hidden inside forbidden
The fruit of pure sweet, forever untouched

i still remember the way your lips would always curl up in a smile and i hate to admit that it still makes me smile and i keep thinking about the day you'll come back to me like it's guaranteed like it's written in the script but when it comes to love nobody ever keeps their promises. the other day i told someone that i was never in love with you. that you were nothing but a faint memory, a blur hidden in my past but my voice trembled when i said it just like it always does when i tell a lie. i remember when you said that i would move on faster than you could ever try to and trust me i have tried my ******* hardest to love anyone else but it has been ten months and every time i hear your name i feel my breath catch in my throat and my vision becomes blurry and i ******* miss you. i have been trying to distract myself from you i have been pouring my heart out to people who could not care less about me i keep wishing someone else would break my heart but that would require me to still have one.