SOUL-ARDS



From my eyes there flowed the coagulated eyeballs of honest incredulity; chains of true pearls were lined up under my baggy eyes like clumps of onion-clusters! In feverish, timeless grayness, my rebellious finger-tips ***** ever after instinct-secrets! With my senile self long since pregnant, I have regrown my outcast, my Golgotha-maiden! I think of only one thing: where and how could I have begun anew with my soul-mate another, more substantial, and perhaps wiser life?!


In my being there still ticks the timeless, proud beating of the Universe in ever more agitated, wicked time-bomb beats; in my metaphors still intertwine eternal, immortal compliments of love and all-powerful romances! Outside, paralyzed Minotaurs flock, hoping for mimic-majestic riches, and, looking into the invisibility of their curved mirrors, curiously peer at the compromising world!


The mature soul, thought lost, wanders into prehistoric massive-syrupy solitude to rediscover the palpable depths of Being! Before me and after me, my closed-uncertain future and gaping, personalized mines for my ashes, which have been for some time decaying with the molecules of my cells; my romance, my beauty, crashes into the ******* air-wall of Nothingness and chokes me for the umpteenth time in melancholy! - Like a knife in soft butter, I should sum up the fragments of my memories backwards in my account of what has happened, so that I may move forward more courageously!

In my careless anguish, in the moonlight, displaced, she wept alone; My knocking, true-kissing, friendly voice was not yet answered, Only a syrupy darkness had taken hold! Thus in my trembling body the little child cried out in a roar! All compassion against me was frozen on ever-superficial, grimacing faces; and the preserved aversion curiously scanned its sad, past memories! He who is the sole companion of himself, and who, repressed, creeps with terrible strength into the land of still survivable Tomorrows, is forced to scrape together his courage of noble substance in himself!


He can cry as long as he likes, for no one will listen anyway! - Squeaky shadow-wings whisper in the haunting twilight, and now everything seems so uncertain and difficult to digest: he forces himself into foreign roles instead of taking root, settling down and finally being himself! He stops, alarmed, like a chubby, worn-out coat on the rack of the pegs that pull him to the stake, and feels that his fate would fall before the pre-shotgun barrels if he let it - so he prefers to stand back in the eyes of the Outlands and digest his own humanity!


He knows his efforts are all in vain, but he must cling to something! A superstitious glance, a disturbed childish memory in the horrors of the past, or a kiss that might have been a romantic summation, which in an unexpected moment of magic could have meant much to all! - Outside he gazes at himself paralysed, And knows the treacherous Beast's needle-sharp fortune awaits!

Man-watching, starry-eyed flame Why does it promise stubborn, headstrong Hope only to others?! You tell me, fair lady, the real, the crystal-truth! Dog-hatred and jackal-hatred become blood nowadays, And vague hopefulness breeds in the place of conscious realizations; Ideas are easily crushed! From our hesitant self-defeating chess-steps only Waste springs! The ******, outcast secret of decipherable end-points; the thundering purr of ruby drops of blood in the wound-litter of beating hearts threatened with infarction is evident!

He who daily serves the ivory-Culture experiences a whirlwind! From the twilight of disillusionment a safe and reliable way is seldom found! The cosmic downfalls of groaningly cicentric life-paths guarantee success for powerful oligarchic generals to dictate new, selfish terms! - Spiral Life wraps itself around itself like a shoelace: if it could, it would abuse its born creation to grab privileges!

From bone-lungs oozes syrupy-murderous silence, like hard-healed wounds! Even now the memories of the past carry dagger-edged cares to our feet; dreams are cherished by the babble of babes, and vows are made by the unruly Heart within itself! - Under the pathetic Existence, as a gesture of exalted dignity, prison walls are erected for the incomprehensible ****** of the stumbling obstacles! How does the over-dimensioned, pedestalized Man manage in the catacombs of consumer societies?!

Above the bridge railing I stare down into the silently yawning, whirling throats; a whirling, centrifugal vortex-wheel drags me along, pulls me, and pulls! Balanced on a thin, snow-white blade, thus is he who was cast out into life! Gathering crumbs of breadcrumbs through a lifetime, Till Death, like a lawful chase, takes him! With narrowing eyes curiously fixed on me, the wan shadows of shipwrecked souls Past-remembering, meek shadows emerge from mire-thrown foam; Witnessing guardians of the possible that is!


As aerial-gymnast-samples, we may all thus balance the many certain possibilities; at another planned turn, veronal, foam of water, or poison is of no use - with conscious cowardice, human dignity confidently fails us! I stumble between reckless tumbles with purpose. I would even lie flat, like Sinbad, like a petty nobody, and probe the beating heart-******* of angelic ladies! May I remain in my falling, fallen life who I was: an eternal child in an arrogant adult world!


Thick and unsteady even now is the black, roiling stream. I feel that I have often run out of strength to face every trial like a murdering *******! The old Danube still murmurs and calls me to it! - Nowadays, the circus and the bustling ant-hill of the great world are so merged that the heart of the prodigal little man is always trembling, when he looks into the flashing, decaying Tomorrows with dignified and faltering eyes!

Like a hornet's nest - in the apostate hearts of men the knocking hatred is nesting! To the siege-voices of preaching preached in the form of incantations of incomprehension, too many are silent! Hyena-bellied, black-robed hirelings and muscle-meat-tower ******! Serpent-clouds in a lost confusion of purpose in the decaying present! Even he contemplates endless retribution Who at first proclaimed unity and demanded a soul-cleansing at every level; The accomplice and the jackal-talking shieder also forget their wicked deeds with purpose!


Like the drunkard who knocked the whisky and tequila-butcher's bottles on tap and spills his brown excrement into telephone boxes - into the gaping chasm of Theiraesia, here we go together! Their human dignity is being replaced all at once! From stripped human flesh their crunching bones will remain; to dust they will be but witnesses! It would be worth every empathetic-tolerant thought to finally act together with One-Akarat! In ourselves, we are a sneaky businessman with a silk purse!


Every hateful Satanic look is an eternal question: the future should bring change! - In one place, like cowards, unable to compromise, we have been stumbling in one place for many years in the heart of old Europe! Only a momentary idea to save the day is left: it is necessary to dress up promises that are full of holes and slipping away in circus costumes, because the loss should always be embellished!

A hundred years from now, a party girl, a cosmetic, plasticised goddess, will be so at home that she will be despised by the average man, as one who fears for his petty career and trembles! Honour deliberately digs a pit in the bottom of the pit of calculating games, and no one cares about the chattering mouth-carat of the puppets in the tabloid media!

The new-avant-garde prose line of poems is shouted down, saying: one-night stands have more east! Morals and humanity long since shed, mothers of children can't know what an uncertain livelihood and a messy tomorrow might bring!


The trembling, weeping cries of the little angels shiver like painful vapours in the abandoned alleyways of the streets! - What this present ******* Kor is extracting from itself, and creating, its pathetic beneficiaries are also, like molehills, hiding in underground, apocalyptic worlds, chewing on the hard-to-get, gnawing colonies!

A greedy food-chain insidiously lurks in the tunnels of each one's secret instincts; the strong devour the weak, the weak the weakest, and while the Golgotha-stricken vulnerable clamour for more reprieves from the company of lords and petty kings, their pathetic shipwrecked lives are consciously fearful - no-man's-land, fly-**** infects their chances of survival too!

Only laughter is cherished and preserved by the eye! A good, hearty, mischievous little laugh! The prayers of griefs, of pearls clutched in melancholy, The bleeding soul keeps shut, and we consciously fear to show Our vulnerability to our loved ones! In the walled, honeyed skies, The graceful heart-shadow hides; Like a mouldy cloak a shadow sings, at our backs! In our dizzy world there is less and less responsibility!


Like the blood from a vulnerable locust-body, something conscious oozes from me, instinct fearful of all that I feel and want to believe! Doubt and despair keep on teasing and dividing me! My boyish anguish is all gone, In a robe of stolen laughs I rather willfully weep! - The sordid layers of the unknown, wicked Future are gradually laid upon me!


The assembled biology of my body is threatened with a clattering, timed death! - The cunning, insidious supremacy of the well-informed has long since left me wanting: it would be fitting to scrape together the ruins of courage within myself, so that I may be able to Will and survive as a Man in an unknown existence! In a shower of boiling tongues of boiling catacombs, boiling in a shower of pissy bargains and betrayals, already indebted to assured career advances! The pouting vice of disguises Seems to be embodied in bargaining, selfish interests; The fierce, bickering vultures with murderous grins The bickering war of the Hienae, The bickering Mooching wars of the vultures, Drive to playable naivety!


The foolish ***** of my disadvantages! I wonder when we shall learn the selfless laws of man again, so that we may see the essence through the veneer of superficiality!