I woke up with a hole in my chest again.
In my dream I was screaming
"I miss my best friend"
On the pillow a single tear from the silent cries.
I look for you in everything.
Like I'm trying to find missing puzzle pieces the size of individual particles.
Pieces of me that shattered when I lost you.
Sometimes I find you and like a warm blanket you cover me,
Making me feel safe like only you always could.
Other times, I can't find you
And I'm left feeling broken and like maybe I wasn't as tough as you believed.
There's a scar with your name branded across my heart.
Some days I wake up and it's bleeding
Some days I wake up screaming
Most days I wake up lonely
I miss you...

Sunset is my favorite color.
When the sun paints the sky
with its most vibrant hues
as if to illustrate the divinity
of its love for the moon.
And isn't it funny that
Sunset always makes me think of you.

Marijuana kisses stolen in the front seat
Lips curved into smiles
Fingers curled against your chest
Butterflies in a frenzy
Fogged windows
Gasping breaths
High off the moment
And lingering in it with you.

In my dreams
I'm finding you
beneath the stars,
on a sunny day,
in the rain,
on a clear night,
between the sheets,
in the middle of the afternoon,
before the sun comes up
...it will always be you.

Summer always makes me restless.
It brings out the truth in my bones,
the ache, the dream, the internal screams,
that sit dormant
waiting to be heard
all year long.

The taste of heat soaked rebellion
mixed with too sweet air that clings to my lungs, leaving me gasping.
Sweat glistens at the base of my throat,
and I dare the sun to burn its image into my eyelids.

Summer makes me gaze at every plane overhead
wondering where they are going,
and if I can come too.
It would be so easy to board a flight,
destination unknown.
Following the horizon
and sunsets fading glow.

Clear sky nights,
flickering insect stars piercing the darkness,
a symphony of crickets and cicadas.
Warm air resting on my skin that still holds heat from the day.

I could spend forever chasing Summer.

It's getting bad again.
That, Summer time
restless melancholy *******.
That, I want to crawl out of my skin,
drive into forever sunsets,
need my music so loud my ears ring.
That, frustrated with the mundane,
trying to stir up chaos,
wanting to be anywhere else
wanting to be anyone else.
That, feeling that suffocates me,
keeps me up at night
staring at stars,
at the clouded night sky,
staring into streetlights
until tears burn my eyes.
It's getting bad again
and I can't ******* stand it.