Tonight the stars and constellations glistened brightly,
A lovely display contrasting with the dark canvas above.

Yet my attention was not directed at the night sky’s beauty,
For I found myself looking somewhere other than upward.

I’d never dream that I’d have the pleasure of meeting somebody,
Who makes the heavens themselves appear mundane.

I remember when you would show me your songs
ones you personally wrote.
I'd read them constantly
scanning every page
every line
every word
looking everywhere
even in between the lines
For any traces of what you thought about me
For any evidence or proof
that I was on your mind
Sometimes I occasionally go back and read them
remembering
hoping
but also knowing
if you were to write about me know
I doubt the words would be anything kind.

A body made of clay
Dry and cracking
That is the state of being
That I'm currently in.

I've stretched myself
Again to my limit
Giving and giving
Till I have nothing left to give.

Yet I selfishly keep going
Because heaven forbid
I help myself
Before I help my friends.

They are the people I love
And they need me
So I keep stretching and pulling
Making myself empty again.

But now my body is sore
I can feel it breaking
From the pressure
I've placed on myself.

Please give me a little time
To fix my body of clay
So I don't fall apart
And become the one who needs help.

Is it ok to be afraid of the things I'd have to give up?
The changes I'd have to go through?
The parts of me I'm have to sacrifice?
Just to be with you
I love being with you
But
I'm scared of becoming unfamiliar
different
someone unrecognizable
That potential change scares me
Its something I think about often when we're together
However
I think that if you loved me
Despite my changes
Being unfamiliar would be worthwhile

Dear Younger Me,

So you’re taking another step into your future. It’s tempting to just look behind you and all the opportunities you’ve missed. But what’s the use in doing so? Will that help you move forward? NO! So keep your eyes open and look ahead. God has a plan for you. All you need is to take a step of faith. Yes there is uncertainty and there is doubt; however, when you trust God and take that step, He will use you in ways that you can’t even comprehend.

Sincerely,
A slightly older me

Dear Younger Me,

Why must you be afraid? It’s saddening to see that the worries you have are eating you up. Be aware! Your anxious spirit is only going to harm you. God loves you and His love makes no room for fear. Cling to His love and His peace with every fiber of your being. Fearful thoughts are full of lies and deceit. Don’t give them the chance to overwhelm you. It’s harder to see God’s plan for you when they do. Your worries may seem too strong but trust me God’s love is stronger.

Sincerely,
A slightly older me

Dear Younger Me,

It’s ok to admit that you don’t know everything. It’s not your job to know everything. Your mental and emotional health is just as important as your physical wellbeing. There’s no need to apologize for everything. Sometimes stuff happens and that’s ok. You don’t have to please everyone. You will never be able to in the first place. You are young and you're learning. Bad grades happen. No one is perfect. Your IQ isn’t what defines you. Choose your friends wisely because they make up a huge part of your life. Be willing to ask questions. Learn about other people.  Finally, remember God is there even when it seems like no one else is.

Sincerely,
A slightly older me

Why do I like him?

Is it because he's attractive?
Because he's smart, funny, and talented?

Is it because he's different?
Because he's goofy, insightful, and unique?

Is it because he's nice?
Because he's kind, understanding, and sincere?

Is it because we're similar?
Because we have similar beliefs, hobbies, and interests?

Those are all likely possibilities,
But maybe its more than just that.

Or maybe its just that I like him,
And thats all the reasoning I need.

I just like him. That's why.

I am dumb, stupid, and unintelligent,
I an barely write for I am inelliquent.

But are those two statements ones I believe?
Do I doubt myself with little reprieve?

And are those words even the truth?
And if they are, where is the proof?

Who  says my intelligence is my only value?
Or that my skills or talents are very few?

I don't have answers for these questions here'
But I have been given advice so dear.


"You are not stupid,
For stupidity is foolishness.
You are not dumb,
For the dumb cannot speak."


I am more than the knowledge I store,
I am worth more than anyone could bargin for.

My skills don't define me,
My IQ isn't my identity.

I was given a purpose I will one day see,
For thats why I believe God created me.

He's given me an imaginative mind.
He's blessed me with the desire to be caring and kind.

Does this mean I don't doubt anymore?
That I don't wonder what my purpose is for?

I still doubt, even with proof,
But I know I can always turn to the truth.

I just remember that simple phrase,
This quote that reminds me everyday.


"I am not stupid,
For stupidity is foolishness.
I am not dumb,
For the dumb cannot speak."

And just because I don't know everything, doesn't mean I'm weak.

Lord how great is your creation,
Your glory radiates across the nation.
For this, I praise you.

You have everything in your hands,
Even things I will never understand.
That's why I praise you.

You lead those who have gone astray,
One by one you lead the way.
And they shall praise you.

And though I don't deserve your embrace,
Lord you give me constant grace.
And I shall praise you.

Lord thank you for all you have done,
For your grace is for everyone.
May I forever praise you.

His eyes are the kind,
That poets write about,
That artists hope to recreate,
And songs and stories continuously praise.
they are bright.
lovely.
colorful.
And full of life.
In other words,
His eyes are beautiful.

Lord I need time,
To rest my soul.
For I am tired and weary.

This heart of mine,
Has taken its toll.
And needs rest so dearly.

For I can’t do this alone,
I am merely flesh and bone.
God please come ease my soul.

I can’t hold on to,
This hurt anymore.
It can’t capture me forever.

Lord please make me new,
My spirit is sore.
Heal me for the better.

My heart aches,
I don’t have what it takes.
God please come ease my soul.

Lord I need peace,
Pray that I no longer fear.
Being hurt or forgotten.

Pray that this aching will cease,
And you’ll hold me near.
One day my soul will brighten.

You hear me as I cry out,
You’re the one I long to learn about.
God please come ease my soul.