SallyGoesRoar

SallyGoesRoar Jun 2018

Dive

Looking over the city's lights
My sight becomes blurry
The traffic lights stream together
An electrifying line of light
I feel a rhythm beat inside me
I can sense it building
Outside the moon is bright
The ocean is in high tide
I open the window to the world below
The hum of traffic fills the room
A gust of wind comes through
Billowing curtains towards me
Pushing my hair away from my face
I am reclusive but don't feel alone
I wonder why we build a temporary future
I wonder why we shun away the idea of an eternal life
I need to escape this city before it consumes me
I'll keep a watchful eye on the night sky
Until I sink into the morning sun
I sense my soul is on a different path
But not of least resistance
I make my way to an imaginary ledge
With eyes closed and arms spread wide
I take a deep breath and dive

SallyGoesRoar Jun 2018

Sleep

I want to sleep
The kind of want that burns in your chest
Reaching for something that isn’t there
Being shut out over and over again
I can’t turn it off
The thoughts are being thrown around my head
Like a snitch in a quidditch match
Mythical, impossible
And yet there it is buzzing
Bouncing off the sides of my head
Waiting to be caught
I count back from ten like usual
Doesn’t work
I play deep sleep sounds on Alexa
Brains still on
Make it shut off!!!!
Make the feelings of helplessness disappear
To sleep is to dream
To dream is to escape
Just one night of escape is all I ask
I shut my eyes and my dreams begin to dance
Finally

SallyGoesRoar May 2018

Memories

The memories of my past haunt me
Emotions that my heart can’t handle
We spend so much time forcing ourselves to preserve memories
How did I forgot how to feel?
To forget to breathe?
Learning to just “cope” wasn’t possible
I needed to unlock the memories and deal with them
One by one
Piece by piece
Dissecting them and finding the cause
Only then can I move on
Only then can I being to feel
I can see it and almost taste it
The hauntings are gone and all that’s left is happy
Room to store new memories
I say goodbye to the ghost of boyfriend’s past
Until we meet again old friend

SallyGoesRoar May 2018

Request for a perfect life

It starts as a dull ache
Trembling, shaking, jostled awake
Time passes and the throbbing is deep
Cant catch my breath, cant sleep
This pain inside cant escape
This is my life, My twisted fate
How long must this last?
Being punished for things in my past
I'm no longer a young girl
Gone are the days of jumps and twirls
The ribbon once tied in my hair
Now sits in a box on the shelf over there
I not quite sure where it all went wrong
The days once fast are now twice as long
For once I wish I could just catch a break
To enjoy my life, nothing at stake
Sunshine, beaches and peaceful nights
Just a few simple requests for a perfect life

#depression #anxiety #chronic #illness

SallyGoesRoar May 2018

Void replaced

It’s late at night and I can’t sleep
Midnight thoughts consuming me
Some nights I wish I could have a break
From all these thoughts, they’re yours to take
My burdens are a lot to bear
His feelings brought from past despair
His hearts been broken and slowly shattered
Mines a vacant hole that’s dark and tattered
I pick up the shards one by one
Stopping to soothe a bleeding thumb
Piece by piece I put it back
But it’s not whole, it’s filled with cracks
I take out what was left of mine
I fill his gaps and watch them shine
I kiss his lips and let it sit
His hearts now mine, a perfect fit
Slowly filling up the space
Two hearts now one, the voids replaced

#love #heartbreak #healing

SallyGoesRoar May 2018

Dark and Light

I can feel the rise and fall of my chest with each breath I take
Cant feel the pain or sadness anymore
Counting back from 10, 9, 8
Just a little bit to take the edge off
Just one chance to escape

The warmth washes over me like the sun on a summer day
I can sense the “feelings” I trapped inside trying to come back out and play
But not this time, not today

This is my war to fight
My dark and light
Relive the troubles, or see constant reminders of all my sins?
The question - Who will win?