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SiouxF Nov 2020
Today I ask for a sign oh Lord
That you do truly exist
To help me believe
And take a leap of faith
So I know, in spite of my many errors and faults
And tangled thoughts that tie me up in knots,
There is hope
There is purpose
There is love
I am loved
You love me
I love me
SiouxF Nov 2020
As human beings
We need to believe in something,
Otherwise we drift through life
Purposelessly
Aimlessly
Hopelessly
Not reaching our potential,
For we are all here to help one another
To lift each other up
To support and guide and care.
Without faith and belief
We feel disconnected
Lost
Hopeless
Lonely,
Our ego and self absorption
Hiding us from the truth,
Our truth,
Increasing separation
Anxiety
And discombobulation,
Rather than connection
Purpose
And Oneness
With all living things.
What to believe in is up to you and based on your culture and what you’ve been told,
Though be careful of man made religion designed to control according to human narrative,
But God is a good starting point.
A higher being connecting all of us through love not fear,
Who is always there for us
In love, compassion and forgiveness
No matter who we are or what we do
We only need to ask and invite Him in.
SiouxF Nov 2020
‘What’s wrong with you?’
Was the bane of my childhood.
Without waiting for my answer,
Accused
Judged
Found lacking
And sentenced
Without me even uttering a word in my defence
Other than protestations of unfairness and injustice,
All swept aside and ignored
For my voice carried no weight or import.
Then punished whether guilty or not.
And even now still hung, drawn and quartered without my side of the story being heard or even asked.
Judged
Found guilty
And sentenced
In absentia.
When what I need now is a supportive
‘What happened to you?’
With empathy
With compassion
And a gentle caring ear
SiouxF Nov 2020
Bucket list item,
A dream come true,
In my 50th year
An extra in a film,
Not just any film,
But big feature film with famous stars!
5:30am early start,
Breakfast in individual covid pods,
Undergarments on,
Hair and makeup,
Outer clothes on,
Boots brushed,
Creases steamed,
Lipstick touched up,
Hair curled and sprayed within an inch of its life,
Top to tail inspection,
Bussed to holding area,
Hours of waiting,
Deep and meaningful conversations,
Histories divulged,
Books devoured,
Ping pong with sellotaped paper ***** and paper plates!,
Sleeping,
3 meals a day
Preened and touched up some more,
Line up
Yet another inspection,
Walk to set.
Back to holding area.
Walk to set,
This time we’re on.
Sometimes told where to start,
Other times make it up yourself,
With very little direction.
1930’s German,
Unshapely winter coat and thick woollen tights
Looking 20 years older ******!
Walking along German street
Trams and old cars,
And mashed paper snow!,
Glancing in shop windows
As the main protagonists walk on by,
Sometimes repeat after repeat after repeat after repeat
Of 10 seconds of filming from every angle,
And others wrapped after 1-2 takes.
Freezing cold, rain, sun, never puts us off,
******* screens to block out the sun
Blue screens at the end of the street and the top of buildings,
Sheltering from the rain in shop doors in between takes,
Bonnets on, masks on,
Get in position, bonnets off, masks off.
“Rolling” they shout,
Klaxon sounds,
“Action vehicles”,
“Action background”,
“Action”
Here we go again.
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