I am the color you forgot to bleach
The gospel you will never preach
The lesson you will never teach
Just a grain of sand on your neat beach.

I am the story you will never hear
The novel you will never read
A person you will never meet
And can I even call you mean?

For once and all I end this here
Won't look for you in every sphere
I'll be present, I'll be near
On Friday nights might wipe some tears.

Your aciding words ignited
the fire inside me..

JEALOUSLY

you tried to wash
down my flames..

EVEN THOUGH YOU SUCCEDED

still i'm the smoke rising up
and you are the ash ,still beneath me..

if love was measured by a grain of sand,
we'd comprise a beach...
when it's time to embrace,
your's are the arms that i reach..

As my heart plummets, I feel its weight
Oh my stomach... it's not what I ate
I'm in a trance, can you relate?
Give me a chance, let me reiterate

If I deigned to inform you, if I were to say
I'll die alone; would you then pray
Or would you be inconvenienced for a day?
Let me say it a different way

I walk in the dark, bruises and  bumps
Without any talk, my body jumps
As my heart pumps, I'm falling fast
Until the thump, which I feel last

Don’t ask what to buy to brighten a room
Just change your mindset to lighten the gloom.
It’s a choice to trust and lust
After things that will turn to dust.

An object fought for will be forsaken,
A thing sought after will be taken away.
Look how it goes to waste,
Losing its smell, losing its taste.

Search your soul;
Have you noticed those pinned to the floor?
The things they bought have come to life,
Cutting and slashing their hope like a knife.

Walls can shrink,
And ghosts dwell in places you wouldn’t think.
Remember those ghosts, which things couldn't save;
For what they loved most, has become their grave.

Pain caused by misunderstanding
It's what I gained from mishandling my life.
When fear turns my stomach and I feel hot,
I try to imagine I'm someone I'm not.

Pain makes me lose control and twitch.
Is there a soul who can get me out of this ditch?
I've tried fighting, I've bloodied my fists;
I tried biting my tongue, but the pain persists.

I look to God, asking for help with this,
Meanwhile he acts like he doesn't exist.
My world consists of an impassable wall,
When I sleep, I'm curled up into a ball.

I'm too insane to work or sing.
I want for nothing, cause I hate everything.
All I can do is patiently endure,
Like Jesus said, and resist the accuser.