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Here in the gray light of dawn
I see you, gentle and tender,
approaching us
and I am in wonder
thinking of my ignorant and obstinate species
and curious about why you keep coming back to us
you beautiful being
each morning and twilight.

My deep sleep dreams disturb
confuse and trouble my mind,
but awake here and now I find
the placid lake of your presence
and abide in your uncanny arrival.
I have been thinking about the recent alignment of Jupiter and Saturn in the twilight sky. This alignment  of the two planets and ours is called a conjunction. The last time humans saw such a close conjunction was 800 years ago. And the experience of this near approach reminds me of the awesomeness and force of the universe, yet it seems such a tender quiet moment like the arrival of dawn.
In vain to me the smiling mornings shine,
And redd’ning Phoebus lifts his golden fire:
The birds in vain their amorous descant join;
Or cheerful fields resume their green attire:
These ears, alas! for other notes repine,
A different object do these eyes require:
My lonely anguish melts no heart but mine;
And in my breast the imperfect joys expire.
Yet morning smiles the busy race to cheer,
And new-born pleasure brings to happier men:
The fields to all their wonted tribute bear;
To warm their little loves the birds complain:
I fruitless mourn to him that cannot hear,
And weep the more, because I weep in vain.
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Don't worry mum.
I'm worse than you think
But no way near as bad as you fear.
I will never believe in your God
But I will always have faith in You.
I care not for what you preach.
I care only for what you do.
I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.
A sprinkling of fairy dust early in the morning
an airy dawn arrives on the wings of an angel
music of nature flutes by with all its first bring  
I own daylight quills and Longfellow's archangel
While the rose sleeps beneath the moist earth
safely beneath the snow  waiting for rebirth
guardians of the galaxy are closing in on stars
I don't hear a sound not even the tooting of cars
Outside the breeze is slipping through the trees
as quietly as the memes of God's silent smiles
I own hopes so big they bring me to my knees
and a belief that will help me through the miles
Dance while you still can He says to my heart,  
as I hear the sound of music, ... I do my part.
 Dec 2020 Samual Hidden
abby
am I actually missing him
or missing the person
I built in my head
to fill the emptiness
of not knowing
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