Hand in Hand.

Your hands were the first thing I loved.
Chapped by harsh times
We held them clasped together till the life was choked out of us
Hands embraced around feelings and hormones.
Clasped so tightly we took a blind leap over the cliffs of loneliness
The landing is always rough but I still miss their warmth.
Hand in hand hearts entangled then broken apart by the tie loosened.
Still the sweet sweatiness of time and love embraced by a firm
grasp of wanting to be comforted.
And maybe held close in a digital embrace.
Hands so warm at first, cooled by time and impact
Still memories of them remain
Chapped but integral to a thing that was true then apocryphal.


-Fin.

On the last day of May
There we lay
You pressed your forehead against mine
Your hand on the back of my neck
Holding me closer than ever before
You were leaving its true
The question was who me or him?
I could tell in the lilt
Of a dispassionate chord in your voice
That the answer lay as it always does
On the last day of May in the eyes impossible to see
As you pressed your head against mine.
If only youd tilt your mane upward and smile that blast of heavenly rays
And say with conviction we will return soon
To how we once were before the May of our doom.
I know it was cast the die of our fates
If only April or March again
But May always come marching inevitably along.
Its impossible to delay
The last day of us in the last month of me.

-Fin
Slo 6-'16

We werent always so distant she demurred
Caught in the riptides of youth and fancy
Whimsical and conceited free and unspoiled
Your future father and me
Unplanned and unexpected a whim unleashed
Experiences explored passion requited
We entered each others lives
broke through and swirled around the glass
of life unfettered
Eyes penetrating youthful attraction
Experienced a fleeting high
Doomed from the beginning left with a permanent
Memory a memo to a time of light
and fancy lust and ecstasy
We were the ones who found excitement
and thought for a shinning moment that
all was wonderful and bright and cheery
In a youthful ultra color saturated moment of time.

No. 116


I should have loved her
Instead I loved her friend
I will never forget when she walked away
Not out of my life just the room
The woman who loved me
Disgraced for the woman I sought
I should have wanted her
I should have held her close
She was immeasurably sweet and loving, intelligent and fun
Instead I went for her (our) friend who was nothing but attractive
I spent months without true feelings fueling a farce that
always ends badly.
Even after she broke up with her fiancé to date me we were
not to last as it is ever written
I ended up outside her apartment with tears sitting in her car
It ended and the three of us were altered.
I should have been smart but I sinned against right and mistook
friend for lover.
When lovers abscond, the friend never re-compensates the loss.
I miss the us all these many years later and
mourn the affection that I should have maintained.
The I massacred the triumph of kinship.
I miss them, the two girls.
One I should of loved and the one that I did
If only momentarily.

Fin.

While I slept the world changed
As the day broke so did my consciousness
What to awake to out of so many fates?
To arise to hope or plunge to despair?
And what to the dawn did my slumber unveil?
A world as different as the mind has thoughts
What did I form by my wandering imagination
But a new world changed not only in thought
But transformed into a new existence
While I slept, the world not only changed, but I knew, so had I
For the third eye saw the dawn and gently wept away its conception
Man has the world and slumber the night
How I make this new day is up to my will and creativity
A new day or a new way of dreaming?
Only the unconscious knows and it remains chaste and reticent
While I dreamt a new existence was formed and dashed a thousand fold
New wonders rose and fell as the crashing of a galactic tide
All oblivious to this I sighed and tossed in reverie
The eye was blind but the soul ever glimpsed a fleeting fate
Formed by the gossamer wings of fancy and erected into something more
Capriciously I awake to a world not only changed on the outside
But altered in precept in the core of what makes me internally whole.

Love never fully goes away
It sinks deeper into the marrow
Entwines around the sensitive organs
Submerged below conscious but entrails remain
It changes form and shape
The intensity modulates
We are a congregate of our indefatigable sharing
Our connections made between receptive nerves
Once we come together, the neurons form
permanent connections deeply engrained and cast
A gestalt of feelings some hidden deep
into an archeology of merged soul residue

Exorbitant Compensation

No 115

She described deep feelings of loneliness and depression
I should of cared
She talked about all that left her less than whole
I should of listened
She went on about medical needs
I removed the syntax from the words
She looked to me
I looked past her
She was a bloated emptiness
I was the same

fin