I think I’m broken beyond repair.
Not in pieces you can pick up
but in the quiet places no one sees.

They say healing takes time,
but what if time has already passed me by?
What if the cracks run too deep,
the damage too permanent,
the light too far gone?

I try.
God knows, I try.
To stand, to smile,
to hold together what keeps slipping through.
Like shattered glass
held by nothing
but will.

They look at me
like I’m supposed to be whole by now.
Fixed.
Better.
But they don’t understand
this isn’t pain.
This is ruin.
And you can’t glue something
that’s been broken this many times.

I’m tired.
Of surviving.
Of pretending.
Of being the one left behind
while others step into forever.

I wish I knew when it would be my turn.
But I don’t.
And I don’t know how to live
as someone I no longer recognize.

Still,
somehow,
I’m here.
Not healed.
But here.

I never asked for forever
I just wanted to be seen
To hold a place in your light
Not be kept behind the screen

You never had to say it
I felt the leaving in your eyes
In the way I stayed a secret
While someone else got your sky

I told myself it was enough
The half-love, the waiting, the quiet
But silence turned into questions
And the answers just came in riots

I would’ve stayed, you know
Even when it hurt
Even when I felt like a shadow
Lost beneath your worth

But you didn’t choose me
And maybe you never did
You moved on like I was nothing
While I’m still learning how to live

Still, I won’t curse your name
I won’t beg you to stay
Even if it shattered me
I will love you
Either way

There was a time wasn’t there
When your laugh filled the quiet
When even silence felt soft because it belonged to us
Now all I hear is that space where you used to be

I walk past places we knew
The ghost of your voice clinging to the air
Every streetlight flicker feels like a reminder
Every sunset feels like it watched us fall apart

I thought I saw you yesterday
Or maybe I only wanted to
The world blurs
Because I’m still looking for your outline in the crowd

Is this what you wanted
To leave me tangled in what ifs
In a song that keeps playing
Even when you stopped listening

I’ve tried to forget
But forgetting you is like trying to unhear the waves
Or untaste the rain

It’s always been about you
And maybe it always will

they step into love,
into family, into forever,
while i stand still,
in the waiting room of life.

they ask me,
“when’s your turn?”
and i smile, but my heart whispers,
“i wish i knew.”

still holding on,
to a hope that feels like it’s slipping through my fingers,
yet somehow,
i can’t let it go

I’m not living anymore
I’m just here
Breathing
Existing
Waking up because I have to
Not because I want to

The truth is something inside me broke
And no one noticed
Not even the one I gave everything to

I used to believe in love
In building something real
But now I just watch life pass me by
People falling in love
Getting married
Starting families
And I’m still stuck
Left behind
Wondering what’s so wrong with me that I keep ending up alone

I wasn’t asking for perfect
Just to be seen
To be chosen
To be loved without having to beg for it

But now I don’t even feel human
Just a body moving through days that all feel the same
I laugh when I have to
Smile so no one asks questions
But deep down
I’m tired
Tired of pretending this doesn’t hurt
Tired of acting like I’m okay

I’m not
I’m just trying to survive a life that doesn’t feel like mine anymore