When I was younger I often had this nightmare an actual fear that I’ve developed since I knew the truth; You’re peacefully limp body on our old bathroom floor, with a rubber band around your arm and needle in hand. Though I've never seen you personally in this state I have this image vividly burned in the back of my mind. I've been sheltered yet so close to your drug addiction, only seeing parts of the things you've done. Only getting to see you when you were "feeling better" after the od.
I still remember when they told me, I was afraid for you but I wasn't even almost surprised. I began to realize thinking of something happening to you became a normal thought for me. The nightmares became my reality. Your poor decisions and horrible taste in men leaves your children scared.. no matter how many times you get the chance to change, you never will.And I'll never get used to that nor will I ever give up hope.