i'm sorry
i didn't mean to
i know i promised
but you locked me outside of the door

but the knife
was so welcoming
when you locked me out
it invited me in

it was cold out there
and the knife had a welcome mat

today
he said he loved me again
my one and only friend
he said that it would never
happen again

so i cried
prayed
cut away the pain
i wasn't good enough
that's why he hurt me
right?

it's hard to figure out
why you're a punching bag
why everynight
he comes home drunk
and with your hair
he drags you
to his bedroom
the only thing you couldn't do
escape

he was too strong
you fell in love with how strong he was

so you let yourself
be his punching bag
as long as he said
i love you
nevermind the punches
and drags
because his "tough love"
was all the love you had

it was hard to figure out
why he was so mad

so they lived their lives again
sins commeted
deed done
she just tried not to let him influence
her one and only son
because it's
hard
to look at your parents
as heros
when your father is the villian
your father bonds with you the most
but you need to
stay away from him
but it's
hard

when your father controls
your every
single
move

you grow up seeing your father hit girls
it doesn't matter to you
you wanna do it to

so you get in fights at school
there's a pool
of teachers
asking you
why do you act so cool?

coming to school
with bruises
as if there's nothing else to do

the crule
punching bag rules
change
when it's not you

you see your child
bleeding
crying
you die inside

you protected him with all your heart
but you can't do anything outside
the overwhelming sadness
brings you to the ketchen

she knows she can't go back
next time she sees him
he's drunk again
it's time again

for her to remember
everything he did

remembering the ****** lyrics
to her own sad song
taking out the knife
as he stumbles along
she thrusts

as if this is the only way to breathe
her son comes home from school
right after she cleans

he asks
"where is daddy
where has he gone?"

it was hard to speak for years
but the one thing she said was
"right where he belongs"

the only thing that makes sense in this world
is that i am not a person

why else would i not have freedom of speech
why else would my rights be subjected
why else would you close your ears when i talk

the only thing that gives me peace at night
is knowing i will some day be like you

but until then
i am not human
i am not a person
*i am a child

now frozen is a tale about a girl who has some powers
but forget to tell
from heaven or hell
where did they come from?

the the boloved cliche of love at first sight
cruched by her sister
but the delivery was not right
instead of being nice and saying
"maybe take it slow"
she tells her sister it's stupid
"if you don't like it then just go"

so the gloves she held so tightly
conceling
never meant to show
were stolen by here sister who just wanted to know
"why are you waring them?"
as if stealing imagination can save the kids from a world
of ice

so instead of staying
explaining
to the world who loves her so
instead of being royal and not running
she lets it go

so her sister turns to no other
then her love at first sight
to take care of elsa's kingdom
while she travles through the night

while she isn't used to snowy weather
all she wants is to see her sister
because unlike elsa with her kindom she cannot let it go

so she turns to a stranger
with what he calls a talking randeer
maybe she's a little too trusting with her men?
well he thinks so

meanwhile at the ice kingdom

while elsa is making her ice castle
with a lengendary song
she has no idea who she is hurting
by not telling what is going on

but that song though

so the quest
the test of love is at stake
because elsa grew up
surronded by her mistake
the hate
of those glove
trying to control her every move
no wonder she had to let it go
so

it took so long for her to realze
it was not her mistake
she didn't know why this happened
but now she had to take
it
and keep it close
your mistakes make you stronger
if you let it go then you'll forget

so now the beginning of the problem
the love at first sight
causing the problem
for her sister now hair white
because nothing can change the heart
except love
true love
it might not be at first sight
but it's sister's for a lifetime

sometimes a single tear
can change what's inside

i was up there
on the chair
feeling underground

they said i was the underdog
they meant i was a hound
i was up there on the chair
feeling like a queen overthrown by the silence
but you still told me to dream

i was up there on that chair
thinking of the writing
everyday i was fighting for something i couldn’t do
i was up there on the chair
thinking of you calling us family
but telling me what i couldn’t do.

i was up there on the chair
thinking of my face
every single cut and bruise
now it’s the end of the race

i wish that i could speak, but speech is for the important

i was just there

nothing but a stare

waiting for you to say “i love you”

but i had to choose

i didn't’ want to take all the mental abuse

so on this chair i think of words

big small

or not there at all

everything you should have said

everything you shouldn't have said

when i asked

“if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?”

you said no

but you told me i was as strong as an oak

do you not here my fall?

are you not here at all?

“you wanted me to grow, but lowered my self esteem.

if you wanted me to be fixed

you shouldn’t have pulled me at the seams”

so now i’m up here on this chair, thinking of the words

all the silence

i just wanted to be heard

i

am

the chair

just like it does now

i fall

and yes you would hear a tree in the forest

**it cannot make it’s own fall

sing me a lullaby i want to forget
what you told me to admit
i can’t sleep knowing you’re near
making sure my life is here
asking mother why do you let this happen
with tears in her eyes
she says there’s nothing left for me to do
a nightmare taking over you
a teardrop on a bed for two
the lie that you loved me was never true
oh father
you were against me all along.

i never cried like this before
my heart slamming against against my sanities door
no more
you
i cried so hard
my eyes were sore
when i thought you left
and slammed the door

my tears were on the floor
while i was trying to get god to help
send a messege through his doors
the only thing i said was
"God please help her"

when i thought you were gone
i wrote a song
saying exacly what was going on

though i didn't know the full story
i still thought i could help

but then you came back

this is my first time
witnessing a miracal

i saw a little girl
in my backyard
eyes as white as day
aways asking if i could come out and play
but the danger that is out there
is telling me to stay

she comes back every time
she thinks my life is about to end
but i've gone through a lot
and i still have fight within

but this time

frozen  closed out
never going out
the cold is too much for me
the last time she called me
i felt a little more ready

because now it's freezing inside
and there's nowhere else to hide
so she reached out her hand
and it was wormer this time

the best thing to do in a train wreak?
don't be the defective breaks

another year goes by
where you are growing
tremendously
in a good way
not another day goes by
that i don't look up to you

not another second goes by
that i don't admire your inner beauty
for 15 years of being strong
your doing good

happy birthday Chloe

her whole life was a vision
the rain was a mirror
but a mere reflection of the challenges she could not see
he
was a long time ago but still changed the thought of gravity
shaking the earth every time he would speak
shaking life into her though she was dead underneath
a welcome mat
hanging on the floor of humanity
and she tried to get past it but the only thing she saw in her dreams
was he

he
was the man
who brought her to his bed
he made the thought swirling in her head
and in the eyes of the man she loved
she saw he instead

her only hope
was when it rained
to her
it was Gods reminder
that he sees your tears
as the black and blue
on that little girl
matured over the years

she was locked out of freedom
her thoughts were suicidal
and that little girl
of black and blue
came into her spirit
bridle

when her husband
could not touch her
and when she could not believe
that he loved her
that is when she knew she needed to be set free

so in the rain
she cried out
"i can't do this on my own
if you can take the pain away
i don't' want it to end this way"

and years later
after the process of
forgetting some of the pain

with her husband
and their children
*they all walked in the rain

i* cried every night
my head was in my heart
i told myself i wasn't strong enough
i didn't even know how to start
telling you my goodbye
in your eyes i saw
my pain
in your disappointment
*could i live with that?