what would a world be
without defined beauty
as media defines it
how would that come to be?

every baby on earth
has worth
beauty
how it should be
but nobody knows
what beauty means
you don't see it in a mirror
though your mirror is you
that's beauty to
you see it in a dream

in the darkest of worlds
she stands up tall
in each and every fairy tale
she is fairest of them all

you see beauty in a pure heart
every night going to bed knowing you've play'd your part
and she has
i'm proud to be me
"i don't want you to stand up for me
i want you to stand beside me"
Lizzie Velasquez

i'm with you Lizzie

we can all pretend we’re perfect
that church ain't worth it
that drugs and alcohol make us worthy
wait
worthy of what a debate?
so what’s on your plate?
nothing but emptiness and hate
and that’s great
at least i know why you treat me this way
so here’s to saying i’m no different
drugs and alcohol
i’m with them
and i can’t change even if i tried
but wait
what do i have to change
you don’t even know me
but you pretend i’m the only one who’s gone through the worst
me?
i’m flattered but
you see
i’m just a stereotype
trying to get past
but i get beat down by the headlights
i’m a drive by
trying to drive by my future
but i can’t
because my past is trying to tell me that i’m horrible
but i can’t
i can’t stand that people try to tell me who i am
i can’t stand that i’m horrible
for telling you who i am
and on land
i’m a bad influence
but in water
i’m the man
you don’t understand
that i’m a fish trying to find it’s way in the ocean
and those mistakes
are just my gills
i breathe them in and stop breathing
because someone is always pulling me out of water
it’s like the Mexican border
Protected by what's within
it’s a sin
for me to be where i’m supposed to be
but see
it’s not me
it’s the stereotype
and its trickery
it makes you think that you know me
but what you don’t see
THAT’S NOT THE WORST THING THAT’S HAPPENED TO ME
so let me be
let me speak
i have to get it out of me
that hate in my gills shouldn't be there when i breathe
so go ahead and stereotype
but i’m not the only one who has to get something off my chest
but i’m the best
because I've made it through every test
and though you think you can bring me down
I've made it through every test
**so let me speak before you think i’m just the same as the rest

you forgot who you were
didn't know where to go
your friends have seen it all
i know you think you're alone
they just forgot to call

you were jaded
but you made it
through another ****** hall
another secret
you have to keep it
but your knife has seen it all

you lost everything you had
a shaky bridge
no one can cross it
at all
i know you think you're alone
but you have seen it all

and though you think that jumping
is a way to end your wrong
the drivers have seen it
God has seen it
and the bridge has seen it all

just like a statue
i stand
waiting for your command

just like the wind
i dance
waiting for you to glance over
so i know
i have your permission to go

there is nothing you tell me
that i haven't seen

there is not one wall
that you show me
where i have not yet
leaned

my eyes are so experienced
the world will never be clean

so just like the wind
i dance
just like the sun
i glow
just like the darkness
i scream

**i'm too jaded to know where to go

trust
once you have mine
i have to start over
trust is an addiction
and i'm trying to get sober
the trusted know you the most
and no one really knows me
i can't trust you with my life
because when i'm dead it'll be on me
my secrets are mine
and mine only

to me
trust is a bridge
you know i can cross to your side
but you can't come to mine
because two half's don't make a whole
they make another line
so maybe next time

i don't know why i'm like this
speechless
walking around with four walls around me
leadless

whatever happened to me
to make you untrustable to me
i know
i sorry
it's wrong
though i can't trust you
you can trust me
because *i know that i can belong

but i can't let you have my trust
i can't start over
i can't get addicted again
*i have to get sober

what if you could do anything in the world
what would you do
would you do something different
if nobody looked at you?

what if you could change the way you looked
would you really want to
if nobody talked to you?

what if you could change the way you felt about someone
would you go through with it
if you knew how much they loved you?

i can see people
like they don't see themselves
i know who you are
that's why you won't tell
a liar is worse
then a killer in my eyes
a lie takes you by the heart
but does not take you by surprise

if you grow up a liar
you grow up a bully
your heart is faint and cold
you don't need breath
you take the breath of others
but it's OK

it's a joke
lying is just a joke to you
it has no meaning
well the next time you think to tell jokes
add a little feeling

i don't understand
can someone tell me
why you think of yourselves
when someone doesn't have the ability?

right at this time someone is committing suicide
they walked right past you
you looked into their eyes
could you not see it in their eyes?

but it's not your problem
so you set it aside
it becomes YOUR problem
when they look into YOUR eyes

One two three four
Turn around and shut the door
Five six seven eight
You say you love me
But now it's too late…
amanda
my never ending story begins here.
when i was in 7th grade
i would go on webcam with my friends
so i could meet and and talk to new people
and the compliments did not end…
then…
someone said
“show me a little more of your beauty”
i was in seventh grade
nieve i didn’t care
then 1 year later
a facebook message told me
that picture is still there
amanda
the man who sent this message to me
new everything about me
how he got that information
i don’t know
but on christmas break
i didn’t think anything of it
it was too late
for him to do anything
my life was great
but a knock knock knock at 4 am
change the way i felt
my picture was sent to everyone
i felt like i was in hell
this lead to anxiety
all the time i tried to hide me
amanda
didn’t want to go out in summer
because i knew that mistake would find me
amanda
and it did
it found me in different substances and alcohol
my anxiety got worse than it ever was before  
a year past and the man sent me the list of my new school and friends
just when i thought the torcher would end
but it got worse
this time it was a facebook page
the picture of my “beauty” was his profile
i
amanda
cried every night
lost my friends and respect again
walked down the hall being called names
being judged
again
i would never get that photo back
it was out there forever
so i started to cut
and i promised myself never
i had no friends
sat at lunch alone
so i moved schools again
just to be alone
but it was better this time
a month later i started talking to an old friend
he was a guy
we texted back and forth
and it was kinda nice
but then it got better
and he said he liked me
but he had a girlfriend
but he still liked me
so one day he said
“come over, my gf is away”
so like the teenager i was
i
amanda
made a mistake
we
got together
i thought he liked me
but just like every other
that mistake found me
one week later he texted me
amanda
saying
“get out of your school amanda ”
his gf and fifteen others came to find me
amanda
her and to other just stood there and said nobody liked me
amanda
a guy said in the background
“just punch her already”
so she did
she threw me to the ground
and punched me
amanda
over and over again
but the worst part was it was taped
and i was left there
alone
amanda
a joke in this world
nobody deserved this
this hurt of the world
i lied and said it was my fault
that i told him to do it
i didn’t want him to get hurt
and it’s no different if they put me through it
because i thought he liked me
amanda
there was one person in the world
who like me
but he just wanted what i could give him
so i just layed in a ditch all day
feeling like nothing was right
until my dad found me
and brought me home that night
i wanted it to be over
i wanted to stop the pain
so when i got home i drank bleach
and thought the pain would go away
it killed me inside but not out
so the ambulance came
and saved me
but i was still dead without a doubt
because on facebook
they said
she deserved it
i hope AMANDA is dead
and i tried so hard but i couldn’t get those words out of my head
and i didn’t want to press charges so i changed schools instead
i
amanda
just wanted to move on
but i was being tagged with pictures of bleach on facebook
how could i
they wanted me gone
i
amanda
a person
made a mistake
and on my story video
the comments
i could not take
the last words i read were
darwin at it’s best
but i’m just amanda
no more perfect than the rest

i can't see you anymore
the moment we had was gone
i felt so happy with you
but it was too late
when i realized it was wrong

my life was turned upside down
but it was too late to know
it was turned for the worst
and it started to show

i felt like a queen
but i was your slave
i felt in control  
but you controlled me

now i know exactly who you are

sin

and there is no room for you in my life anymore
i chose the house of worship
and now i'm slamming the door

because i'm not a queen
but i am royalty
and i'm not in control
but God will guide me

for there is nothing that he will put on me
that i can't bare
he knew i would get past you
and i will do it again
for the rest of my life
God will save me from sin

and when my earthly life ends
my heavenly life will begin
and my father will tell me
"there no room for him, so come in."

in bold i say
take the pain away
in black i say
one more and i'll be OK
in shame i say
i'm not done with this game
in desperation i say
**please take i t away

mother are you there?
i don't want to be alone
mother can you make it
all the way back home?

what happened on that day
the day you went away
the day you looked into my eyes
and said "i won't be back today"

what did daddy say
to make you say that to me?
what did daddy do
to make you do that to me?

i heard you fighting
again
like i never heard you before
it sounded like a bat
and then daddy slam'd the door

"what happened to your shirt"
i said though i already knew
the look in his eye
was deadly
so i went up to my room

crying in my pillow
i didn't want him to know
i felt your hand on my shoulder
it felt like i was home

mother are you with me?
mother are you there?
daddy's really angry
i'm starting to get scared

mother can you hear me
all the way up there?
in the heaven that you talked about
are you happy up there?

if you pay attention
you'd notice if you stare at someone in the eye
you see light around them
why is that?


is it that God is telling you himself
that when he created everything
he created a wall between you
and the world
the wall is
the holy spirit
outside is
the world
inside
he holds you
no matter what

if you pay attention
you'll realize
God is with everyone