I don’t know how to help you
All I know is how to keep things clean
With the smell of marigolds on my hands
From ripping up last summer’s show
I yearn for the cool dampness of earth
on my bare feet
I fantasize of dancing alone
Yet with each day dawning
I step into these well worn shoes
And put one foot in front of the other

I sat with myself
A long while

Acorns raining down
around

With eyes closed
I can see

Three flecks of light
Stars in the darkness

Obligatory smiles for the family portraits
Baring our teeth

Behind closed doors
We are damaged goods
Our delicate parts are torn to shreds

Sacred promises shattered
Like the wine glass you hurled at the wall
Leaving a bloodstain that we painted over

We both have gaping holes in our hearts
Secrets in the pits of our stomachs
***** dungeon basements
cobwebs in our minds

Tarnished silver, chipped porcelain
Once precious
Love candles burned down to waxy stumps with exhausted wicks

Our fingertips are blackened from attempting to relight the flame

We could wash off the soot
And walk away
Or continue to live without light

The next time I leave the house
Unchaperoned

I will Try to behave closer to the way
You expect of me

Here’s the truth that makes you flinch;
I will Never Fully Conform

I feel your concern cast over me,
a tangled net of doubt

If only I would shlep around
My loyalty

Instead Of bringing the fun

I brushed against you twice
Played it off
As of it were by accident
We both know
It was purely
Intentional

I know that I **** you-
Just a little bit every time.

I hear the slight whimper escape your lips
Like a baby thirsting for milk.

Torturing you
With the blueness in my eyes.

Perhaps it’s cruel,
nurturing this tension
For my own aspirations.

Keeping you within fingertips distance
Then abandoning you again.

But you make me feel like art,
and that is lovely.

Boiling resentment
Aimed straight at you
Icy eyes slashing
Lashing out
A gleaming blade
Rage
Sullenness becomes me
Chiseled cheekbones
Rising Hatred
Blame
Mask the underlying truth
Sadness