I must know...

the smell of your blowing hair
   in the leaf-strewn autumn wind

the touch of your hand on my chest
   closely held in a sleepy winter bed

the sight of your eyes lit with wonder
   for the beauty of spring's first flowers

the sound of your voice calling my name
   through a window from a summer garden

...and as the cycle renews...

the taste of your fertility
   under the cover of a harvest moon

...there simply aren't enough seasons
to gain a complete sense of all that you are

awakening autumn air
absorbed with thrown caution
a penchant for yawning leaves
an affinity for desiccated hearts

stirring lakeside willows
whisking emotions away
wafting feminine fragrance
in walking women's wakes

moving to its own designs
gusting in pursuit of change
swirling clouds of romantic disarray
into dizzying vortexes of possibility

expanding the bellows of intimacy
lovesmith for glowing molten souls
passionately ignited, vulnerably cooled
forging bonds, tempering existence

with all its non-sense ringing in the ears of today
and yesterday, with all the memories adding up to nothing
Seeds are still collected, re-sown by hopeful hands
while the clock swings around and around on its pedestal
a shoot will rise from the earth, the one miracle, shared
the whole world over, a marvel in the eyes of the sower
almost like a baby made while no-one was watching
and loved to a degree that adds up to ******, so tread warily

When angels cry
The sins in us all
Are washed away by their tears
But there anger tears apart the sky
So when you hear the thunder roar
It isn't the atmosphere cracking
Under pressure
Its when the good are done wrong
And the bad should begin to feel fear
For their end is near

unappreciated only happens in company
live on your own and you will never be disappointed
peace resides in the hearts of the single
spend time in married company, you will count your blessings more often

the bridge
it's sitting out there just out of your reach
so close you can touch it
so tempting you almost dared to jump for it
but that almost
was just a thought

your hope
you were so close to it
you had a taste
and vomited it up just as quickly

your love
to much of a coward to stay
you were there
and you
cut your heart out before he or she had the chance to

your damnation
you waltzed with it, let it linger
you let it infuse with your being
ignorant to its poison

your heaven
you hid
letting the fear
**** your desire
and leave it in the dark

your hell
you thought your "higher than man" self
could out wit the master

your failure
you accepted it
sometimes without acknowledgement

and

your success
you wouldn't take notice

your future, past, and present

dominated by your pathetic
weak
ever so disappointing
"needs"

higher than a bird could fly
lower than a snake could crawl
cherries on a sweet sickly cake
flesh crawling with minute bugs
smell to make a skunk retch
smiles to everyone up the ladder
scowls to everyone else
anything goes when it suits
morally outraged at the splinter
sick at the sight of your plank
how on earth we are not any worse
is really THE mystery of the Universe

i am just a glitch in the system,
a name
on a waiting list which is too long.
i am just a name, one you can't get rid of.
so you tell me i'll wait six months,
it has been eight.

you call yourself professionals,
yet you don't seem to realise that teenagers are –
impatient.
so my mother leaves endless voicemails,
and my doctor sends a string of letters your way,
all in a feeble attempt
to hurry along the mind numbing process.

i don't expect to beat the system,
and there are countless others like me –
but isn't that the thing that scares you?

you know, there is this fashion craze,
where we tie lengths of black cord around our necks,
and call them "chokers".
i wear mine every day, and i tie it a tad too tightly,
because i can't breathe
and i've ran out of excuses as to why.

you take your morning coffee black,
and i cannot see the appeal in the bitter taste.
you start the day with nicotine, whether that be
cigarettes or cherry-flavored vapor.
you are a bad influence on me, you made me
addicted to the stuff. your eyes are
an ocean. they have seen so, so much.
your face, your body, your mind, all sharp angles -
i have learned how to safety proof myself
from your jagged edges. you, my love, are
a rose. your thorns make my limbs bleed,
and your beauty works as a band aid.
i have learned which places our bodies can
interlock comfortably. the crook of your neck,
my head against your chest, i wish i could melt
our bones together, into one perfect structure.
you were sculpted from dystopian stories, yet
you are alive, you are a tangible utopia.
tangled in the darkness, we mumble sweet promises
and careful secrets. these bed sheets safe keep
us from a world where i love yous can
never last. dear God, let this last.