“Oh what a beautiful life”
We cut watermelon cubes
while her brother keeps us company,
Gretchen peels potatoes
beside us
Conversation and Silence flowing naturally
and comfortably
While memories of the pool
float in my mind

“So we try to live like it’s all we got”
What started as
dipping our legs in and talking,
music softly pulsing
out of my headphones in the background
as we laughed,
turned into Myth Busters
proving the rumor of hearing a **** whistle blown below water
being heard above
is complete *******
Suddenly I’m underwater, hearing the whistle go off
I’m completely soaked
Standing on the ledge, grabbing her arm
I pull us under
we swim around
Splashing and laughing
chasing one another
our clothes a lost cause
but we don’t care
simply enjoying the glowing moon
and bright stars

“Gives us just one perfect night”
Laughing
and Jostling each other around
Leaving the pool behind
I grin
Gretchen still peeling and cutting potatoes
began making conversation
and the memories
Slowly
Fade away

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

i want to stop being angry
but i saw how you looked at her
i want to stop being angry
but i saw how you kept looking at her
i want to stop being angry
but you haven't talked to me since last may
when the sun was beating down
and the grass was too green
and you held my hand
and i broke your heart
but you swore we were still friends
because i was more than a girlfriend to you

i want to stop being angry
but nobody looks at me the way you look at her
not even you