You ripped my heart out of my chest,
robbed me of the one thing I had left.
You sealed my heart in a jar
and hung it up high like the stars.

But, no, mine isn't the only one you've taken.
I've forgotten about all the other girls you've shaken,
who over the years you've teased and toyed with.
I guess it really wasn't just a myth...

I hate her
even though I barely know
anything about her,
because for some reason
you're in love with her,
even though she wants
nothing to do with you,
if she was in love with you in return
I wouldn't stand a chance

I've always kept my jealousy
locked in a box within my heart,
and since the day we started dating
only I've held the key.

My jealousy innocently simmers
inside like a *** of water,
but explodes red-hot like
the lava inside a volcano
if put under pressure

I wish I could let you open up my little box
and let you see the real root of my jealousy.
Let you see that buried underneath my smile
lies a deep, etched frown.

But I know you wouldn't understand.
You see me as strong and as cast-iron hard
as the box encased around my heart.
You would break if you saw
your sturdy rock crumble.

So instead I'll shut my little box
and throw away the key,
in hopes that if I bury these feelings
deep enough inside of me
I'll forget they ever existed
in the first place.

On the verge of tears.
I never cry in front of people.
I haven't in years.

But then there was you
who didn't know
when to let things go.
Then there was you
who continued to poke the stick
at the bear
like it'd do the trick,
like it'd make me feel better
instead of under the weather.

Every time people pry
I cry.
I explode,
going full throttle
down the wrong road.

Then you wonder why I'm upset
when you were the one who wouldn't let
me be in peace.
Jeez...

You peeled back your layers
to reveal bloodied bone and muscle,
but no matter how hard I looked
I only saw a scared little boy.

I can't do this
I can't block her out
I can't ignore what could just be a rumor
I can't stay silent
I cant

Please don't leave me
please just listen
please deny what they say
please just believe me
please

I'll learn to love you
I'll learn to not stray
I'll learn to like guys
I'll learn from my mistakes
I'll learn

I will be honest
I will stay with you
I will let you own me
I will make myself be happy
I will

I promise

I have a fire in my throat
and angry, tired eyes.
I've seen a thing or two
I've flown as far as the moon,
and these experiences,
these burdens,
have aged me far beyond my years.
I no longer feel fear
or happiness or sadness,
all that's left is this madness
that I just can't seem to shake.
So leave me alone before I break,
because I have a fire in my throat
and angry tired eyes
that aren't afraid
to watch you die:)

I want her skin on mine
I want to be inside her mind
I want her to crawl on me
I want to be inside her body

But I also want her brain
I want to have her last name
I want to be better together
I want to give her forever

I'm a lesbian,
and that's what guys
can't understand.
That to make a girl happy,
you don't need a man.

I've been branded new
painted blue
fallen through

because of you

Tears that drown
permenant frown
sobbing sound

I"m a letdown.

I'm afraid of letting you down,
my voice is sore, my hands are shaking
and my thoughts are screaming  way too loud.
I've tried so hard, I tried my best
and now I'm being put to the test.
Hours of practice just to make you proud,
but what if I let you down?

You make me smile
in your light arms of laughter
you stay for awhile
even hours after

Little girl with wide, scared eyes
doesn't know what to do with her life,
or how to make her own decisions.
She knows what mommy and daddy would want,
but their ideas seem boring and off.

Little girl with puffed out cheeks,
and eye rolls and snarky comments,
wants to rule her own life and
everyone around her.
She's selfish and rude and doesn't
take account for her own actions.

Little girl with cut up wrists
doesn't know where everything went wrong.
All she knows is that the pain
makes her feel sane, in the moment,
but, in the end, makes her feel worse.

Little girl with a high school diploma
finally needs to **** it up and grow up.
The world won't stop for her.
All it cares about is whether she's paid her taxes.
She needs to realize that not everyone
is going to love her.
Not even herself.

Let me tell you about a guy named Lonely
my most loyal and only friend
he's always by my side
in every crowd or conversation
comforting me when things go wrong

Sometimes when I'm tired of Lonely
I force myself to talk to others
but whenever I think I've found a friend
they always make sure to remind me
that I will only ever be alone

There is a place that I like to go
where all of my problems are slower than slow.
And there the voices of all of the birds
come together in sing~songy herds.

My friends have all gone
at the break of dawn,
but I am happy
to not be the least bit sappy

When the sky bleeds into the iridescent water at night,
I am not afraid, not the littlest fright.
For I know tomorrow the light,
will shine and the darkness it will fight

Everything is joyous except for the moon,
for it is lonely and I am too.
But why would I give up all I have
for a little taste of the friendship path?

You'll never see
I am a whisper
inside a crowd
I am a drifter
in a sky of clouds
I am one word
in a poem
I am blurred
you'll never know him
invisible
unpredictable
You'll never know me

There are plenty of people
who push others away,
who say that
they're fine being a lone wolf,
but even wolves in the wild
who leave their pack
go off to find a mate
and sow the seeds
to start their own family,
they still surround
themselves with others.
Lone wolves don't actually exist,
only the idea of it,
so if wolves need others
in order to survive,
then why don't people?

I was shaking and shrieking

rolling thunder thrumming in my ears
electricity crackling in my fingers and toes
the wind whishing my hair every which way

Lighting flashed and I lost my mind

trees fell one by one and made my home a prison
the sky cracked open and tore the world in two
people shook and shrieked as they fought for their lives

I couldn't keep from laughing at it all

I want our shadows
to dance to a silent melody,
I want our love
to fly us to the moon,
I want our love to
defy destiny,
because I want to have
my cake and eat it too.

Love is evergreen.
No matter how much you
want it to wilt like a flower,
It will always find a way
to grow back again.

I welcome love
like I'd welcome an old friend,
with a hug and a warm embrace
upon seeing a familiar face.
But no matter how long I wait,
love never comes knocking at my door.
I wonder why I even try anymore...

She's the sweetest little girl I swear,
the girl with the halo of hair.

Her eyes might be an icy blue,
but deep inside there lies a different hue,
one that's brighter than the sun's rays,
that blooms far wilder than the flowers of May.

Yes, she may be beautiful,
but she's also the girl who pulls
on my heartstrings when she holds me close,
who doesn't make me feel like a ghost,
whose smile brightens up my day,
who doesn't judge the things I do or say.

I knew the second I saw her she was the one for me,
the one who will always make me happy
and though she's a girl, she's the love of my life,
who I hope will one day become my wife.

Breakups rhymes with makeups
because the two go hand in hand.
Love straps you in for a loop-de-loop
it slams you from side to side
and just when you think you're safe,
that you've finally reached your peak
you p
       l
       u
       m
       m    
       e
       t
       .
And just like a roller coaster,
it can either be fun or scary
depending on the person.
And though I enjoy roller coasters,
love terrifies me.

I'm never the first one to say 'I love you,'
but at least you're the last thing I think about
before I fall asleep.

Her lips on mine,
can't help but fantasize.
Imagining her angel eyes,
whether they're real or just a disguise,
keeps my head in the skies
and tucks me in tight,
a loving lullaby
that sings me to sleep each night.

I just found out after years
of light and loving laughter
that you've hated me all this time.
It's crazy the number
of masks in your collection,
happy and caring and loving masks
that were, in the end, too good to be true.
Just thinking about you makes me think
about the masks we all put up.
It's like every morning we wake up
to go to a huge masquerade party,
and instead of taking
our masks off at the end of the night,
we sleep with them on,
always lying, always deceiving
even when the party's over.

Having more to live for
makes me want to live even less

She plays with her food,
pushing it around on the plate,
watching the vegetables roll
and the chicken broth drip,
the aroma is mouthwatering.
She tries not to make eye contact with her food
so not to think of the tender juiciness
the chicken would bring,
soon to explode on her tongue,
the crisp crunch the vegetables
will make when they touch her teeth.
She can feel the hunger growing inside her,
an angry beast trying to claw its way out
that she's suppressed for far too long.
She wonders if eating is worth the risk
as she looks down and observes each
part of her frame that isn't ramrod straight,
remembering that she'll never be good enough for anyone,
not even herself.
Dropping her fork as if it were a worm,
she tried not to give eye contact
to the dismantled family sitting at the dismantled table.
"May I be excused?"

We'll see the same moon
when you watch from your window.
Sit and remember me,
soak in our memories
till you taste those tears so bittersweet.
But do not stay sad,
instead stretch a smile
and be happy that I was your's
and you were mine,
even if it was only for a short time,
if we share the same moon
we'll both be fine.
I will find my way back to you,
when the sun sets
it doesn't go away forever,
but comes back just as beautiful as before
as a blazing sunrise.
So for now look to the moon,
I will be back soon,
I will find my way back to you.
I promise.

I want more than just your hand
thumb rubbing circles over my calluses
I want more than just your lips
awkward and unrhythmic
I want more than just your words
mumbling with downcast eyes

I want your fingertips
fluttering with curiosity
I want your tongue
quenched with my saliva
I want your promise
that this is more than just childish lust

M y favorite songs

U se words that sound like

S traight poetry, but I also like songs that

I nclude no words at all. I guess I just like any

C ategory of music that makes my soul stand up and dance

Headphones in my ears,

tuning the world to white noise,

turning off my senses.

All that matters is the beat,

pumping blood into my veins,

breathing a clear calm into

this instrument of a body.

Music. Is. Life

I don't have blood in my veins,
but I have this steady, snapping beat,
I don't have a boy on my brain
but this chorus constantly on repeat.
because life just brings me pain,
and when the world becomes
just one big game,
music is the only thing
that understands me

Thoughts are loud,
voice is quiet.
I'd do anything
to break this silence.
Except speak.
Because my thoughts get tangled,
my words sound mangled,
and then I end up sounding like an idiot
who can't even remember their own name.
And who is to blame?
My anxiety!!!

My first poetry slam left me feeling empty.
Burdened.
As if I were holding everyone’s feelings in the palms of my hands.

My teacher read with a straight face,
her voice as dry as sand.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The poems were anonymous but some of them
I was sure would earn a kid or two a call home,
sounding like a cry for help or suicide threat.

And even though we were just a high school class
some kids wrote with a brushstroke of color,
sure to one day be an aspiring author.

But me, my writing was beige
quick and to the point without much room for one to ponder
a poem or two about unrequited love that the kids called
"Cute”.

But that day as I walked out
I didn’t feel cute or cool or even creative.
I felt a weight on my shoulders,
heavier than even the textbooks in my backpack
I felt burdened

You told me If I loved you
that I'd move on.
Now we no longer talk,
now I cry myself to sleep,
now I no longer eat,
now I have put up my walls,
now I'm tired of it all,
now I never talk.
Now I know I said I'd go away,
but my heart keeps begging me to stay

"You can't love someone who never had a heart to begin with"

This place is a home
even though it doesn't have walls.
It's the place I can run to
when the demons won't
stop swirling in my head
like a tornado turning the wrong way.
It's the place I can shelter from the storm
even though there is no roof to keep me warm.
It's fate that I came across this place.
No matter how long I stray away
I always come back.
I'm drawn to this place like a moth to light,
like a phene to nicotine.
Hell, I'd probably be dead in a ditch today
if this place hadn't of let me stay
where I won't freeze to death,
where I don't have to fight the thoughts in my head,
where I am sure I'll be safe.
I'll always be thankful for this place,
because it's my one and only escape.

My tongue is a double-edged sword.
Every time I open my mouth
I hurt others.

But I hurt myself even more.

Because the words that leave my lips
are words spoken by a monster.
Words that fly out furiously
whenever I feel like a hurt animal
that's backed into a corner.

They're always followed with a tsunami of
"I'm sorry"s
and me using whatever charm I have left
to make you forgive me.

So I can do it again.

It's a vicious cycle,
one that has, over time, became my prison.

A prison I don't have the key to...

I am a storm
roaring onto the Earth
my emotions swarm
revenge I thirst
everyone feels my rage
thundering lightening
it strikes on a rampage
in blasts that are frightening
it puts me in fear
of hurting others
you better steer clear
these feelings won't smother
stay inside keep warm
and out of my storm

Words caught
in a knot
when we talk
pausing stutters
deafening mutters
of scratchy chalk
Im afraid
you won't stay
when i'm in
in a trance
from just one glance
cannot look away

I wear my own jacket
so no guy will ever
offer me theirs

I buy my own chocolates
so I know what
I'm gonna get

I look in the mirror
so I can tell myself
that I'm beautiful

I grow my own roses
so I can't be pricked
by their thorns

I only love myself
so my heart
can never be broken

Tonight we are young,
but, tomorrow, we better run.
Because tomorrow brings another day,
and these growing pains won't go away.
So we'll run away from this barren land,
hand in hand, we'll fly to Neverland.
I don't care what we get into,
because my heart's at home when I'm with you.

He comes to me in the night,
a black, looming mass
that merges with the shadows.
The headlights from the passing cars
through the window make him dance,
giving him movement
as if he were alive.
He tiptoed his way to my bed
to tower over me,
a pair of blood red eyes
shining through the shadows,
piercing through my soul,
reading my every thought.
And that's when the figure began to change,
the shadows twisting,
and turning,
and transforming.
First it was an arm, then a foot,
and then the figure
turned into something more familiar.
It had your devious grin,
your sinister voice,
your icy touch.
"I missed you," it said with a voice of silk.
It traced the edge of my face with a finger,
its eyes full of hunger, its heart full of evil.
"Did you miss me?"
In that moment I knew I was already dead.
I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed,
my heart slamming into my stomach.
I never woke up.