If everything you touch turns to gold
and everything I touch turns to ash—
then together
we will sit upon our thrones
of riches and ruin
and make the world bow at our feet.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

The truth of this life
Is that it hurts
Is that it breaks
Is that it burns
And overall
It’s not worth living
But you can’t stop there

Because there’s more
The story goes on
There is truth
Beyond this desperate place
Truth that offers vitality
And this, this is
The only reason
I’m still alive

But I don't want you to come back.

You're back,
but I won't allow you to come back.

You're back,
but I deserve better.

You're back,
but not for me.

I want to move forward
so badly
but all this time
a spire
has stood in our way.
I love you as hard
as I could imagine
loving anyone
but still
it's not enough.

I am not allowed to live with you
because they would disagree.
And
we cannot
get married
because you are not free.

You say that you're sorry
and I surely believe you
but
it doesn't change things.

I still sleep
                      alone.
And we lie
                      perfectly.

I don't want to live this way.

I cannot keep doing this.

I need to
escape
escape
escape
escape