Better the devil you know
They say
Better get watered to grow
But wait
You’d better be careful and think
She warned
You’d better be quiet and shrink
Or else
They’ll find someone better and leave
You there
But maybe you’re better alone than shared

I only write when I’m sad
But I suppose it is not all that bad
For if I only create
When I feel desolate
Then there is much creation to be had

Sitting on cold pebbles
watching the sunset
over the sea in December
Makes me wonder
That if I live my life
As close to the sun
And the ocean as I can
Will I become those rippling
Blues and oranges
When I go?
I hope so

By now I thought I’d be
Much more
A partner, a mother
I thought I’d be sure
Of my picket fence life
My role as a wife
An impressive career
A stable idea of the
Road ahead
Or else I’d be dead
But somehow I’ve ended up
In this limbo
And I have become
A loose moralled *****
With no idea where it all
Went wrong  
And no plan in sight
of how to go on

The arms that held me
The hands that slaved
The eyes that watched
The heart that gave
The voice that told me
‘I know you can’
The dreams that held me
Before I met land
The laugh that taught me
It’s good to be fun
The warnings I heard
That meant done is done
The love I have known
With strength like no other
The woman I’m blessed
To have as my mother

Sadness lives in my bones
It’s settled in my marrow
Happiness is harrowing
Like a fracture
That never healed
Entrapped pain
Within my structure
Never to feel whole again

Love is a sham and
I am what I am
Said me to myself
And I
I don’t understand and
I will not withstand
This criminal
Evil lie
I can’t and I won’t and
I just simply don’t
Want to live if living
Hurts so
I may just check out and
I won’t cry or shout
I’ll just quietly get up
And go