He might be right,
When he says that loves gone now.
That it cannot be done right,
For doing it wrong now.
I hope that he’s wrong when
He speaks on my deep fear,
Says I’m used up and damaged
And will not be loved here.
I feel it inside now,
That sinking dread feeling
That sits in my stomach
And leaves my mind reeling.
I know it deep down now,
The soul crushing truth love,
That people don’t love like
They used to love love, love.

Always the back up girl
Never the girlfriend
Always the second choice
Never the happy end
Always the background noise
Never the chart hit
Always his favourite secret
Never his ‘this is it’
I’m always the girl they want
But never the girl they need
Always wishing for more
They never hear my pleas

There are far worse fates
Than being alone.
To watch myself grow
Maid, mother to crone.
I could waste all my years on the
Same shallow man,
And skip into hell all
Whilst holding his hand.
I could forgo my passions
For his every whim,
And save all my smiling and love
just for him.
I could bury my future beneath
Soil and stone.
That’s a far worse fate than
Just being alone.

I sell myself so cheap,
Give my soul for so little,
In hopes that I might keep,
A half loved love so brittle.
In handing him my body,
I am weakening my mind,
And in keeping saying sorry,
I leave myself behind.
I wish that I could hate him,
And remember who I am,
But dangerously I love him,
I’m his sacrificial lamb.
He’s killing me,
But I like it,
I’m dying,
I am.

It’s been said that old habits die hard
But how hard do I need to try
To make this old habit die?
The lengths I’ve gone to
In order to forsake you
The conclusion I have come to
This habit won’t die till I do

You can’t just create a person
Then leave them alone.
I scream silently at
My father, my
Lover and
My life.
You can’t just make me like this
Then tell me that I’m crazy.
I scratch at the walls of
My apartment, my
Mind and my
Prison cell.
You can’t just love someone then
Treat them like they’re nothing
I whisper to my happy
Memories, my exes
And myself.

I hope he’s kind
This future of mine
I hope he’s clever
Loses his temper never
I hope he’s a man worth loving
I hope he’s sweet
I hope he comes to me running
Will I know when we meet?