Exosphere: Poems

Exosphere Mar 2021

well that just made everything worse
based on nothing at all
I’m sure you could do better
but since we shall never meet
I will just recharge

bats and coffee don’t mix

Exosphere Apr 2021

bats and coffee don’t mix

it is not polite to take your coffee
into a different coffee shop
especially one with bats in the belfry
that will leave guano in your cup

beach

Exosphere Sep 2023

beach

the waves are being particularly rambunctious
the ocean is telling a lot of jokes
also I think the sun is a bit drunk
wobbling through the sky

beat

Exosphere Jul 2023

beat

I press my hand to my rib cage
feel my heart’s persistent throb
it seems so small and vulnerable
this tiny gentle creature
pressing softly against my fingers
each pulse almost a question
is this right?
should I be here?
was this an invitation?
meant for me?
yet it continues
steady and uncertain
faithful and dumb
altruistic and alone
thank you little heart
you efforts are not forgotten

beautiful lions

Exosphere Jan 2021

beautiful lions

stay behind a very thick glass wall
when tossing steaks to beautiful lions

beautiful thing

Exosphere Feb 2021

beautiful thing

I’m remembering that scene from fight club
Tyler says, I wanted to destroy something beautiful
I feel like that beautiful thing sometimes

be now

Exosphere Apr 2021

be now

now is now
now is
right
now
my smiles
my arms
my lips
they are
now

best laid plans

Exosphere Jul 2023

best laid plans

I thought I was playing it safe
I thought I was taking it slow
I thought I was getting to know a person
making a real connection
not acting out of lust or selfishness or boredom
I thought I was being responsible

I didn’t realize
I was falling the whole time
I didn’t realize
I was building something inside me
that couldn’t be destroyed
I didn’t realize
my heart was already making
an irreversible commitment
I didn’t realize
I was wrecking myself

Those first years.
That first kiss.

be with you

Exosphere Jul 2023

be with you

I don’t want to think about my mistakes, confusions, or pains
I just want to be with you in this moment,
and as many moments as I can,
for the rest of our days

birds

Exosphere Jan 2021

birds

are your birds sleeping?
are they hungry?
are they delivering your messages?

birds

Exosphere Feb 2021

birds

I don’t know who you are
but you never had a chance
no sir
are you crazy?
I’m not a pile of seed left out for the birds

birds and bees

Exosphere May 2021

birds and bees

I don’t want to swipe right
I don’t want to meet someone new
I only want you

blank spaces

Exosphere May 2023

blank spaces

it’s not that I forget bad things happened
I remember
bad things happened
I just don’t remember what they were

blindfolded

Exosphere Mar 2021

blindfolded

where are you
besides in my mind?
what are you doing
besides tormenting me?
when will your hands
touch me?
how will I know
it’s you?

blues

Exosphere Jul 2023

blues

rain all day
wash my blues away
when I look underneath
at the color true
I find
that it is also blue!

blur

Exosphere Feb 2021

blur

I know what it’s like
to live for a certain day
for all the days in between
to go by in a blur
while you wait each week
each month
for that day
thinking the whole time
that on this day
this one day
something amazing will happen

but it never does
it never does
and eventually
that day becomes
like all the other days
a blur
all the days then
are just
a blur

body double

Exosphere Jan 2021

body double

I need a body double
for my pillows
this is a very dangerous maneuver

boundaries

Exosphere Aug 2023

boundaries

I’m disappointed today

#respect

bourbon

Exosphere Feb 2021

bourbon

I’m not sure who wrote that last poem
but she seemed nice

Brat

Exosphere Feb 2021

Brat

She needs to be Punished
doesn’t She?
doesn’t She need to be taught A Lesson?
hasn’t She been
Very Bad?

bravado

Exosphere Apr 2021

bravado

in wavering
the timber sounds strong

bravely

Exosphere Apr 2021

bravely

stop freaking out
nothing is changed except everything
which is no big deal
also, I still love you and you should come
bravely
for a visit

breakfast

Exosphere Mar 2023

breakfast

love visited in my dream
smoothing my muscles and my mind
now I’m a little pancake
soft, fluffy and sweet
I’m ready
please add syrup

breakfast

Exosphere Apr 2021

breakfast

I’d like if you could face the breakfast
and the music
it would be a great show

breakfast

Exosphere Jun 2023

breakfast

your face still keeps me company
slipping from shadowy corners of my mind
I’m still holding your hand
in a treasured memory
I stopped pretending you would come
my heart hurts all the time
I guess I’ll get up and have breakfast

bright

Exosphere Mar 2021

bright

bright day
cozy bed
languid thought
my favorite feeling

bright soul

Exosphere Jun 2023

bright soul

there is a darkness
and a silence
and all the while it is my fate to suffer
for you

#bright #soul

broken record

Exosphere Apr 2021

broken record

I’ve been breaking records my whole life
but I’m not talking about me this time

bubbles

Exosphere Jan 2021

bubbles

drugs were looking for people
following them around in small bubbles
attaching to them like static electricity
I kept moving away
even though it was a party
they freaked me out
couldn’t the others see them?
they were like parasitic entities
with consciousness and will
looking for victims
looking for toxic symbiosis
looking for a reason to exist
looking for a reaction
looking for—
I woke up

bucket of slop

Exosphere Feb 2021

bucket of slop

she only calls me when there’s no one to get drunk with
her other friends, they go to dinner
hiking
hang out at each other’s place
I get the equivalent of a late night *******
for getting wasted
maybe because I don’t judge?
or maybe I’m just really tolerable when you’re drunk
that’s pretty much the only time he spent with me too
that, or maybe you just need to be ******
every
day

bull

Exosphere Jul 2023

bull

I am paralyzed by my lack of subtlety
I don’t want to break the china

Bummer

Exosphere Jan 2021

******

There’s a lot to look forward to
But shooting down the scooters?
...I don’t know, it’s almost a deal breaker
I can think of plenty of places where that wouldn’t happen
I bet some of them even have affordable housing and good schools

but not this one

Exosphere Jan 2021

but not this one

in some future world
originals are being murdered
and frauds are prolifically plagiarizing

But what about next week

Exosphere Jan 2021

But what about next week

I decided to forget all the things I don’t want to believe
And remember only the things that make me feel good
Just for a little while
To be happy
Like maybe
just this week

call it a day

Exosphere Feb 2021

call it a day

the investigation is concluded
the detective put down his pen
he sat back
and grimaced

let’s just say
German

calm

Exosphere Feb 2021

calm

the words are calming me
each word is a recycle bin
I’m taking out the trash

campaigning for Bernie

Exosphere Mar 2021

campaigning for Bernie

Rupert the dancing bear was one cool cat
course he was also a sexist ****
but even the most sensitive guys often were in the 90’s
which were like the 70’s but with Nirvana
still, I’d call him a good egg
and I think he campaigned for Bernie a few years back
so, there’s something to be said for that

captive audience

Exosphere Feb 2021

captive audience

the captive audience is getting anxious
they are looking for the exits
they are feeling tricked

carry on

Exosphere Mar 2021

carry on

are you worried I don’t take you seriously?
let me be emphatically clear
no, I don’t take you seriously
who even are you?
I’m apparently much more practically minded
than you anticipated

catnip

Exosphere Apr 2021

catnip

you are my catnip
you give me bad kitty thoughts

cauliflower is good

Exosphere Mar 2023

cauliflower is good

cauliflower is good
cauliflower is yummy
I can eat a lot more cauliflower
since I got rid of that big dummy

celestial bodies

Exosphere Jul 2023

celestial bodies

the earth holds the moon in its steady and permanent grip
the moon pulls on the waters with longing
today I don’t have the strength
to withstand the push and pull of the tide
today I don’t have the mind
to navigate celestial bodies
today I let the waves toss me onto the shore
as the ocean retreats
today I rest on the beach
watching others play in the surf

celestial voices

Exosphere Apr 2021

celestial voices

I’m hearing a tone
it’s emanating from the molecules that make up my brain
resonating all around me
a gentle synthesized chord
it’s really beautiful and feels amazing
or it could be a tumor

chainmail

Exosphere Feb 2021

chainmail

the words were like a chainmail
plain and uniform and impenetrable

change

Exosphere Sep 2023

change

my heart still hurts
it’s hurt for a long time though
nothing ever changed
so I had to
I deserve love

chaos

Exosphere Mar 2022

chaos

in every complex, nonsensical pattern
there is a logic
that is beautiful and sublime

chapters

Exosphere Mar 2021

chapters

it’s all there, the complete mutable story
in the record of happenings outside of time
I have been ripping out chapters
that keep reappearing

cheap electric guitar

Exosphere Apr 2021

cheap electric guitar

I just spent 30 minutes
trying to tune a cheap electric guitar
at least I’m not on Facebook

chill

Exosphere Jan 2021

chill

I know, I know
you want me to chill
face reality
get my **** together
or something
Ima do that
next week

chill

Exosphere Mar 2021

chill

a cool breeze breathes through my clothes
the chill fights it’s way inside me
I will make a hot spring
where desires bubble to the surface
a wind section of gently bursting sighs
mineral salts will turn my skin pink and plump
while vapors hover above the lazy fizzing surface
I see a form across the haze
wax dipped flames dance into the shadows
I don’t blink
where have you been?