One day they’ll
see me
on the podiums
by chance
one day they’ll
see me doing
my own dance
and one day
I’ll believe in the stars
but today’s not that

I’m still a liar
I still lie to you
it doesn’t matter
when, why, or who
I’m still working
on trusting others
but I’m really just
learning to trust myself

My friend told me
the death brings life meaning
and I told her
that’s why we hustle for the win
because every one might be our last

I fall over something
my head hits the wall
the thought in my brain
turn sideways
and lose their balance
I’m stuck on the ground
suddenly I remember
people are watching
so stand back up
and walk away
without any direction
what a public display of pain

I wore pigtails
in kindergarten
because every one thought
I was a boy
I wore dresses in 1st grade
pigtails weren’t enough
in 2d I wore pants
only with floral patterns though
otherwise they asked
in 8th grade a classmate joked
that I look like a boy
I laughed
but lost a piece of young me

Is 102 poems since September too many?
am I prolific
or so insane I need the poems?
in September I called poems a drug
I may have been exactly right