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May 6 · 45
My time
Lee May 6
So it's come
Years of planning
My disappearing
Death certificates
Nothing but a figure
No one among the masses
My ghosting
My new life in death
A face soon to be nameless
A second unsaid goodbye
Better left unsaid
For love sake
For my family sake
Jan 12 · 390
Lee Jan 12
Truly uncertain
This hearts been too strained
I guess too many times betrayed
So much I've lost
More so everyone I've pushed away
Laying down with murmers
Twitching inconsitant beats
Falling in pain
This heart of mine truly is
With no love but family
I worry not
For in the end
I'll be just another
Only to be forgot
Jan 11 · 161
Is she living
Lee Jan 11
Sometimes and still feeling
I had to die so she could live
Cause I'm just not dying
Lee Jan 11
There's this soul
The one to waken my very own
The one for which it calls
Never to see
Never to feel
Never to hold
Not ever again
Yet this soul
The only one to change me

For the betterment
Of my humanity
Through her divinity
Jan 11 · 65
Lee Jan 11
Where does time go
When lost in pondering
A place drawn by a single person
Of beauties
To good for the likes of man
Lee Jan 9
The day I watched you walk away
The very same day I'd never be the same
Jan 3 · 56
The inevitable crash
Lee Jan 3
Like thieves
We are all
Inlove with stolen hearts
Nov 2021 · 68
Lee Nov 2021
I just need to fade away
Even if I'd seen her
What would I have to say
Well honestly
She'd see me and walk away
So this had become of me
Most and if not every day
Finding my peace
In my time of wreckless grey
Broken myself over her
Withing my own minds dismay
It was the way she looked at me
Telling me to go and stay away
I guess it's just that
That's all I've left to say
It's time for me to become a ghost

I've healed, and I've accepted my guilt.
I miss her, she's honestly better off though
I just wish it never had to be this way
Nov 2021 · 74
Woke on reality
Lee Nov 2021
Deluded ramblings
A mutation of a man
Inadequate and empty
Yearning yet still
For a love unrequited
Nov 2021 · 337
Lee Nov 2021
So it is
That the poet is lost in translation
By all that was
All that shall never be
Nov 2021 · 131
Art saved me
Lee Nov 2021
I've met Art
In the form of woman
The likes, a realm outside my reach
Afar yet so near
The likes of one still
Changed one's darkened ways
Instilled values grasped in moments
Guiding to this very day
Nov 2021 · 427
End of everything
Lee Nov 2021
I use to write poetry
Apon a time
Thereof a woman
Dearestly held
Another later found
The other now a mother
This one the last to make me suffer
Nov 2021 · 50
Lee Nov 2021
A mix of chemistry
I'd thought ceased to be
The thought of me with somebody
I'd felt were dead
Outside of this poetry platform
I've used for healing
Now for someone I'm again feeling
Oct 2021 · 390
Lee Oct 2021
No longer recognizing reality
In a manner of normality
At a pace unmatched
A level of meaningless ending
With a frequency depleting
Oct 2021 · 169
Lee Oct 2021
I am nothing to you
I need you to break me in two
Lee Oct 2021
2nd dose down
Burning me to the ground
From inside out
The only thought for comfort
The one I live without

My dreams my solice
Existence my bane
Living always with so much pain

Again dreaming
Energy depleting
Yearning still
The silence of night
With the woman I still love
Oct 2021 · 1.2k
If we could be
Lee Oct 2021
I haven't felt happiness
Not in a long time
Then you came to me
My mornings dream
Simply sweet
Forever with me
Oddly enough my reason to be
Oct 2021 · 111
To the love I miss
Lee Oct 2021
To a love I knew
The same love I lost
The love I'd pushed away
The love that haunts me to this day
Oct 2021 · 273
What is this
Lee Oct 2021
I've let it be
This is it
Who is she to me
Still today
The only one for me
Sep 2021 · 45
Lee Sep 2021
Lee's dead
It all got to his head
Sep 2021 · 200
Lee Sep 2021
There came a point
Since then
I haven't felt anything
Sep 2021 · 240
Lee Sep 2021
For I the flame born of darkness
Set unto thee only for warmth
As for thee to spread light
Aug 2021 · 50
Lee Aug 2021
Life isn't what it seems
Sometimes all we have is our dreams
A little lucidity between the seams
Something to show us what it all means
Aug 2021 · 149
What has love become
Lee Aug 2021
Dating amidst the generations of the 21st century is prioritizing someone only to become their option
Aug 2021 · 62
Notional, that's me
Lee Aug 2021
I am that which is lost
I am the departed
Merely something which no longer exists
Jul 2021 · 55
For the future
Lee Jul 2021
Standing alone
Amidst the killing field of one's self
Left with little of a past
Not much of a future
Hands and a mouth
Good for only destruction
With Graves to close
Years of work ahead
To fix myself further
Gragments of souls
Filling places mine once was
I have only their humanity and love
With my knowledge
Critically In use
Only for the betterment
Of those held dearly
Amidst the rubble of a once
Ever so fortified heart
I now allow the foundation of the greater good
Jul 2021 · 43
Lee Jul 2021
Standing in fistfuls of blood
Shattered glass pulled to the floor
A man in hand
His doings unquestionable
Undeniable to my community
My actions just
To civilians surprise
My inner
Enraged by stupidtiy
Pained by loss
What it'd taken to release
My worlds might
I cannot project
Not my pain unto others
Standing aside
As law enforcement arrived
The situation contained
My muse
Saving not only I from
My pain
Saving mens lives
With her drive
Lee Jul 2021
I've failed again at being withdrawn
For an individual
I must mourn
Not for death
For a friend I do so much adore
I wish only her well being
As we stand to watch our nation healing
My concerns fleeting
I might aswell be bleeding
For tonight I go forth
Assisting my fellow countrymen
With my God at the reigns
My heart filled with love
Against those
Destroying our country
Making sure only they are fleeing
Lee Jul 2021
Two shotguns
Aimed at our heads
Six more men
We were **** out of fortune
A horde looting
Our lives on a line
Held up in broad daylight
Until they'd left with nothing to spare
Savages to which
My men's lives
Meant as much as a case of beer
All in mind
The safety of my men
Whether I'd ever see her face again
Jul 2021 · 56
Be safe
Lee Jul 2021
My homeland
Under siege
Looted and burned
To free the corrupt
The ignorance of a nation
Indoctrinated into chaos
Yet here I sit
Hoping only for the safety
The safety of all I love so dearly
Be it the love I have
The love I never had
My concerns only
For the safety of all
Where pieces of my heart resides
Jul 2021 · 142
Seeing you at sea
Lee Jul 2021
Time and time again
My mind runs
Far to a place it cannot be
Coinciding so sweetly with memories
There it finds solice
On a beach
Maybe at backline
Gazing back in the waves
Each time emerging
The most incredible being
Any man could ever lay their eyes on
As drawn to the earth as I
Be it the ocean
Personifying the waters of life
Most crucial of all
Glimpses of heaven
Exalted gloriously in her eyes
Jul 2021 · 37
I need to get a grip
Lee Jul 2021
When will the inner me
The subconscious *****
Get a grip
You were never hers
Those soft eyes
The true stairway to heaven
The very same eyes that only saw pain
Reflections of my own distraught world
It was only care
She never loved you
Get it into your head!

Forget it

She's permanently etched
Deep within
Along fibres and neurons
From thought to coping mechanisms

You were mearly her friend
Acquaintance at most
You ****** it all up though
Just someone she now wishes she'd never known
Bits and pieces from a few short poems I've never posted, just threw them together
Jun 2021 · 46
I'll try to be polite
Lee Jun 2021
Morning lies
My trial for error
Hearings and lawyers
My boss and his wife
Three indivuduals
I've to convince
I'm sorry
Why it happened?
How could I tell them
These things in my brain
Roots to likes classified
Something I myself denied
A penalty cursing through time
With no resemblance of my old sight
I really did not mean to start a fight
It's just I've truly lost my might
You see I'm afraid I'll never someones knight
Self demise, my very own plight
I guess it's now time for me
To drift off into the night
Jun 2021 · 76
The hard route
Lee Jun 2021
I've never known anything easy
From love
All the way down
To work
I couldn't give myself a break
This my curse
My inability to be a burden
More so a fear
Always being too much
I drove her off
I made her hate me
Now she's forgotten me
Even worse if she thinks me a freak
Do you see?
What it's like to be me
How does one carry on being
Here I question it
Tomorrow back at it
My mind is diseased
I've purposely been torching it
I've never known anything easy
Atleast I can't allow myself the ease
My mind and soul
Now running off
Just like her
Taking the smart route
While all I know, the hard ones
I guess they had to flee
For their own safety
Jun 2021 · 184
Up in flames
Lee Jun 2021
The fire
Once ruled my heart
The very same fire
Now torching my mind
Jun 2021 · 44
The weight got too much
Lee Jun 2021
Last night I got arrested
I snapped and strangled a coworker
I couldn't see nor hear
Fueled by pure rage
I had to fight myself to let go

Then it happened again
I went for the next one

Safe to say
I really have issues

I'm jobless now
Still the family disappointment
Now the delinquent too
Being dropped off some time to midnight
A convoy of police vans

My whole neighbourhood
I guess now they all see the delinquent in me

I've lost the plot
My mind societies game
Just another pawn

I really do have more problems than I'd hoped for

Left still to wonder
This pain inside unseen
Hopefully soon I can figure out my way
To never again be seen
Jun 2021 · 155
Dahlia & Life
Lee Jun 2021
The name of an absolute beauty
A soulful being of splender
Delight and wonder

The dog
Above all others
The dog that saved me
A time I'd gone yonder
When I'd fallen for an angel

Her name recalling
My fondest reminiscence
Our first walk
Our walk with that woman
I'd pictured to be my wife
Leaving me now with only
Irregular breathing
My mind bleeding
Nothing more for life
Jun 2021 · 40
Never me
Lee Jun 2021
Back at it self studying
When all I'd thought
Life's what you make it out to be
Then again
It's never been for me
I'd only realized this
Knowing it wouldn't be us til eternity
Jun 2021 · 129
Seeing faces scares me
Lee Jun 2021
Faces forever more
Foreign to me
My inability to look
All this my only fear
Seeing your eyes
The only thing I'd need
That moment
Ultimate bliss
Incomparable heartbreak
Which it'd be
I wouldn't know
I've become permanently afraid
Afraid of seeing faces
Jun 2021 · 46
It came to me in epiphany
Lee Jun 2021
Her heart
The Grandest Sunflower
Not to wild but free
I wouldn't catch it
My fear, saved her
I had to let her be
Only truly free
Without me
Jun 2021 · 45
Two sides
Lee Jun 2021
Life's mysteries
That which I'd prayed
To change
It couldve been better for me
It would've only been worse for you
Jun 2021 · 394
The closed door
Lee Jun 2021
I don't know what's real anymore
Back at it once more
To the moon and back
Everywhere inbetween
This crippling anguish
For a love never mine
What is this all for
That heavily barricaded door
I tried getting through
To declare one's sorrow
For a time long ago
Tirelessly I've prayed
For one I'm deprived
Endlessly ruling a withering heart
I repent
A thousand times over
A million more
It doesn't help
I guess I'll carry on
My only peace
Seeing her as I open the front door
Jun 2021 · 41
Life after you
Lee Jun 2021
For love I pushed the Dearest away
When all I want is to hold her
Burning within to this day
Could she have been my cure
The miracle I saught to save
Instead saving me
Ones kind too rare
Now lost in the wake
Seeing her be swept away
The best for her sake
Happy for her I wade off indismay
In silence and poetry I break
Solitarlily I fade
Take what you can from my poetry.
I've never been very good at it but if these words move you to do in love what I couldn't
My final chapter
Goodbye everybody
Live free and love

I got the title from a song
Life after you - Daughtry
Jun 2021 · 31
Could she ever forgive me
Lee Jun 2021
Oh how I've prayed and plea
In excruciating agony
To be free
For you and me
I feel as if thee
Were all for me
But I had to flea
Impossible I'd thought for us to be
To realise unfortunately
I couldn't even save me
Jun 2021 · 56
My only wish
Lee Jun 2021
For the life of me
Could our two worlds not collide
Just once more
Once more to last
Forever more
If this is it for me, I hope someone takes it to heart and does what I could.
Let love guide and save you or be a drip like me
Jun 2021 · 195
None other than You
Lee Jun 2021
I wonder
Will there come a time
A time of clarity
One of peace
That moment of Bliss
Raw love and admiration

Will it devour us
Could we let it save us
If ever you and I could ever be
With you, the happiest I've ever been

It's all I dream of
Everything I crave
First and always
It's still you
The things I wish I could tell her
Don't ever let anything get in the way of love, if you love someone love them endlessly and don't ever let go, let love take over, do what you feel is right in the moment.
I'd hate to see anyone do what I did so live your lives!
A lesson I learnt the hard way, let love guide you!
Jun 2021 · 47
It always comes as a yawn
Lee Jun 2021
Life many questions
Nothing seems to surptise
I don't know what to do to go forth
Left in entirity
As a questionable
Life takes its toll
One again drained to the core
I do not know how to go further more
Jun 2021 · 134
Lee Jun 2021
This evening my life changes
For better or worse I couldn't tell
The outcome dependant
Many variables in play
This evening
I change my life
For the same I cannot remain
Much in preparation
More so in deliberation
My ultimate conclusion?

This evening I must change my life forever
Jun 2021 · 34
Rain on me
Lee Jun 2021
This morning I stood in the rain
Unafraid of illness
Not bothered by the cold
Something moved me
I couldn't explain what
Delusional again
I felt her
I felt her smile
I'd heard she was well
Someone told me she was happy

For the love that never was mine nor ever shall be

I am proud of you
You're doing great
Keep your chin up
You can handle anything
I ** you
I miss you
Jun 2021 · 40
One of many questions
Lee Jun 2021
Her faded touch
Etched deeply in memory
How must I carry such
For what never was mine
An evening alone
I lay beside her
Nothing in my mind
Not pain
No consequence
I felt only love
In a moment
Flashed images
An entire life
Never to be mine
How can I carry this
For what is most likely to be
Another man's wife
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