Today I wept
Amidst a thousand bodies
The smell of lavender
Brought only your scent
Then too
Your warmth
Your smile
Your hearbeat through your embrace
For the final time
I walk away to forget you
It's been months since we last spoke
A few days since I walked away
Yet still it feels like I loved you just yesterday
This moment forth
I can no longer let you riddle my mind
With this my last poem
Of you
Whom I loved so dearly
In such mysterious ways
Ways I could never understand
Ways I hope he loves you
Goodbye
Anic
A coward to have never said it to your face
I couldn't knowing you'd cry
I know you waited to see me
Before I'd left
I'll never forget your last word
"Hey"
As I'd walked away
Nor could I forget the look in your eyes
The pain and uncertainty
Just know it was never my plan to hurt you
I only ever wanted the best for you
By some miracle you read this someday
I did love you
You'll forever be
What I felt to be
The truest love
Of all time
Surely this the reason you're so hard to forget
Take care
I wish you well

Dearest Anic
Tu es un amour
Tu es léger
Tu es tout ce dont tu auras jamais besoin

This pain in my chest
Undying
To each thought of you
Reminding
My feelings for you
Undying
There really is no
Denying
As I lay motionlesss
Crying
I try so hard just to be
Failing
All truly because I was afraid of
Loving
Moments come fast when I feel like
Exploding
Yet lay I here at some point everyday
Collapsing
Further Into myself
Imploding
Without any denial
Dying

I dreamt I'd died
That I'd stood aside and watched my funeral
Only to see you there
I couldn't move
I couldn't speak
I was trapped
Watching you cry
It'd made me weak
To the point I woke
Only to cry myself
To sleep again

I know I haven't the right
Yet still I dream of you at night
I dream of the first time we'd been introduced
That moment I was instantly seduced
I dream of you laughing
You're always smiling
Your every move graceful
Impossibly beautiful

I lay here now

I just want to love you

Questioning how

How could I have loved you

I get it
Hopefully it brought you closure
Just understand this
I did as I did
For you
For you alone
It tore me apart
Far from the point
I'd done it all for you
I had to leave
My presence your toxicity
My absence your healing
Many things went unsaid
Most likely best that way
I do wish you well
Only ever
I could never be mad
Not with you
I wish you well
In health
In life
In love

Have you ever met someone
Someone who's smile alone
Gave you peace
Joy
Love
The hope of a better world

I dreamt of you
I dreamt I lay aside you
Your head arest my chest
My fingers scribbling
I was actually writing
Writing about you
Your every beauty
From soul to being
Could I tell you this
Out of place
We're strangers now

The mark has been made
The X of pain
Crimson it flowed
As tears
Cowardice
For I couldn't handle it
I ran again
The X of cowardice
Shaking
Trembling
Because I saw you again

Why do I feel you
Everywhere I go
I've come to terms
With what I'd done
Although still
I feel the need to see you again
Even briefly
Although it's best not to
I think, I assume
But I hope still
To see you someday
To see you smile
To know you are okay
Even from a far
I just need to know you are okay

Nogsteeds sit ek hier
Onder die puin van gister
My hart en gedagte
n opoffering vir jou
Om vir jou gelukkig te wees
Ek het geweet
Dit gaan my sou vermoor
Maar vir jou moes ek dit doen
Nou net 'n skaduwee
Van Wie ek was
My familie verloor oor wie ek is
*** kan ek aan gaan
Maar ek moet
Vir die mensdom
Vir die herinnering aan u
Ek sal opoffer wat oor is
Want dit is geen manier om te leef nie
As 'n holle dop hou ek jou tot aan die einde

Why did it have to be you
I never wanted this to be
I couldn't have given you eternity
For the first time in my life
I'd loved so hard
A love that couldn't be
I would not break you
My intentions pure
My influence poison
You were perfect just as you were
I hope you haven't changed
Oh what I'd give to see your smile again
Just to see you happy
A happiness I could never give you
That's all I'd ever wanted
Your heart so pure
A love unparalleled

I wish we'd never met
You're just too hard to forget

Traveled half way
Across the globe
Yet you're still with me
My head in turmoil
My heart a mess
Now coming home
Pulse slowing
Knees jittering
Apon this airport table top
Six hours to a flight
I wish not to board
Do I disappear
Do I climb aboard
Will I see you
Can I come home
To be without you

I'm sorry
I'm dying
Soon heartless
So with this
I might as well
Do as I was taught
Help others
With this time I've left

Blood stains
Body pains
My sanity
Bringing clarity
Purpose defined
Skills refined
For love I did deny
Only so to get by
Knife wounds
Healing my mind
For I was born a fighter
Thus I could never be your lover

Who am I
But only a lost lover
For my love I did find
Fearful I'd hurt you
I had to leave
Day after day
This haunts me
Down I plummet
Beneath rock bottom
In you I found peace
I found true love
You are so close
Yet so far
Only to be further
I love you
Oh how I wish I'd told you
Although you already knew
For you I give my heart
I need it not where I go
Just know that I'll always love you
No matter the time
Nor the distance
You are always
The love I lost forever

You asked me to leave so I did
This slowly destroyed me
Killed what remained of Liam
So much to the point I had to leave
This time for good
From here a solitary journey
You've given me purpose
Shown me the direction
I thank you for this
Just do me a simple favour
Forget about me
The way you pretended to

I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for everything
I'm sorry for leaving
I'm falling apart
I can't help myself
I'd hoped you wouldn't see me like that
It's not what you think
I know it looked really bad
I know you probably have questions
For your sake I think it's best they're unanswered
Just know it was just
It had to be done
For my sake
For the sake of others
This path I follow
I can only take it alone
With you in my heart I feel purpose
My love please be well
Along your many journeys
With God in your heart
You are guided
He loves you infinitely

I love you but have no right
The center of God's heart
You shine so bright
I am so sorry
This is the only way
So I must go away
I cannot help but drown
In you
You are all I ever wanted
More so
Everything I ever needed
Yet still so much more
I know I've hurt you
I cannot do it again
I'm doing this for you
You will flourish
This is all I want for you
Only so without me
Anic
Please take this as a blessing
You never needed me
Not the way I need you
I'm setting you free
Essentially
To Grace you your full potential
I cannot help but cry
As I reminess
The times I felt such love
The times I ******* up
With this poem
I free you of me
This is the end of me
The beginning for you
Please understand
I do this for you!

I know you're home
Its kind of hard when you're my neighbour
I want so badly just to say hello again
To look into your eyes and feel okay
I just had to be the *****
I won't lie I was scared
Just those few words ****** it all up
Now out of place
I can't even talk to you
I know it's for the best though
You're happy now and I see that
I'm happy for you I really am
Although I'm dying inside
Scavenging what remains of myself
All I wish for Is to see you again
To have the courage to tell you
I miss you
I know I haven't the right
Its not what it may seem though
I'd just like to be friends again
Although it's an impossibility
Due to my arrogance
This is why I sit downstairs
In solitary
I'm sorry again
I miss you so much

I miss you so much
For my heart, you are it's crutch
Without you so lost
For this I cannot get past
You're all I need and so much more
Just take my hand, let's close the door
Take my soul, it's already yours
Give me your soul, let us open new doors
I need nothing more than you
So let us be two
Two on a mission
Purest of intention
I want to hold you
Its simple really, I need you
I need to kiss you, then it's your discretion
I hope it's a kiss that leaves a lasting impression
So much so as to change our relation
Your faith I will carry proudly
Firstly
My Angel, I need you
with me
To show me the way
Let's fall inlove
Will you be my queen
Let's rise above
Let nothing come inbetween

I want you
To be you
With me
Til eternity
Just us two
Me and you

At first she were just a girl
Beauty an understatement
Heart of purest gold
Mind of the highest Queen
In touch so gentle
A love too strong
In a world so cold
Apon you wish I only the greatest
For a love of mine you did become
Keep strong in faith
Your future guided
Toward great horizons you shall glide
Through waters of love
Showered with light
The positivity you unfurl
It'll lead you well
The greatest journey
I wish for you

I am the only one who can save me
Seemingly you were my only need
Here I am begging on my knees
Begging for my existence to cease
Hands shaking, knees weak
I haven't the heart so see you again Anic
I am but poison
Maybe a little frozen
A heart returning to stone
Prepping for a journey all alone
To me you were home
To you was I only cold to the bone
Now heartless in appearance
I seek only disappearance
Let the void consume me
Do not look for me
Let me
End me

He resides deep down in the ribcage Amidst the dead leaves
Of his own dying heart