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18.5k · Dec 2014
Parents Just Don't Understand
Jarred Dec 2014
I like to meme all the time
I like to meme with a rhyme
I like to meme when I dine
Give me my smart phone back, mom, or I’ll ******* **** you
Jarred Dec 2014
I'm thirsty.
I picked the wrong color shirt today.
This seat keeps rocking back and forth.
There aren't anymore napkins.
"Hey can I get you anything else?"
"Mmmprhpp"
No please don't go my hands are filthy oh god why does this bother me so much
Jarred Jan 2015
"Who profits more?
The cup that fulfills its purpose?
Or the drinker?"
The students didn't answer.
The bell had rung.
They wouldn't get any participation credit.
It wouldn't affect their grade.
The professor didn't care either.
He was just filling the time.
If they thought about it or not,
He would still get payed.
He fulfilled his purpose.
1.5k · Jan 2015
1/25/15
Jarred Jan 2015
Why does everybody
run up the stairs
slow down bud
they ain't scary
Jarred Jan 2015
Jesus Christ grandma
"Oriental"
isn't a term we use anymore
770 · Feb 2015
1:36 AM Wilkes-Barre, PA
Jarred Feb 2015
We were walking
down some street
well,
I was walking
He had a scooter
Jarred Feb 2015
The fresh snow hits the ground
it blends together with the dirt
the kind of dirt that comes from
a economically defunct college town
it kind of looks like ice cream
but don't eat it.
i prefer pizza flavor haha gotcha!
630 · Feb 2016
Snow Cone in Minnesota
Jarred Feb 2016
Ice Cream and Nuked Brownie
Fridge Beer and Hot Shower
Open Car Window and Speeding Down a Summer Highway
But you and me are the same temperature
Even if i try to get close you won't notice the difference
I don't think i even want a difference
Jarred Jan 2015
The finger that points
to the moon
is not the moon
"No **** Sherlock,
real ****** perceptive."
The Moon replied sarcastically
ahhh help me help ahh
Jarred Mar 2015
All I ever wanted to do
Is take a deep breath
of the mold from my childhood
589 · Jul 2016
Karl Marx Masturbated
Jarred Jul 2016
Love is a whole lot of ******* labor
With **** ******* wages and worse benefits
False self consciousness
An identity connected to who you do
Or who you want to do
And how much you do it
I'd like to form a union
But it'd take too much effort
I'll just use my Kulak on myself in the country side
It's just as good as anything else
Engels did it too, probably a lot
576 · Jan 2015
Pieonysian
Jarred Jan 2015
A slice of pizza
never condemned me to hell
ball's in your court, Muhammad.
wow edgy sick burn on religion bro got em
Jarred Jan 2015
I had a dream last night.
I was on a bridge.
A man was there too.
He was missing a few eyes.
he heard me walking, i think.
he turned to me, and smiled.
then he asked:
"Is this high enough?"
It was an ok dream. i rate it 10/10 why not good dream dream of the year
542 · Jan 2015
I Woke Up Early
Jarred Jan 2015
Black veins slashed on avid gray
Black specks of parasites flit
Back and forth, nesting and *******
Back and forth, voracious and desperate
They won't stop chirping
The ******* *******
Jarred Feb 2015
What if we died and this was heaven
Nah can't be
Why not
My lips are chapped
529 · Feb 2015
Then it is replaced
Jarred Feb 2015
a cog in the machine
it doesn't question
it doesn't think
it doesn't realize
it does the job it was made to
until it breaks
jesus i'm being a edge lord lately
524 · Feb 2015
Those Old Breakup Blues
Jarred Feb 2015
What happened to the radio?
What happened to the paper?
What happened to smashing
boss tweed?
To triangle shirt fires?
Or leaving half of a tape blank,
Just to ******* EMI?
Was it us?
Did we become the bad guy?
or we could hear more about that shooting i guess, shouting at us is better than shouting at them isn't it?
507 · Dec 2014
12/22/14
Jarred Dec 2014
I met God today, walking down the street.
Or at least, someone who is supposed to look like him.
He told me to “*******”.
Jarred Feb 2015
"L'enfer, c'est les autres"
Is how the saying goes
Please stop trying
Don't take me
to hell with you
Jarred Aug 2016
Her ****** was confusing
Like a Cretan Labyrinth
Her dad was the Minotaur
Jarred Feb 2015
If that's so true
I'll take part
in the part
that doesn't
take part
458 · Oct 2018
10/22/2018
Jarred Oct 2018
The wind is cold
But god!
The sun is so warm
Jarred Feb 2015
It used to be
If you wanted to listen
to some random conversation
you'd actually hear something
remember that time that guy did that thing hahah great times
454 · Dec 2014
Good morning class,
Jarred Dec 2014
Before we start today
We first need to swear that we love
a bunch of lines drawn on a map
and you better do it
because a bunch of people you don't know
shot a bunch of people you don't know
453 · Mar 2017
Inevitable Compromise
Jarred Mar 2017
Your morals
Your goals
Your image
Your life
393 · Feb 2015
Title (optional)
Jarred Feb 2015
If I reject the clock
Do I reject the sun?
The moon?
You?
378 · Jan 2015
Good Games, Guy
Jarred Jan 2015
Your game is a good game
Thanks for making a good game


Keep it up,
A Guy Who Likes Good Games
372 · Jan 2015
A Poem For Tom
Jarred Jan 2015
I couldn't think
of a poem
for Tom
Happy Birthday
People are dying
371 · Jun 2015
Dear Dr. Everett
Jarred Jun 2015
Am I alive In your world?
Or am I the dead cat in the box,
Just like you are in mine?
357 · Jan 2015
I went for a walk today
Jarred Jan 2015
Fragile strips of white fall
on the hateful, merciless ground
like everything else, really.
354 · Feb 2015
2/28/15
Jarred Feb 2015
My favorite people
are the ones who
do the things
that I don't
want to do
334 · Jan 2015
Dear God,
Jarred Jan 2015
Do you exist?
It would be nice if you did
But considering the circumstances,
I would very much understand if you didn't want to.
luv yo main g j-rad keep it fresh keep it real but don't keep it real fresh
324 · Feb 2015
2/11/15
Jarred Feb 2015
There are only two Gods
We know them from birth

The God of Society
The God of Hunger

I think I know which one
Is looking out for me
its cuz im just always hungry for them slices
323 · Mar 2015
Dear Santa
Jarred Mar 2015
I've been real good
the entire whole year
for Christmas I want
to be a skeleton
johntronwillneverbgonetron
285 · Feb 2015
Untitled
Jarred Feb 2015
Art's nice and abstract now
It means everything
It means nothing
We'll sell it for millions
And if anyone tries to stop us
Their art won't be abstract enough.
175 · Aug 2018
Trillion Dollar Company
Jarred Aug 2018
I can't afford shoes.
What should i do?
i'll get my friends
i'll get a gun
i'll come for you
164 · Jun 2019
6/8/2019
Jarred Jun 2019
I am much too fat, to sit on the grass.
The brown earth is too weird,
For my ugly white ***.
159 · Apr 2019
4/7/19
Jarred Apr 2019
Deep wind breaths as we go.
God!
The sky! The hills! The trees! And
Oh
There’s petco.
159 · Jul 2019
Serious Matters
Jarred Jul 2019
Sometimes you want to talk about Serious Matters
Dark matters of philosophy, like death and free will.
You know that I'll sit down and listen.
For such stuff is (my favorite) bitter pill.

I'll furrow my big eyebrows with intent,
but secretly I am not being that true.
Inside I am still smiling,
Because I'm talking such matters with YOU!
114 · Jul 2021
7/27/2021
Jarred Jul 2021
I wish I knew **** about the sky
nothing about vapor and molecules and precipitation
or ***** of angry hydrogen

God! Send down a bolt from sky,
or a loose-y from a passing over Boeing 737
(I'm not picky)

Let it strike me right through the frontal lobe
and let the caveman crawl to the mountain top
and throw his arms up
and see the heavens torn asunder.

— The End —