I know I've done absolutely nothing
to prove myself worthy
of receiving anything remotely close
to a second chance.

But I hope
if there's any part left of you
that remembers what was
you might give me one anyway.

Lest I fade into dust.

In the morning I wake up
Try to work past the gloom,
and ignore the anxiety
that’s filling the room.

Walk into the kitchen,
prepare myself some food.
do what I can
not to sulk, not to brood.

Off to the corner,
Take a seat in my chair.
Then I sullenly look
out the window and stare.

The rain falling gently,
The skies filled with grey.
I just can’t find a reason
to be happy today.

There’s nobody coming
To visit me here.
No friendly presence,
to dissipate all my fears.

The phone sits there silent.
No one is calling.
My home is well looked after
but hardly enthralling.

My only companion
Died five years ago.
I’ve somewhat kept moving,
albeit painfully slow.

What’s left of me
feels in such disarray.
I just can’t find a reason
to be happy today.

My son never calls me,
always has other plans.
I suppose that he thinks,
that I’ll just understand.

Most friends never take time,
to ask “how are things?”
They just don’t want to hear
That there’s pain and it stings.

I haven’t got a place
for a cat or a dog.
No, it’s just me here
As I sit in the fog.

I could try to do different,
from this eccentric bouquet,
but I just can’t find a reason
to be happy today.

It's a warm and humid night out there,
the creek beds are sitting dry,
And there's a spark of energy,
That's sailing across the sky.

You can almost feel it on your skin,
or sense it with your mouth.
It's one sure sign that summers raging,
in the Mississippi south.

Out along the beach resorts,
It blasts across the Gulf,
With all the the pent up rushing
of a radiating pulse.

Against the darkened mat of clouds,
what a frenzied show to see,
You don't need your cash tonight,
these fireworks are free.

There's no rain drops here to speak of,
beneath the brilliant moon,
but with the sky ablaze like that,
The storm is coming soon.

But enjoy it while you've got it,
Out in the yards and streets,
The flaming dance above our heads,
in the thick of summer heat.

Unrestrained by nature,
Quick and fierce and brash.
Powerful, relentless,
But vanished in a flash.

Out with the old, in with the new,
This is the work that we do do do.

Clean up the mess, bring out the best,
This is as good as it gets gets gets.

Clear all the debris that your eye can see,
break it loose, let it go, set it free, free, free.

Working so hard, a bit hurt, a bit scarred,
Trudge through the mud in the yard, yard, yard.

In the west, see the sun. The long shift about done,
Pack it in boys, the day is won, won, won!

Do you remember me?

Does my soul echo in your mind?

Does my voice cry out to you in the dark?

Does my touch still dance across your skin?

Does your heart still beat in tune with mine?

Or have you forgotten

Every last wonderful piece of what we were?

If only I could know for sure.

Hello shame, my longtime friend.
Why do we chance to meet again?

Hello anger, Hello fury,
Constant companion to all my worry.

Hello guilt and pain and fear,
How do you always find me here?

Hello sadness, I still remember
The last time we met in the bleak December.

Hello anguish and days uncertain,
As you steal my light and drop the curtain.

Hello poetry,
Goodbye, stress.
Mental recovery,
Escape from the mess.

Hello poetry,
Goodbye, aggression.
Spiritual healing,
a calm decompression.

Hello poetry,
Goodbye, rage.
Fighting my demons,
Page by blissful page.

Hello poetry,
Goodbye, worry.
Weaving stanzas together,
In rhythmical fury.

Hello poetry,
Goodbye, confusion.
Where wordsmithing magic,
exists in profusion.

I'm still here.

I can't hold you.
I can't hug you.
I can't visit you.

But I'm still here.

I still love you.
I still believe in you.
I still fight for you.

I'm still here.

I can't join you.
I can't hold you.
I can't feel you.

But I'm still here.

And I'm not leaving.

I am here, but you can't see me.

I am close, but you can't touch me.

I am thinking of you, but you don't know it.

I am praying for you, but you don't hear it.

I care for you, but it may not be obvious.

I cry for you, but keep my tears carefully hidden.

I am here.

How different would things be if I weren't?

Here I am alone in my room.
Nestled with the dark and the gloom.
A thick blanket of night,
With a layer of fright,
And a prayer that the end's coming soon.

Here I am alone in this place,
Mind adrift in the vastness of space.
A ghost without form,
Tossed about in the storm,
As a lone teardrop streams down my face.

Here I am alone in this spot,
Panicked and shaking, nerves fraught.
Courage? I've none.
This old spirit is done.
For this is the pain that I've wrought.

Fabulously decadent.
Amazing and powerful.
Incredibly tantalizing.
Lovely and enticing.
Unreal beauty and grace.
Ravishing, like a brilliant rose.
Endearingly joyful.

This old house, this grey broken place,
Frozen in time as an eternal disgrace.
Children live hollowed, a family displaced,
A past without meaning, a future erased.

Pale blue walls and long fading boards,
Shredded white curtains and fire ant hoards,
Such are the stains of hate and discord
And the glory of what here once was? Now ignored.

Beyond rusty metal and chipping off paint,
You'll find a soft bed with some tiny restraints,
Out in the shadows, a little girl cries faint,
A childhood of sorrows. Not peaceful, not quaint.

It's so hard to see from the rotting dead wood,
In the place where warmth and passion once stood.
There's some photos to save but I don't know if I should.
And a story to tell but I'm not sure that I could.

Up those broken stairs are two little boys beds,
Where they used to lay down their adventurous heads.
But now there's no laughter, no fuzzy warm spread,
Just suffering and fear and loathing instead.

And so I wallow in memories painfully sore,
completely devoid of strength left to explore.
So I bid farewell to the dark place once more,
Pack up my anguish and head out the door.

Already been three sleepless nights,
Endless phone calls, connecting flights,
but I'm going to be there.

They lost my keys at the rent-a-car,
The road ahead is still very far,
but I'm going to be there.

The tank is about half full with gas,
My wits are shot, I'm low on cash,
but I'm going to be there.

I haven't eaten for a couple of days,
and I can barely see through the murky haze,
but I'm going to be there.

Be sure to leave the sheets turned down,
I promise I will not let you down.
I'm going to be there.

Take me down to Broadway,
Let me hear the music play.
With a stiff drink in my hand,
There is where I want to stay.

I always love these Nashville nights,
no disagreements, no petty fights.
Just you and me and the music scene,
as we dance amidst the lights.

The manager yells out: "Last call!"
But I don't want leave the music hall.
Maybe just one final tune
before we heed the call.

At three a.m., we're still nice and warm.
The end of the night is taking form.
On to the street in the pouring rain,
we wander through the storm.

I always love these Nashville nights.
So many sounds, so many sights.
Now the shadows guide us home,
and we dream of new delights.

I just want to hug you
And never let go.
To tell you everything
That I think you should know.

I just want to hold you,
each and every day.
As my fears and my stress,
slowly melt away.

I want to keep you safe,
And secure and protected.
I want you to know
That you’re loved and respected.

I love the warmth of your smile,
the open joy of your laugh.
You’ve stolen my heart,
and I don’t want it back.

One day you’ll be grown,
and I’ll be past my prime.
but I’ll still be watching,
through the shadows of time.

I know that change
Is life’s only constant.
And you won’t stay this small,
No matter how much I want it.

On the journey life takes us,
We’ll change and we’ll grow,
But I’ll still want to hug you
And never let go.

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
but you're not going to care.
Even if waves of beautiful snow,
are flying through the air.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
not really quite your thing.
You're not a festive type of person,
and you don't do caroling.

Silent night, Holy night.
Your house is quiet and dark.
Completely devoid of warmth or light,
Empty and quite stark.

Do you hear what I hear?
Does it ever touch your heart?
Are you content to spend the holidays,
alone and set apart?

I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
but I guess that's what you want.
12/25 all by yourself,
and a New Year just as gaunt.

I sit alone in the darkness
I sit at the edge of my bed.
I sit alone in the darkness,
There's nothing but pain in my head.

I stand alone in the dust storm,
I stand far, far apart.
I stand alone in the dust storm,
carrying such a hurt in my heart.

I walk alone down the pathway,
I walk at the edge of the cliff,
I walk alone down the pathway,
Wounded and damaged and stiff.

I wait alone in the madness,
I wait in the rough of the night,
I wait alone in the madness,
Nothing left in me to fight.

I cry alone in the chaos,
I cry in the grasp of my fear,
I cry alone in the chaos,
Dreaming it would all disappear.

I sing alone by the seashore,
I sing a very sad song,
I sing alone by the seashore,
No more will to be strong.

I mourn alone by the gravestone,
I mourn for the ones who are gone,
I mourn alone by the gravestone,
As I wait for the empty of dawn.

I lay alone in my prison,
I lay alone so unnerved.
I lay alone in my prison,
The sentence has got to be served.

I drift alone in the ocean,
I drift in the swirl of waves,
I drift alone in the ocean,
For all of the rest of my days.

I am the best and the worst,
as much as I'm blessed I've been cursed.

I am the dark and the light,
as I shine I scream out in the night.

I am the beginning and end,
as I break through the wall and transcend.

I am the birth and the death,
as I feel the chill in my breath.

I am healthy.
(I am hurting...)

I am strong.
(I am suffering...)

I am confident.
(I am insecure...)

I am fearless.
(I am frightened...)

I am powerful.
(I am meek...)

I am invincible.
(I am broken...)

I am joyful.
(I am human...)

I make an appearance when you least expect it.
Shadows announce my arrival.

I envelop everything around you.
When I am near, I am all you can focus on.

My fury is carried on the wind
and though you may find shelter.
You cannot escape what I am
or the effects of what I have done.

Eventually I will leave
but until such time
that this turbulent world
calls me back again.

She was beautiful.
She was smart.
She was mine.

But somehow, I let it slip away
before my eyes.

So instead of being the man
I wanted to be.

I'm sitting here in a ***** tonk bar,
drowning my misery,
to the sounds of Jason Aldean.

I'm not much for concealment.
I prefer to fight in the open.
But this an enemy I cannot see.

So I have to put the mask on.

I don't like hiding from you dear.
I've always been an open book.
But I've sworn to protect you.

So I have to put the mask on.

It's not exactly stylish,
and it pinches near my ears.
But I realize the dangers around me.

So I have to put the mask on.

Someday this will all be over.
We'll dance without any fear.
But right now it's about survival.

So I have to put the mask on.

I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have gotten angry.
I shouldn't have screamed.
I shouldn't have raised my fist in anger.
I shouldn't have hurt you.

I tried to hold it together,
but the world stripped away
my patience and gentleness
and replaced it with fury and fear.

Someone had to suffer.

And I'm sorry it was you.

I just saw you.
I just hugged you.
I just smiled at you.

I just thought
of all the fun things we'd
for the holidays.

I just thought
about that cruise we'll be taking
next summer.

I thought about all
the memories we would make
in the years ahead.

Now you're gone.

And I can't think of anything
but the hurt...

A wooden desk.
An empty page.
A mind that's filled
with fire and rage.

A dash of moonlight,
A lamp on a stand,
Shadows in the distance,
a pen in my hand.

A life shattered inwards,
A stiff whiskey drink.
Endless heartbreak to tell of,
but no drops of ink.

A writer who can't write,
like a groom with no bride.
An unfulfilled person,
with sadness inside.

It seems the vows we made
mean different things to you than to me.

I thought you the one.
I thought you'd treat me better.

My scars say otherwise.

All of this pain. All of this madness.

What did I do to deserve it?

The answer, it appears, is nothing.

It was merely your overwhelming desire
to control every part of me.

I don't doubt for an instant
that you would have denied me the benefit of breathing

were it in your power to seal my lungs...

On this evening of magic...
The sun hangs low,
Winds blow strong,
Nature shines in all her glory.
Up above the clouds roll past,
over a sea of vibrant hues.
With nights like these it's no mystery why,
it's so easy to soar in an indigo sky.

Along the great lakes...
mighty trees stand watch,
eternal guardians of nature's sanctum.
The money men should know,
this place must stay untouched,
and flourish as the years go by,
Swift as a bird in the indigo sky.

Why did I try to stop this thing
I always knew was coming?
Why did I waste the energy
on a war I knew I wouldn't win?

Was it pride?
Was it ego?
Was it self-denial?

Nothing matters now.
The monster is here for me
and I have no choice to follow.

It can be no other way.

Enveloped in a cloud of smoke,
The fury of the growing fire
lashes at my skin.
Sweat pours down my face.
My breathing becomes labored.

The roar of the fire pierces my ears.
The pain settles in.

Yet somehow, I like it.

It was vicious.
It was brutal.
It was merciless.

We saw the blood.
We heard the screams.
We looked into your eyes.

Everyone knows you did it.

Yet somehow I am the one
who is made to take the bullet.

However wrong his words may be,
the Judge has spoken.

All I have left is the growing darkness.

I walked the line to Folsom Prison,
took some advice from a boy named Sue.
Never found the flesh and blood that I needed,
but at least I'm not in the jailhouse now.

I remember the songs of my childhood,
When daddy always sang bass.
But these days I get so lonely, I just cry, cry, cry.
And seems like every other weekend
It's Sunday morning coming down.

So give my love to Rose. I hated to leave her.
I've done my best to let go of the hurt
and put myself back together one piece at a time.
In the end I got burned by a ring of fire,
but I still never found the Man in Black.

Two seats are waiting for me,
on a slow train to hell.
There's no getting out of it.

In the midst of an unsettled night,
I get whisked away down the tracks.
...ba-bump-ba-bump-ba-bump-ba-bump...
this is the sound that follows me to my grave.

The world I know fades away.
Replaced by something darker,
twisted, and impeccably unnerving.
For the moment, I am not afraid.
But I suspect that won't last long.
The lights grow dimmer.
I can hear the growling of monsters
around the curve up ahead.

My body tenses.
Bloodcurdling screams
pierce the foggy night.
Two sinister red eyes,
born out of the depths of hell
lock their gaze on me.

Something...is terribly wrong.

Insanity wraps around me like
a warm blanket on a winters night.

My faculties are lost.

A preacher cannot save me.
A doctor cannot heal me.
A loved one can not help me.

The creature lashes out
with a warrior fierceness.
It eviscerates my flesh with its claws.
The end draws ever closer.
And even though I am terrified,
a strange calm comes upon me.

The last of my life force drains
from my weak and frail human form.
The creature devours what's left of me.
As the train goes plummeting over the cliff
into the impenetrable darkness below.

I am often asked:
"How can one find poetry in such a damaged and desolate world?"

The answer is simple:

Poetry can be found anywhere.

It is the sorrow that drives our tears,
the sunshine that brings us joy,
our companion in the darkness,
and that which guides us to the light.

It is the music of our spirit,
the gentle beating of our hearts.
The triumphant wind on the mountaintop,
a source of comfort in a rainy forest.

It is the scream of a father in pain,
the gentleness of a newborn child.
It is the chaos of a raging river
and the calm of a summers day.

Poetry can be found anywhere.

Shadows, shadows,
Be my comfort.
Wrap me in
This lonely sleep.
In the coolness of your silence,
In the ocean of your deep.

Shadows, shadows,
I stay weeping,
For that place I cannot go.
And in the night,
I'm gently keeping,
Hold of what, I cannot know.

I tried to protect you,
but you ran in anyway.

I tried to warn you,
but you refused to listen.

I tried to stop you,
but you drowned me out.

I tried to help you,
but you closed your arms.

I tried to love you,
but you pushed me away.

I tried to save you,
but you let it all crumble.

I tried.

And it was wonderful.

It was magical.

It was power.

It was love.

But now I see

as I stand amidst my own ruins

that it was the stupidest thing

I could ever have done...

Just a tiny little poem.
Not all that much to say.
A bland uneventful moment.
Just a quiet, boring day.

It's a short piece of writing,
a brief dalliance of prose
A few words splashed around,
in a curious striking pose.

You won't find deep thoughts here,
no existential musing,
Just a few stray stanzas,
of my own convenient choosing.

This is my tiny little poem,
and it could be so much more,
but if we drag it out much longer.
It won't be tiny anymore.

So you can stop your guessing,
as I think I've made it clear,
that if I am to keep this poem tiny,
I must stop it now and here.

Before the wind wounded me.

Before my petals broke.

Before my roots withered.

Before the cold silenced me.

I was a flower.

Now I am nothing.

Imagine all the people
who, when faced with Instant Karma,
staunchly refuse to Come Together
and Give Peace A Chance.

A man's heart forgets about Yesterday,
As he lives in darkness Eight Days A Week.
Will he ever know, as he stands in the Rain,
that All You Need Is Love?

Across the Universe, the stars dance,
and children run In Strawberry Fields Forever.
Like Dreamers Do, we try to make the most of life.
In other times, we learn to simply Let It Be.

Wicked jungle, wild feast.
Go the distance, tame the beast.
Dance among the deadly trees,
in the blanket of a burning breeze.

Darkened, primal, forest floor.
Frame of natures darkest door.
Up the loudly raging river.
The body quakes, the spirit shivers.

Endless leaves and ragged vines,
Can't you read between the lines?
Birds of prey and a poison snake,
The wretched animals awake.

Running down that muddy path,
face the pain and feel the wrath.
The only chance that you've got now,
is whatever instinct will allow.

On the shore of the open lake,
You've just made your last mistake.
Hope is gone, you've lost control,
in the chaos, swallowed whole.

The Cosmos are quiet tonight.

Bright, vibrant, filled with marvelous wonders...but quiet.

Drifting through the starfield, I've got Saturn in my rear view.
The opaque beauty of Neptune awaits in the unending distance.

So cold it's striking, but I'll have to get over it.

The sun can't help me today.

So turbulent in the asteroid belt, I did not escape unscathed.
My hull may be damaged but my engines are intact.

The interstellar journey continues.

Below me I see the barren expanse of Pluto.

The tiniest of threads on the galactic blanket.

Then she fades into the darkness.

Earth is but an echo, Mars is but a shadow.

Out of the Solar system I fly.

Where to? Who knows

Judge.
Jury.
Sound.
Fury.

Violence.
Crime.
Danger.
Time.

People­s
Court.
Last
Resort.

Verdict.
Sentence.
Cold
Repentance.

Lawye­rs.
Police.
War
and Peace.

Guilty.
Missed them.
Broken
System.

I only wanted an hour.
That's all you ever had to give.
The other twenty three were yours,
To live the life you did.

I only wanted an hour,
but you always had other plans.
You never wanted to sit with me,
You never yearned to understand.

I only wanted an hour,
It's really not that much to ask.
Just sixty minutes of the real deal,
but you wouldn't drop the mask.

I only wanted an hour,
Even on that final day.
Until the end, you still refused,
and just let me fade way.

No.

I can't do it.

I reserve the right to be as angry and stubborn as I want to be.

This is a vicious world.

and I cannot sit idly by while injustice tears us apart.

This stops now.

I will fight for what I must.

But I refuse to put blinders on

and pretend everything is okay.

We've come a long way brother, I'm sad to see you go,
your constant presence at my side meant more than you could know.
Yes, we fought the wars together and by a hair we both survived.
That's always how we liked it: beaten, bruised but still alive.

Do you remember in the heady days, just how this all began?
We were just two young determined guys, without a real plan.
But we brought it all together and soon it became apparent,
That before too long we'd pass the phase of the foolish and the errant.

The great dynamic duo, the amazing perfect pair,
No one that stood against us would even have a prayer.
The great bond that can't be broken, of that I'm all but certain,
We'd be there side by side together, until the final curtain.

They'll write great songs about us, tell legendary tales,
Of those two amazing brothers who always managed to prevail.
Yes it's been a roller coaster ride, we nearly touched the sky.
But now the time has come when we have to say a tough goodbye.

The road is changing up ahead, we're set for different lanes,
You go your way, I go mine, things never quite the same.
I know it's necessary and I know it's for the very best,
but that doesn't mean I have to like it, it's not easy to digest.

I'll be ok without you. I promise you I will,
Kept strong by the faith and purpose, you managed to instill.
The distance, never easy. The separation, tough to swallow.
Used to be that where you went, I was the one to follow.

All of that has changed now and we're both on our own,
but I still believe we'll never have to face this world alone.
You've got your fighting spirit and lord knows that I've got mine,
there's no doubt that we can bring it when the worst is on the line.

So sadly this is where I leave you, but I never will forget,
every grueling sacrifice, every bit and blood and sweat.
A new path lays ahead for you, so enjoy it all my friend,
and know that one way or another, I'll be waiting at the end.

I begged and begged, but you would not do it.
I screamed with a voice so loud,
it pierced the deep of the night,
but you did not relent.

I hung over that precipice, legs dangling above the abyss.
Wishing and praying,
That you would just let me fall,
That you would go ahead and end it.

Still, your grip tightened.

I looked in your eyes, you looked in mine.
All I wanted was freedom.
All I wanted was my destiny.
All I wanted...was for you to release the chains.

You never did. And now we'll both pay a price
neither of us should ever have had to.

I remember well, the sunny days.
Dancing in the square.
The music, all the smells and sounds,
and you right with me there.

I remember when they came and said,
"The evil days have passed.
Now, we mark a new beginning,
A hope for peace at last."

There was much feasting on that very eve,
and an endless sea of smiles.
Yet somehow we failed to see demons,
that had been lurking all the while.

Suddenly, our freedom yanked,
like a blanket off the bed.
In its place an endless night,
and a wave of pain instead.

Now, I'm in the deepest place.
Cold and hungry, all alone.
Set free inside this prison,
That I get to call my own.

Do the thing you love to do,
Who cares if nothing of it's true?

Fiction and fantasy: Fun, Ideal,
So much better than the real.

Just make it up for me as you go
Exaggerate, but keep the flow.

Fake and phony are the right decision,
Treat me to your distorted vision

Make it as good as it can be,
I don't need the truth to be set free.

Rusty chains,
Years old pains,
A faint soul awash in the rains.

Live free
and you'll see
what this existence can be.

Imprisoned
just isn't
the fate we envisioned.

Live free,
turn the key,
Just do it for me.

Metal bars,
And deep scars,
Are no replacement for stars.

Hear my plea,
and to a wondrous degree,
Live free.