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Today I managed to convince myself that there was not a single soul in the world who loved me
That I was alone amongst stars whose names were long forgotten
Just as my own name was on the prescipice
Already a half murmered phrase, a syllable dropped here and there
Just me in inky sky watching my own hands crumble to smoke
Carried away on a wind that will not even return my echo to me
I saw a shooting star and recognised her for the girl I sat opposite on a bus once
Dared not call her name for knowledge she did not herself know it anymore
The smoke climbed further, my arms and all the nerves inside them
Unravelling into shadow, even as my own shadow had long since fled
Once upon the sunlight I could have called forth memory
Gripped his heart in my fist and demand one more day
Another aching hour before the unmaking
The smoke has her silken hands around my neck
Tender as an embrace I collapse into her mouth
As I am consumed I see the faces of everyone I carried inside my heart
Forget their names, their voices, the colours of their eyes
And am too forgotten by all but the nights' cold quiet
Everything is lost to the hungry dark
Small, but a death just the same
 Oct 2019 Greenie
fearfulpoet
these hard words

are the only fruit my hard-rocked soiled-soul produces,
my alliterations secrete no beliefs, quench nothing,
the poems I don’t write are my most successful,
the songs that comforted, now find no-entry orifice

skin cold wet clammy sweating unsuitable for tilling,
my horizons natural, felled, underground swallowed,
replaced by the man-made barriers, guardrails of words
leaving body, utterances shoutout, exiting non-permissioned

lurch from one guilt-carrying, black leather-straps wrapped,
round my arm, to the ones strapped around my temple,
honorable acts owed, responsibilities fear foundering
unfulfilled lists, griefs, signs of cowardice, badges shameful

deep sighs, open groans, me mean asking questions of myself,
laughed off, city noises turned off, silences of colorless colden,
the sirens loudest inside reverb endlessly, still give nothing away,
a final exam, an all sided, annual checkup reveals nothing but


these hard words

7:48am 10/15/19
New age folklore tells us
We will find pollution pixies
in the scraped bare remnants
Of houses that were gutted
By an overflowing sea
Their blue skin flecked with mud, and eyes
Red and burning from the chemical stench
Black dogs are just white dogs
Doused in oil and waiting for a flame to catch
They sit outside of graveyards and watch
Not for what has come but what will be
Ten thousand fae women, weeping
As radiation has stolen their fertility
And hunger ravaged their children
Ten thousand changelings with bloated stomachs
And empty eyes
We will tell campfire stories of mannan maclir
And how his whole ocean
Boiled and frothed, the palms of his god-hands
Still too small to contain the damage
His collosal eyes weeping tears that drowned a village
When he saw trawler nets of whales he once taught to speak
Present magic is an ugly thing, tar black and tasting of war
Red caps, with their bleeding heads and wide grins
Are the only true victors in this slaughter
But even they mourn their unseelie cousins
The wild hunt chases oath breakers in their white houses
Those sitting on thrones of corpses
Still shovelling money into stuffed pockets
The dogs are baying and savage, nightmares every one
And no match for every iron bullet that they face
None come back alive
Their pelts are traded with ivory, prices stacked
The heads of dreams now wall decor in overlarge houses
New age folklore is the silent death of every myth and legend
That lended hope under smoggy skies
Magic dies in a blanket of ash
Choking on the dust of indifference
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